Somehow we managed to pull the concert off, and we can do it for the last shows we have. After twenty minutes of hounding from my fellow colleagues, I managed to get back to the hotel. I picked up the phone and called Mitch. "Hello?" he answered groggily. "Mitch, why in the hell did you quit?" He laughed. "I would think that was obvious." "Mitch, that's such a stupid reason to quit your fucking job." "I don't want to hear your preaching. I actually don't want to hear your voice at all." "Stop being like this." "Why should I?! You played me, and you played Bill. I should be a friend and tell Bill what you did." "You wouldn't." "Oh, I would. Never underestimate me, Kara." "I'm sorry! I told you I was sorry! You never should have pushed me to do it in the first place!" "I never pushed you to do anything. I gave you the opportunity to stop, I even asked you if you wanted to, but you said no. You wanted to have sex with me. You liked it." "Stop it!" "You screamed out my name and asked for more-" "Shut up!" "No, I will not shut up. I'm just telling the truth, telling you how much you wanted me." "I didn't call you to hear this." "Then what did you call for?" "To tell you how much of an idiot you are. We only have four shows left, you couldn't hold back your pride and stay?" "No, I couldn't. I couldn't bare to watch you knowing I had you and could never have you again." I was silent. "Exactly. I have to go." he said. He hung up before I could say anything else.
My head rested on Bill's shoulder as he an his hand over my arm. "It's going to be ok. Only three more shows to go. After that you can go home and get away from all your worries. You'll get better." I smiled. "I don't think I'll ever get better." "Sure you will. You just need some alone time. You need to be at home, where you're comfortable." "I guess." He lifted my head up and smiled. "Cheer up! Everything's going to get better. You just need to have a better attitude towards life." "Right, better attitude." He softly kissed my lips. "I can make things better." he whispered. I sighed. "I doubt it." He kissed me harder and gently laid me down onto the bed. "Bill, I don't think-" He put his finger on my lips. "Shh." I let him kiss me and do whatever else. No point in fighting it now. Now I won't have to lie about being a virgin.
~*~ "I'm sorry Bill." I said looking down. "How could you do this to me?" "I didn't mean for it to happen. It just kinda... did." "Sex doesn't just kinds happen!" "I'm sorry!" "No you're not. If you were sorry you would have stopped after the first time you fucked him, but you didn't. No, you're not sorry, you're far from it." Mitch walked into the room and Bill turned around to face him. "You do realize I'm going to kill you for what you did to my girlfriend, right?" he said walking to him. "Hey, it's not my fault she's a whore." He threw a punch at Mitch but he moved out of the way. "I'm going to kill you!" Bill screamed. "Stop it!" I yelled standing in front of Mitch. "What, you're protecting him now?! Do you love him or something?!" Bill yelled. "No! But I'm not going to let you hurt him!" "Get out of my way!" He threw me out of the way and started to hit Mitch.
I slowly turned over. "Mitch, watch out." I groaned. I felt a hand on my shoulder and when I opened my eyes my mom was looking down on me smiling. "Mom?" "Hi sweety." I quickly sat up and wrapped my arms around her neck. "Mom, I miss you." I said as tears fell down my cheeks. "I miss you too." "What are you doing here? Where are-" I looked around the room to see Mitch and Bill were gone. "Those two boys? Oh Kara, you always were the trouble maker. This sounds like something you'd get yourself into." I smiled. "You know me." She laughed. "Of course I do. So, how have you been doing?" I looked down. "Bad. I miss you so much." She patted my back. "You need to move on honey. I love you, you know that, but you need to live your life. Don't let me hold you back." "I don't want to move on. I want you to be with me again." "I will be one day, but not now." "Mom, I love you." I said hugging her again. "I know, I know." "I don't want you to leave me again." "I have to honey. But I want you to know that I love you, and I miss you, but I'll always be with you." "Mom, please don't leave." "Goodbye Kara." ~*~ I woke up screaming with Bill running his hand over my head. "Kara, you were having a nightmare." I sat up and hugged him. "I want my mom back." I said crying. "Oh Kara, Kara." he said rocking me back and forth. "It's going to be ok." he whispered.
"Home!" I screamed as I stepped off the plane with Bill. He smiled as I took off running for the car. "Kara, wait!" he said running after me. I ran faster. The faster I run the faster I'll get home. Bill put his arms around me, making me stop. "No, I have to get home." I said trying to break free. "You'll get home, but I can't have some psycho try to kill you and me not be there to stop them." I sighed. "Fine. We'll walk to the car." We started to walk away holding hands. "So, what are you going to do when you get home?" he asked me. "Well, after I go get my dog, I'm going to sleep. And then I'm going to wake up some time next week and eat, eat for hours straight." He laughed. "Sounds like what I'm going to do. Well, I'm going to come see you some time in there though." I smiled. "Of course you are." We got to the car and he opened my door for me. "Thank you sir." I said getting in.
I never thought I'd be so happy to get home. Familiar sights and smells all surrounded me and I smiled and took it all in. We pulled into me driveway and Bill leaned over and kissed me. "Have fun sleeping and call me later, ok?" he said. I smiled. "Will do. Bye." I quickly kissed him and opened my door. I pulled my suitcase out of the backseat and walked away. Waving goodbye, I unlocked my front door and stepped inside. My suitcase fell to the ground and I jumped up and down. "Home! It's good to see ya!" I walked back outside and to my neighbor's house. I rang the doorbell and heard my dog barking. The front door opened. "Hi Kara! It's good to see you." Martha said hugging me. "Hi. How's my Nefertiti been?" "She's been an angel." A little golden retriever puppy ran down the hallway and jumped up into my arms. "Nefi!" I said as she started to lick my face. "Oh, I've missed you baby." Martha smiled. "Well Martha, thank you so much for watching her while I was gone." "It was no problem. She's such a good dog. You should be going home now. I know you must be tired." "Yeah. Thank you again, and if you ever need anything, I'm right next door." I said starting to walk away. "Ok. Bye Kara. Bye Nefertiti." "Bye!"
I sat on my couch with Nefertiti in my lap, watching tv. Her stomach moved up and down with every breath she took, and I watched almost hypnotized. I looked up and turned off the tv. I laid my head back and closed my eyes. Mitch's words still rang in my ears. "You wanted to have sex with me. You liked it." He's right, I can't deny it. I did want it and I did like it. If he were here I'd want it again. But he's not, so I have to settle for Bill. I suppose it might not be settling. Bill is great, but still, he's no Mitch, in any department. The phone rang and I jumped. "Nefi, I need to get up." She jumped out of my lap and I got up to answer the phone. "Hello?" "Hi sweety. How are you?" Bill asked. "I'm good. I was just resting." "Not sleeping?" "Nope. I haven't been able to yet." "Well, would you like to go out and do something?" "Like what?" "How about some dinner?" "Sounds great. I'm going to have to get ready, so... how about an hour?" "Ok. I'll see you then. Bye." "Bye."
Bill kissed my neck and slowly moved down. I sighed. "Bill, I can't do this right now." He looked up. "Why?" "I just can't." I sat up and ran my fingers through my hair. "Are you ok?" he asked sitting next to me. "Yeah, I'm fine. I just don't feel like it right now." He looked down. "Is it something I did? Am I that bad?" I laughed. "No, Bill, no. I just don't want to right now." "Ok. Well..... What do you want to do?" "I really want to be alone." "Are you kicking me out?" I smiled. "No." "Then what do you want me to do?" I rested my head on his chest. "Can we just sit here?" "Not talking?" "Yeah." "Ok." He put his arm around me and I closed my eyes. I can't tell him. I can't.
I sat at my kitchen table with my legs pulled up to my chest. I ate another spoonful of cereal as I read the back of the box. "Kara, are you down there?!" Bill yelled from down the hall. "Yeah, I'm in the kitchen." He walked into the room and smiled. "How you feeling?" he asked sitting down next to me. "Alright. Why?" "I was just wondering. You were acting weird last night." I raised my eyebrow. "Just because I didn't want you to fuck me I'm acting weird?" "Kara, don't talk like that. That's not what I meant." "Then what did you mean?" "Not that." He ran his fingers through my hair. "I thought you'd be happier when you got home." I sighed. "I guess I'm not." The phone rang and I happily got up to answer it. "Hello?" "We're going shopping." Belle said. "What?" "Get ready, we're going shopping." "Um, ok. No 'Hi, how are you doing? Having fun now that your home?' " "Fine, how are you? Having fun now that your home?" "Well, actually-" "That's fascinating. Get ready, I'm going to be there in a few minutes." "But-" "Bye!" She hung up and I hung up the phone in confusion. "Who was that?" Bill asked. "Belle. She told me to get ready because we're going shopping." "Today?" "Yes. Do you have a problem with this?" "As a matter of fact I do. I mean, we finally have some time alone and you're going to go out shopping? Don't you do enough of that?" "As a matter of fact I don't. If you haven't noticed I've been on tour all summer." "I know you have, but I want to spend some time with you." "You've been spending time with me since I got home, and when I was on tour." "Please stay here with me." "I want to see Belle." "You can see her any time." "No, I can see you any time." "What is with you lately? Do you hate me or something? God, it seems like you're seeing someone else with the way you've been treating me." Oh great, that's it, remind me of that. I rolled my eyes and picked up the phone. "I'll call Belle and cancel." I mumbled. "Great!"
He's always doing this to me. It's like he knows I cheated on him. He's forever making me feel guilty. It's like he's blackmailing me for something he doesn't even know I did. Or does he know? No, he can't know. The only way he'd know is if someone told him. I know I didn't, and Mitch wouldn't if he wanted to live. Did Larry? No, he wouldn't do that, Bill has nothing to do with him. What am I talking about? He doesn't even know about Bill and I. I'm just being paranoid, that's all. He doesn't know, there's no way he could know.
I sat on my couch staring blankly at the tv while Bill rummaged through my refrigerator. "You never have anything good to eat." "I'm so sorry." I mumbled. "Stop being a smart ass." he said angrily. I groaned and rolled my eyes. He walked into the living room and fell onto the couch next to me. "How about you run to the store and get something edible?" I slowly turned my head to face him. "Have you completely lost your mind? I would get mobbed if I went to the store. Why don't you go to the store? You're the one who's going to be eating anyway." "It's your house, you should get the food." "You know what, it is my house, and if you don't like what I have in my refrigerator you can leave." He stood up quickly and glared down at me. "Are you kicking me out?!" "No, I'm simply saying to go get your own damn food. Whether that be here or not I couldn't care less." "Fine, I'll leave then! It seems like you want me to!" He stormed out of the house and I relaxed. "Finally."
My phone rang the next night and I looked at the caller id to see it was Bill. "Should I answer it or not, Nefi?" I asked my dog. "Yeah, I should. Maybe he'll break up with me." I picked up the phone. "Hello?" "It took you long enough to answer." "I was in the bathroom." "Sure you were. Come over to my house." "I don't want to right now." "That wasn't a question." "I don't want to." "Kara, I didn't ask you if you wanted to come over. I want to see you. Come over." "No!" "Listen-" "No, you listen! I'm tired of you telling me what to do! You can't control me! And I don't want to be with you anymore! The thought of being in the same bed as you just makes me sick!" "What?!" "You heard me! I've had so much better than you!" "You told me you were a virgin." "I was until just recently. I don't want to see you anymore." "Are you breaking up with me?!" "Yes I am. Don't ever call here again. Oh, and consider yourself jobless." I hung up and walked next door to Martha's house. I knocked on the door and a few seconds later it opened to reveal a smiling woman with white hair. "Hi Kara. Is everything ok sweety?" "Uh, yeah, I'm fine. But I just broke up with my boyfriend and he didn't take it very well. So, I was wandering if you saw a black suburban anywhere around here you could call me?" "Of course I will. I'll keep an eye out. As for you, you better keep your doors and windows locked." "I will. Thanks Martha." "It's no problem. Bye, and be careful." I waved and walked away. Do I actually think he'll do something to me? Err, better safe than sorry.