"Welcome." I walked into the room filled with people with clipboards and cameras. I sat down on a love seat across from some new news correspondent for MTV. They can't keep one for more than two weeks. The woman reached out and shook my hand. "It's very nice to meet you. I have a niece who's a huge fan." I smiled. "Well tell her I say hi." She smiled. "I'll do that. Ok, you ready for this?" "Ready as I'll ever be." This is going to be hell beyond hell. She waved her hand at a man and he started shouting at people. "Ok, we're on in five.... Four.... Three.... Two...." "Welcome to this special addition of MTV News. In this episode we will be talking with rising pop stars about their new life in the spotlight. Right now I'm with Kara Harper, the new woman on top of the scene. Ok, let's get this thing started. How are you Kara?" I smiled. "I'm great. I'm in the middle of my summer tour and things are going great." "I've heard a lot of good things about that tour. Some great dancing, pyrotechnics, all that good stuff." "Yeah. And let me tell you, all those things put together can be exhausting."
A few minutes later we were still talking about tour life. Thank God for that, maybe she'll forget to ask me about personal stuff. "So, how do you feel being called the new Britney Spears?" I rolled my eyes. "Anyone who compares me to her obviously only looks at the fact that we're both women, well, one of us is a woman. Our music is completely different and she dresses a little more, uh, provocative than me. So no, nothing about us is similar. Anyone with eyes and a brain could see that." "I take it you don't like her too much?" "To say the least." She laughed. "Join the club. Well, there is one thing you two have in common. You both say you're virgins." "Yes, but I'm telling the truth." "And you're so much more easier to believe. I mean, there's just no way she's one." "No kidding." I smiled. This isn't nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be.
I've noticed something about my station in life. Once you're up you must always be in the spotlight. Every second of the day I'm hounded with cameras and fans. The fans I don't mind so much, but the cameras are starting to get to me. I haven't been able to spend one second alone with Bill. It's killing me. I'm with him all the time, but it feels like I never see him. I don't really. He's always in the background. So just when I thought things were getting better, they got progressively worse. Some luck, huh?
I fell face first onto my bed in the hotel. I haven't had decent sleep in three days. I closed my eyes and felt I could fall asleep instantly when someone knocked on the door. "What?" I yelled. "Kara, it's me. Can I come in?" I jumped up and let Bill into the room. I threw my arms around him. "I've missed you!" I said. He kissed my cheek. "I've missed you too." "Aren't you tired?" I asked sitting down on the bed. "Like you wouldn't believe. But I wanted to see you." he said sitting down next to me. "How sweet." He kissed me quickly and laid down. "Let's take a nap." he said into the pillow. "That's the best idea you've ever had." I said laying down next to him and closing my eyes. Sleep never sounded so good.
"Kara, princess, wake up." I opened my eyes and saw a smiling Bill. He kissed me. "We have to go. You have a show to do." I slowly sat up. "Ok. But when I die on the stage you know who to sue." He smiled and pulled me up. "Oh I'll sue the bastards for everything they're worth. But in the meantime we have to go." We walked out of the room and to the bus. "How long did I sleep?" I asked him. "Three hours." I sighed. "I wish it were longer." "You can sleep tonight." "Sure I will. I can never sleep when I'm supposed to. I just don't get it. I can sleep at all hours during the day, but not at night." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a box of sleeping pills. "I carry these around with me for when I get a break. You should take one tonight. You need a decent night's sleep." I took the box and looked at them. "Just one night. Thanks." I said hugging him.
"Thank you Philly! Good night!" I ran off the stage and grabbed a towel from a stage hand. I wiped off my face and ran to the bus. As soon as I got on I collapsed onto the couch in the back. "Ahh, rest." "Tired?" Mitch asked walking into the room. "Just a little." He put his hand on my back and shook me. "You can't sleep!" "Why not?" I asked. "Because you just can't. I said so." I pushed him away and closed my eyes. "I could fall asleep right here." "Don't, Bill's here." He walked out and Bill walked in. "Hey." he said sitting down next to me. I sat up and kissed him. "Hi." He smiled. "Looking forward to a night of sleep?" "Oh yeah." I said laying back down. "Hope you have fun." "I will."
After another two weeks of almost no sleep I had about had it. After a show one night I felt oddly dizzy. I leaned against a wall and put my hand on my head. "Are you ok Kara?" Don asked. "I don't think so." Everything around me started to spin and then turned black. I felt far away from everything, and a sharp pain filled my mind. I need help, but I can't open my mouth to scream. Someone help me.
When I came to I was lying in a hospital bed. I saw Bill jump up and smile. "Oh Kara, I'm so glad you're ok. After the show you passed out and hit your head really hard." "I passed out? Why?" "Sleep deprivation." He laughed. "Shows them, huh?" he said. I smiled. "Are they going to let me sleep?" "Yeah. I gotta go get a doctor, I'll be right back." I closed my eyes and smiled. Sleep, I can finally get some real sleep.
Bill and I sat in my hospital room watching tv. *Pop singer Kara Harper was hospitalized two nights ago when she collapsed after a show due to severe sleep deprivation. She remains in stable condition and should be released sometime this week. Meanwhile her concert has been put on hold.* He turned the tv off. "Hey, I was watching that." I said. He smiled. "You don't need to be watching tv, you need your rest." "So you turned off the tv?" He ran his hand through my hair. "Yes." He leaned down and kissed me lightly on the lips. "Um, Kara?" "Yes?" "As soon as you get out of here, can we go out and do something together, alone?" I smiled. "Yes." He kissed me again. "It's going to be great, you just wait and see."
My last day at the hospital and I can't wait to get out of here. Bill's picking me up and taking me somewhere, but he won't tell me where. He keeps teasing me about it and I'm ready to kill him. One more crack about my ignorance and he's going down. I stood at the desk in the front signing out when he walked in. "Ready to go ma'am?" he asked with a smile on his face. "Yes." I signed one more paper and walked away with him. "So where are we going?" I asked. "You'll see when we get there." He opened the car door for me and I got in. Quite reluctantly, I might add. We started to drive away in the opposite direction of the hotel. "Where are you taking me?" I asked, crossing my arms. "You'll see when we get there. But you're going to love it, I can tell you that much."
A half an hour later we pulled into the driveway of a cabin in the woods. I smiled. "Bill, is this where you're taking me?" I asked happily. "Yep. You need a little rest after all you've been through." I smiled and clapped my hands. "Yay! Oh Bill, this is the best thing ever. Thank you so much!" He smiled and parked the car. "Your palace awaits you, your highness." I smiled and he jumped out of the car and to my door. He opened the door and picked me up. "What are you doing young man?" "Young man who's older than you?" I laughed as he started walking towards the house still holding me in his arms. "You're going to spoil me." I said. "You deserve it, princess." I smiled and he opened the door. He carried me inside and walked to a bedroom. "Why Bill, what are you planning on doing?" I asked. He smiled and laid me down on the bed. "Now Kara, I understand that you probably don't want to do this. So, if you don't, just tell me." he asked. Oh God, I never thought he'd ask me. "Uh, Bill, you know I like you a lot, but I just don't think I'm ready." He smiled. "That's fine. I can just kiss you." He started to kiss me. This is all I need in the world.
You've never been kissed like Bill can kiss. I could kiss him all night long, but I know he'd want to move further. So I just manage with kissing him every now and then. We've been in this cabin for two days and I'm still loving every minute of it. I'm dreading going back on tour. I won't be able to see Bill like this.
I walked out into the living room and sat down on the couch next to Bill. I laid my head on his shoulder and smiled. "How are you?" he asked. "I'm good. I'm dreading going back tomorrow though." He ran his fingers through my hair. "I know, me too. But hey, we'll be able to spend more time together than before." "How do you figure?" "They're going to lighten up on your work load, giving us more time." He said rubbing my shoulder. I smiled. "You think so?" "I know so. I talked to some people in charge and they said they were going to do that. And that makes me happy." I smiled and kissed his cheek. "The rest of the tour is going to be great."
I was stupid to listen to him. How could they lighten my load? I've had this schedule planned for months, I can't just cancel on radio stations and photo shoots. I got back into the swing of touring, and three days later I felt myself slipping into my old ways. They're going to kill me I swear. I have been sleeping less to try and get things finished from my break, and in the past three days I've slept five hours, which I consider a small amount of sleep for one night. But I keep moving, trying to catch as much sleep as I can, wherever I can, whether it be on the bus, on couches somewhere, or in my bed. Ah, sleep deprivation. The very essence of my life.
I walked into the Teen magazine building for a photo shoot. The temperature was stifling compared to outside, so I pulled my sleeves up and walked to where I was supposed to go. "Kara! You're here. Follow me and we'll get you ready." A woman said taking my arm and pulling me away. "Is it going to be a little cooler where we're taking the pictures?" I asked. "Oh yes, we can't have our little diva sweating." I narrowed my eyes. "What's that supposed to mean?" "Oh nothing." she said opening a door and practically shoving me inside. "Have a seat." A man said motioning to a chair. I sat down and he started to scatter make up on the counter in front of me. "Who was that woman who showed me in?" I asked. "Oh, that was Miranda. Don't mind her, she's a bitch to everyone." He said opening a bottle of foundation. "So, looking forward to being on the cover of this oh so popular magazine?" he asked applying the make up. "Sure, I'm just hoping they don't get too personal with the questions." "Yeah, I can imagine what they must ask you." "Oh, you have no idea."
"They're expecting me to wear this?" I asked holding up the skimpy outfit. The man looked up. "I guess so." I put it down. "No, I'm not. I don't want that kind of reputation following me around the rest of my life. I don't want to be like some people." He smiled. "Don't worry. We always have back up for just this kind of problem. I'll be right back. He walked out of the room and I looked at myself in the mirror. I can't believe I'm doing this. They're making me something I'm not. And what kind of backup outfit could they possibly have? He walked back into the room with a more conservative outfit, but just a tad bit more. I smiled. "Thank you." I said taking it and walking into a changing room.