For two weeks I would have to be subjected to painful recollection of old times, relinquishing to the battering feelings my mind was creating of a possiblity to refurnash a romance between my ex and I again. I didn't want to be here! All I desired was to be sitting in a fucking theatre by the side of the girl who gave me months of the most memorable feelings of my entire life! My family seemed so easy to place every bit of their city life behind them and bask in the fruits of heaven. Why couldn't I be like them? I would love to be the ones swimming in the river enjoying this time, rather than being the one having to create excuses as to why he would rather sit by himself and throw away two weeks of isolation in a wonder land. Isolation was my worst enemy at this point, as I was too fraught with anguish to be able to consider something like swimming as anything less than a tedious excersise. When you're thoughts are empty, you can find the fun aspects of swimming and being alone. But when you're trapped with only your mind for two weeks, and your mind has other ideas than having fun anything involving effort becomes a horrible task, not a source of happiness.
I wish I could convince myself that everything from this situation would end up becoming the best thing for me. However, thoughts of optimism were not close to heart. When I got back, would she still want to see me so badly? If she wanted to see me so badly still, was it because she still had feelings for me as someone more than a friend? If she still liked me more than just a friend, would we be able to start over again and create a relationship that could last? All of these tormenting thoughts lingered in my mind, and surely would continue to ravish any chance of gaining happiness I had.
It makes no sense at all! Normally I would kill to leave the city and be in such a marvelous place like this. Of all the days my friend had to call me, she chose to call me the day before I left. It's fucking ridiculous! Even on Earth there is such a thing as heaven, as this cottage proved it could be if I wasn't devastated with lost-love. However, it all showed that in any heaven, there is still room for hell.
The End
