Short Jokes
Send me some if you got em, i'll try and post as often as possible.
What's black and blue and hates sex?
A rape victim.
Why didnt the sped cross the road?
Because he'd just been kicked out of his wheelchair and savagely raped
What's the best thing about fucking an 8 year old in the shower?
Slicking his hair back and pretending he is 5.
Two bloody tampons are walkin down the road, what did one say to the other.
Nothin they are both stuck up cunts
How do you know when its bedtime at Michael Jackson's house???
When the big hand touches the little hand.
Q. What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A. Her ankles
Why is there only two palbearers at a nigger's funeral?
Because their is only two handles on a garbage can!
Why do niggers carry shit in their wallet?
Identification
Why do niggers wear wide brimmed hats?
So birds won't shit on their lips
How do you stop black kids from jumping on your bed?
Put velcro on the ceiling
Why do niggers smell so bad?
So blind people can hate them too
Why does Stevie Wonder smile all the time?
He doesn't know he's black
How do you get a nigger down from a tree
Cut the rope
How do you stop a nigger from hanging around in your front yard?
Hang him in the back
What do you do when you see a nigger with one leg?
Stop laughing and re-load
How many niggers does it take to pave a road?
Depends on how you slice them
What's green and pink and purple and orange?
A nigger dressed for church
What's the difference between a deer in the road and a nigger in the road?
The deer has skid marks in front of it
What is wrong with 4 niggers going over a cliff in a cadilac?
It seats 5
What do you say when you see your t.v. floating around at night?
Drop it nigger
Why are niggers so strong?
T.V.'s are getting heavier
Why are niggers so fast?
All slow ones are in jail
What do you call a nigger having sex?
Rape
What are 3 things you can't give a nigger?
A black eye, a fat lip, and a job
How do you stop a nigger from drowning?
Take your foot off his head
What is the difference between batman and a black man?
Batman can go out at night without robin
What's the definition of mass confusion?
Father's Day in Harlem
Why shouldn't you hit a nigger riding a bike?
Because the bike is probably yours
Why do white people go to black people's garage sales?
To get their stuff back
What do black kids get for Christmas?
Your bike
What is long and hard on a nigger?
First Grade
Why do Black People lean to the middle when they drive?
They think the smells comin' from the outside
Where is the best place to hide a nigger's food stamps?
Under his work boots.
Why do niggers have red eyes after having sex ?
Because of the pepper spray
What's the difference between a nigger and a bike?
When you put chains on a bike it doesn't start singing
How do you know Adam and Eve weren't black?
Ever try taking a rib from a nigger?
How long does it take a nigger to shit?
Nine months
What does a smart nigger, and Santa Clause have in common?
They're both fictional characters
Why are the trees in harlem so close together?
Public transportation
In 4th Grade who has the biggest dick, the wetback, the white boy, or the nigger?
The nigger... he's 16
What do you call a white man surrounded by 5 black men?
victim
How about a white man surrounded by 10 men?
A quarterback
How about a white man surrounded by 20 black men?
basketball coach
and a white man surrounded by 40 black men?
a football coach
and finally a white man surrounded by 1,000 black men?
a warden
What do you call a barn full of dead niggers?
Antique farm equipment
What's long and black?
The unemployment line
How do you start a black parade?
By rolling a penny down the street
What do black people give their daughter when she turns 13?
A baby shower
Why do niggers wear high heel shoes?
So their knuckles won't drag on the ground
What do you get when you cross a gorilla and a nigger?
A dumb gorilla
What do you get when you cross a monkey and a nigger?
Nothing, monkeys are too smart to fuck niggers
What do niggers and sperm have in common?
Only one in two million work
Why do niggers always have sex on their minds?
Because of the pubic hair on their heads.
How did the nigger break his leg raking the leaves?
He fell out of the tree.
How has Jesse Jackson lost the vote of most niggers?
He promised to create jobs for them if elected.
What do you call a nigger in a suit?
Defendant
What do black girls and bears have in common?
They both suck their paws
What happened when the nigger looked up his family tree?
A gorilla shit in his face
Q. What does a nigger and a apple have in common?
A. They both look good hanging from a tree
Q. What would you call the flinstones if they were black?
A. Niggers
Q. Why do niggers wear white gloves?
A. So they don't bite their fingers off when eating tootsie rolls
Q. Whats green and pink and purple and orange?
A. A nigger dressed for church
Q. Why don't niggers celebrate thanksgiving?
A. KFC isn't open on holidays
Q. What is the American dream?
A. For all the niggers to go back to Africa with a jew under each arm
Q. Why don't niggers take asprin?
A. Its white, it works, and they refuse to pick the cotton out of the bottle.
Q. What is white from above and black up close?
A. A cotton field
Q. What is yellow on the outside and black on the inside and a lot of fun to watch?
A. A bus full of niggers going over a cliff
Q. Why are there niggers in heaven?
A. There's toilets to be cleaned there too
Q. What is 8 miles long and has a IQ of 68?
A. The Martin Luther day parade
Did you hear about the Klu Klux Kanevil?
He tried to jump seven niggers with a steamroller
Q. How are a lawyer and a prostitute different?
A. The prostitute stops fucking you after you're dead.
Q. What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlgriend?
A. He wiped his ass and moved on.
Q:What do you call a truck full of dildos?
A:Toys for Twats
Q. How do you get four old ladies to shout "Fuck"?
A. Get a fifth old lady to shout "Bingo!"
Q. What doesn't belong in this list : Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob?
A. Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can't beat a blowjob.
Q. Have you heard about the new super-sensitive condoms?
A. They hang around after the man leaves and talks to the woman.
Q. What's worse than getting raped by Jack the Ripper?
A. Getting fingered by Captain Hook.
Q. What did the two lesbian frogs say to each other?
A. WE DO TASTE LIKE CHICKEN!
Q: What do you call a lesbian with chubby fingers?
A: Well hung.
Q: Why did God invent the yeast infection
A: So women know what it is like to live with an irritating cunt
Q. What's the hardest part of rollerblading?
A. Telling your dad you're gay.
What's the best form of birth control after 50?
Nudity.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
45 lbs.
What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
45 minutes.
How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.
Why does the bride always wear white?
Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator.
A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade. Who has the biggest boobs?
The blonde, because she's 18.
Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.
What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"
What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?
Beer Nuts are $1, and Deer Nuts are always under a buck.
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
Everyone has the same DNA.
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.
What's the difference between a Northern fairy tale and a Southern fairy tale?
A Northern fairy tale begins "Once upon a time."
A Southern fairy tale begins "'Y'all ain't gonna believe this Shit.