"Any change?" she asked hopefully, placing a hand on Kevin's shoulder.

"Well, his colour is better and he's been moving a bit, eyes are twitching, fingers flexing, that sort of thing. The doc says it a good sign, that his brain is active."

She hugged him "That's wonderful news!"

"Hey, do you want to be alone with him for a bit? We just got in, but that's okay..."

"No, actually, I just wanted to check in." She lied, of course she wanted to stay and pour out her heart to Kevin, but she needed to go somewhere else first. "I just took some aspirin and I probably should go lay down. I'll be back later, okay?"

She stood outside Nick's door debating with herself. "Should I go in or just let him talk when he's ready?" she asked herself. The door had a small window, so she carefully looked in. Nick was sitting up in bed with a drawing tablet balanced on his knees. A pencil hung loosely from the fingers of one hand, the other was under his chin. A white gauze bandage with spots of blood seeping through was wrapped around his head. Tufts of soft, blond hair peeked through. She laughed to herself. Except for the blood, he looked like he did dressed up as the Mummy in the "Everybody" video. He stared out the window, unmoving. When he did turn his head, she saw a single tear slide down his cheek to the corner of his mouth. She couldn't take it any more. Slowly she opened his door and entered the room.

"Nick."

His head whirled around.

"'Leen!"

She thought she detected a note of joy in his voice.

And then, "I told them I didn't want to see anybody." Sullen, stubborn.

"Nick, don't be like that." she said gently. "We are all so worried about you."

"What for?" That tone again.

"Brian is so upset because you won't talk to him. Aaron wants to see his big brother, to know that he is okay. His heart is broken because his big brother refuses to see him. Please help us understand Nick. Let us know what we can do to help you get through this."

Nick was quiet for a moment and then looked at her. "How can you even stand to look at me after what I did to you? Don't you hate me?"

"Nick."

She touched his arm. When he didn't pull it away she gave him a small hug. She could feel his muscles tense, but he let her hug him. she felt a flutter of hope in her heart. It was a step in the right direction.

"I don't hate you, how could I? I asked you to do it. I could never blame you for anything that happened back there."

"What about Kevin?"

His haunted blue eyes stared at her, the sullen edge still to his voice.

She misunderstood. "Kevin is doing great! Well, he's still unconscious but the doctors expect him to recover 100%."

Nick considered this. "He's gonna be okay?"

"Eventually, yes. Isn't that great news?" she smiled.

"I might as well have died." He said it so quietly she barely heard him.

"Nick, no. Kevin will understand. He knew what went on in there. They probably would have shot you too. He'll understand."

"He asked me not to hurt you, right after they shot him, remember?"

How could she forget? "Nick you didn't hurt me, those assholes did, but not you. You were as gentle as you could possibly..."

"You didn't see his eyes... when he said that... he's gonna hate me."

His voice rose, he flung his pad against the wall and fell back on the bed, covering his face with the pillow.

"Can you go? I'm tired."

Aileen left and returned to her room. She sank into the chair beside the bed and sighed. She felt tears forming, but brushed them away in frustration.

"Oh God Nick! How can I get through to you? How can I get you to understand that you need to forgive yourself, because everybody else already has?"