Top Reporter Mysteriously Appears
by Blur


Seattle, WA

After a fortnight of being out of contact of the august publication, the Number One Paper, I am happy to announce that I am officially found. The typical uncooperative attitude of the authorities (aka "The Man") has been noted and will be taken into consideration in future enterprises. Currently, I have a solid lead to my whereabouts - I'm here, on US soil.

I contacted fellow reporters and long-time friends Raiden and Dozr. "Man, when Blur heard about me commenting that we were totally screwed without him, he told us we should have got a power drill while he was away, heh", said Mr. Raiden. Editor and co-founder Dozr had only this to say: "I hope to God he got some money for Christmas. I used up all my money calling his mom."

So far, noone has taken credit for Blur's sudden appearance and no demands have been made for his departure.

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