Jokes

Jokes section is divided in to different categories according to your interests!

Handsome, Sweet, Intelligent, spontaneous, good-looking, nice friends, charming, funny, well...Enough about ME! How about you?
What is live ? Live is love. Whats love ? Love is kissing. Whats kissing ? Come here and I show you.
Are you free for the rest of your life?
Hello, I'm a thief and I'm here to steal your heart!
Your daddy must be a terrorist because you are DA BOMB!
It must have been a rainy day when you were born..Heaven was crying 'cus it lost its most beautiful angel!
I must have been born under a lucky star, to find a friend as nice as you are, and I will follow the rainbow until the end, if you promis forever to be my friend!
If love is a crime, lock me up, i'm guilty baby
In my dreams you're mine, in my life you're a dream.
Girls are like internet domain names... the ones I like are already taken.
I want to share everything with you, your sadness, your happy moments, every single second of the day.
Love is in the air... shit if only I had a plane right now ...
I do not think much, I do not think often, but when I do think, I think of you
Be smart, be clever, put me in your heart, 4-ever.
if one night a big fat man jumps in at your window grabs you and puts you in a sack don't worry I told Santa I wanted you.
If I was a fly, I would fly to you now... but I'm not so I need to stay home and cry!
At night I cannot sleep and during the day I dream of you...
If love is blind, how will she find me ?

I am a killer, I kill people for money. But because you are my friend, I'll kill you for nothing!
The NHS regrets to inform you that your birth was an accident. Please report to your nearest hospital to be put down. We apologise for any inconvenience.
Don't feel sad, don't feel blue, Frankenstein was ugly too!
If I can be of any help, you're in worse trouble than I thought.

After the party - mum, I am not drunk, I can lay on the flour without holding on
A girl phoned me the other day and said...Come on over, there is nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home.
I love you in the mornig, I love you in the evening, but most of all, I love you when you are leaving
When I was a dog, and you were a flower, I walked over you and gave you a shower!!
If you have no voice: SCREAM...... If you have no legs: RUN......... If you have no hope: INVENT�
To wake up in the morning and always see the sun no matter the weather, I'm glad the day has begun.

Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
Nok nok.Who's there?....Marie!....Marie who?.....Mariewhowanna....!!
The jogger who overslept found himself running late.
The more you study. Tthe more you know. The more you know. The more you forget. The more you forget. The less you know. So why study?
Everything in life is relative, ask Einstein.
How do frogs die ? They Ker-mit suicide.

All computers wait at the sames speed.
Real anarchists play chess without kings.
Monday is one seventh of your life!
When I was young I begged God for a bike, but God does not work that way... so I stole a bike and begged for forgiveness!
Aiming to remain good sports, we park as close as possible near the sports centre.
Money ressembles fat... there is plenty of it, but always in the wrong places.
No-one loves hard work more than the one who pays for it.
Some people live because it is illegal to kill them!
Richness has eternal value if we use it to make others happy.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but no one wants to die...
There are days that nothing goes your way, but does it help to complain? No, not a bit. So, stand up to it, list all the points and put your schoulders to the wheel, even worries go away.
Learn to live every moment of happiness, are never too busy to receive or give love.
We have to make a choice, the truth or the appearances. You can loose yourself if you are never you.
The sea consists of water drops, the sand dunes of grains of sand, time of moments, use them with common sense!
Today is the day ... It comes only once- ... because tomorrow ...is no longer today. Enjoy life... it is possible ...but do it today ... because today is the day
The greatest lesson in life is to know that even fools are right sometimes
Trains never follow the schedule, they follow the rails

Stress is when you wake up and realises that you haven't slept yet.
Reality is an illusion that is born out of shortage of alcohol.
I want to live in Switserland where the mountains are higher than the taxes.
Join the army, meet interesting people and then ... kill them...
All of you who believe in psychokinetics, raise 'my' hand ...
Lots of people stop working once they found a job!
As long as they pretend to pay me, I pretend I am working.
3 monkeys escaped from the zoo ... one was caught watching tv ... another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt message
My mother-in-law walks 5 miles every day... I wonder where she'd be by now.
Keep the school clean ... stay home!
Be quiet in the classroom, respect the fact that others sleep!
We do have to go to school ... Have to is force ... Forcing is slavery .... Slavery is forbidden ... SO ... we do not have to go to school!
The IDEAL man does not smoke, does not drink, does not flirt, goes to bed early, in short ... does not exist
Boys say it's great, boys say it's fine. 9 months later they say it's not mine !
Life is like a nose, you have to take out what is in it !
Wanna get stoned? Drink wet cement!

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