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Hillbilly Hilarity

HillBilly Medical Glossary

Antibody - against everyone
Artery - the study of fine paintings
Bacteria - back door to cafeteria
Bandages - The Rolling Stones
Barium - what you do when CPR fails
Benign - what you be after you be eight
Botulism - tendency to make mistakes
Bowel - letters like A, E, I, O, or U
Cardiology - advanced study of poker playing
Catscan - searching for the cat
Cauterize - made eye contact with her
Cesarean Section - a neighborhood in Rome
Colic - a sheep dog
Coma - a punctuation mark
Congenital - friendly
Cortizone - the local courthouse
D&C - where Washington is
Dilate - to live longer
Enema - not a friend
Enteritis - a penchant for burglary
ER - the things on your head that you hear with
Fester - quicker than someone else
Fibula - a small lie
G.I.Series - World Series of military baseball
Genes - blue denim slacks
Genetil - non-Jewish
Grippe - what you do to a suitcase
Hangnail - what you hang your coat on
Hemorrhoid - a male from outer space
Herpes - what women do in the Ladies Room
Hormones - what females do when displeased or extreamly pleased
Hospital - the biggest building in town, other than Joe's feed warehouse or Franks lumber mill
ICU - peek-a-boo
Impotent - Distinguished, well known
Inpatient - tired of waiting
Labor Pain - Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff - a doctor's cane
Minor Operation - somebody else's
Morbid - a higher offer
Nitrates - Cheaper than day rates
Organ Transplant - what you do to your piano when you move
Organic - church musician
Outpatient - a person who has fainted
Pap Smear - A fatherhood test
Paralyze - two far-fetched stories
Pathological - a reasonable way to go
Pelvis - Second cousin to Elvis
Pharmacist - person who makes a living dealing in agriculture
Plaster Cast - the drunk roadies backstage at a rock concert
Post Operative - a letter carrier
Protein - in favor of young people
Recovery Room - place to upholster furniture
Rectum - what happened to the Corvette
Red Blood Count - Dracula
Rheumatic - amorous
Saline - where you go on your boyfriend's boat
Secretion - Hiding something
Seizure - Roman emperor who live'd in the Ceasarean Section
Serology - study of English knighthood
Sterile Solution - not using the elevator during a fire
Surgery - a reason to get an uninterruptible power supply
Tablet - A small table
Terminal Illness - getting sick at the airport
Tibia - country in North Africa
Triple Bypass - better than a quarterback sneak
Tumor - an extra pair
Urine - opposite of "you're out"
Varicose - Near by
Vein - conceited

My name is Norma. I'm married to Lionel. We have 5 kids - Taryn, Sarah, Robyn, Wendy and Peter, and one grandchild, Tony. At the moment, I am teaching French and Home Economics at a Christian School. I also enjoy writing, reading, facilitating Christian study groups, exercise, gardening, playing guitar, and a multitude of other interests.

I hope you will find some stimulating ideas here, and I'd love to hear your reactions and thoughts too... leave a note in the Guest Book, or email me.

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