It wasn't even our cottage, we were merely looking after it as a "favour" for one of my father's collegues. You see, this guy (the collegue) usually lives at his cottage during the summer and does a lot of his work from there. However, he and his wife were going on a vacation in Europe and asked my dad if he could look after their house/cottage while they were gone. Now, wouldn't that be nice having a house, then a cottage and also have enough money to go on a vacation. For us, going to look after what this man refers to as his second goddamn home was a vacation. I'm not complaining really, I mean, I am content with the lifestyle my family has. I wouldn't even want to be rich. Maybe that's just being ignorant because I've never been rich, and for all I know I could become really greedy if my family had tons of money. Either way, I enjoy living as my family does. However, when my father gave me the offer of going to swim I reacted rather hastefully, pouring out excuse after excuse as to why I didn't feel like going. I knew what the truth in my mind was, but it would only be a childish excuse to my father. So, I continued to try and convince him that I wasn't hot or that the water would be too cold.
Now, I just mentioned that I knew what the excuse for me not wanting to swim was, and I now intend to let you know as well. You see, two months ago, my girlfriend at the time broke up with me. It wasn't the most heart breaking of all experiences at the time, having been dumped numerous times before. However, after a month went by, I really noticed the effects she had on my life. I began to feel rather bare, like an essential aspect of happiness was now vacant from my life. I tried forcefully to remove all thoughts of sadness from my mind in the passing month or so, but only upon our arrival at this cottage did I finally realise how unsuccessful I truly was.
Thousands of trees surrounded the log cabin of a cottage, and a beatiful river that led to a maginificant lake just a minute or two away lay at the bottom of the towering cliffs at the edge of the property. There was as much silence as any city dwelling person on vacation could ever desire. To say the least, I was living in a heaven here on Earth. However, this heaven had one devistating flaw... I wasn't in bliss! My mind swirled under constant torment of thoughts of me and my now ex-girlfriend. I became increasingly more restless as I thought about her. Her beatiful greenish-blue eyes were like permanent imprints in my thoughts. The way that she would fill my stomach with butterflies every time I saw her still had effect on me even when I simply thought of her. She was the only female I have ever met who still gave me that feeling after dating her. She was simply the best thing I have ever had, and now that I was living in this so-called heaven for two weeks, I was trapped with my family and my mind.
The day before leaving, I finally got contact from her again. Well, it wasn't so much from her, but it was a sign that she might have still had feelings for me. Her friend had phoned me to ask if i wanted to accompany her and my ex to a movie the next day. She phoned the day before to ensure that it was more likely to happen. However, with the fact that I was leaving the same day they wanted to see the movie I was only able to decline their offer. But, I didn't decline right away. I fought it with my parents. I asked, well not just asked, but enforced the idea of me staying home while they went away. It seemed childish of me to want to stay away from such a beautiful place like this to merely dwell on something that had gone. However, I felt as though it was the necessary thing for me to do in order to either move on from her, or for me to accept that she was gone. Who knows, maybe something would have even sparked between us again, just like the first day we met. But no, my parents insisted I spend the next two weeks alone with them and my brothers in a remote area where I would be trapped and forced to deal with the complicating thoughts filtering through my cranium. To say the least, I was fucking pissed!
Not making the situation of having to leave was my friend who made the remark that my ex-girlfriend was really hoping to see me again. Why on Earth would my ex be hoping to see me again so badly after breaking up with me? I mean, Jesus Christ! If she was so eager to be with me, why would she break up with me? Whatever the reason was, I was destroyed internally by hearing this while still knowing I couldn't see her because I had to leave. For two months I had gone without contact from her, and now this! What the fuck is wrong with this world? I was leaving for a cottage with no phone or anything. There was no way for me to even phone my ex up and talk to her. (Rest on next page)
