Jokes section is divided in to different categories according to your interests!

  • Absurd
  • Daring
  • Flirt
  • Riddle
  • Friendship
  • Jokes
  • Profundities
  • Miscellaneous


    • Funny
    • 20% of the population is now drinking coffee, 60% is having sleep, 19% is watching television and one yokel is reading this.
    • A woman likes to have four animals in the house: a jaguar in front of the doorway, a fox in the closet, a bull in bed, and a numbskulll to pay for this all.
    • At this moment i have a d�j� vu and a loss of memory at the same time. I thin I have forgotten this before.
    • Be friendly with your kids, they choose your home when you are old!
    • Be nice to the ones who smoke.. every cigarette migh be their last.
    • Birdy birdy in the sky, left a poopie in my eye. Me don't care, me don't cry, me just happy that a cow can't fly!!
    • Did I not see you yesterday at the mall, with a grey jacket? No? O, than it was a rubbish bag after all! .
    • Do not disturb, I am enough disturbed as it is . . .
    • Don't feel sad, don't feel glue, Einstein was ugly too !
    • E man pays $.2,00 for a $.1,00 item that he needs, a woman pays $.1,00 for $.2,00 item that she does not need.
    • Excessive use of alcohol can lead to a pregnancy.
    • For you I would go as far as the end of the world. Do you promise to stay here ?"
    • Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now..... sorry I will leave, I can't find a brain.
    • I am a killer,I kill people for money.....But because you are my friend,I'll kill you for nothing!
    • I am not stupid, I am blond!!! B - L - O - N - T
    • I am not your type ... I am not inflatable.
    • I know why I am single, my parents-in-law were not able to have kids...
    • I like to compare you with a nice cold glass of beer, beautiful colour, perfect taste, really perfect and when the glass is empty i just take the next one!
    • I once sniffed Coke, but the icecubes blocked my nostrils...
    • If being ugly would hurt, you would be in pain all day long.
    • If you have picture where you look old, keep them. In twenty years you can prove that you have not changed a bit.
    • If you really ressemble the picture on your ID, you are not fit enough to travel.

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    Love
    • Of all the friends I've ever met. Your the one I won't forget. And if I die before you do, I'll go to heaven and wait for you.
    • When the night comes, look at the sky. If you see a falling star, don't wonder why, just make a wish. Trust me, it will come true, because I did it and I found you.
    • I feel something in my heart, it's like a little flame, every time I see you, this flame lights up, this flame is special for you, because I LOVE YOU!.�
    • The first time we kissed, I closed my eyes, He closed his eyes, and then....� WE MISSED!
    • Ferrari's are red, Lambo's are blue... but I am as happy in a mini with you.
    • If I had a penny for everytime I thought of you, I'd still miss you, but at least I would be rich enough to come and see you..!!
    • If I die and go to heaven, I'll put your name on a golden star. So that all the angels can see, how much you mean to me.
    • The ideal husband is the one who understands what his wife did not say.
    • I wanted to send you all my love but the postman said it was too big !!!!!
    • Women admire a man because he is strong , but they love him for his weaknesses.
    • The moment I first saw you, you warmed my heart, the second time you made little flames and now you make my heart burn like hell !
    • X-ray can not reveal a love struck heart.
    • Zodiac signs are insignificant when it comes to love.

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    Insulting
    • Haven't I seen your face before - on a police poster?
    • Look who's talking - I bet when you go to the zoo you have to buy two tickets: one to get in and another to get out.
    • I think the sun shines out of your arse.
    • Well, you're living proof that even a turd can be polished.
    • Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today
    • Brains aren't everything. In fact in your case they're nothing
    • Don't let you mind wander - it's far too small to be let out on its own
    • He doesn't know the meaning of the word "fear" - but then again he doesn't know the meaning of most words
    • I don't know what makes you so dumb but it really works
    • Your face looks like you've been using it as a doorstop
    • Your face would not only stop a door, but also most clocks and a herd of charging buffalo
    • If your face had "Welcome" written on it, it would make a perfect doormat
    • If you put your face by a door, no one would ever come in
    • Your face is such a mess, when you practice diving why don't you make sure the pool has water in next time.
    • Your face is such a mess, why don't you get your dog something different to chew on ?
    • Your face is such a mess, you should stop reading before slamming the book shut
    • Your face doesn't look like a doorstep, it looks like the door just kept going
    • Your face is such a mess, you must stop using it to hammer in nails

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    Absurd
    • Birdy birdy in the sky dropped a poopy in my eye, I don't worry I don't cry, I'm just happy that cows can't fly!

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    Daring
    • You are so beautiful, sweet and faithful... It is a pity that I do not like animals!!!
    • I think you are ugly and stupid, You are a real pain in the �... Wait a moment.... oh no, I do have the right person...
    • Roses are red, violets are blue, when I sense the smell of the bathroom, I think of you !
    • I do not swear, I do not smoke and I do not drink ! O damned My sigarette has fallen in my glass of beer ...
    • I wish you lots of itching and short arms.
    • You have the face of a saint...a Saint-Bernard!
    • Why do men fart more often than women ? Because women do not keep their mouth shut long enough to build up the pressure..
    • Ok� honey, we will try one more time!! How do you spell 'IQ' ?
    • I am born this way, but what is your excuse?
    • I love the sea, I love the rocks, but when I see you I need to puke !
    • Some people die. Others become a teacher...
    • Women are just like frogs. They have a big mouth and are scared of the stork.
    • Roses are red ... Violets are blue ... but a face like yours belongs in the zoo !!!
    • On the door of a toilet....Some people come here to sit and wonder, I come here to shit like thunder!
    • Roses are red violets are blue, shit stinks and so do you!

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