First off, I do not feel that I can take credit for this story.

These are Nickolas Gene Carter's words, thoughts and emotions. I merely transcribed them for him. Listening to his tapes brought me to tears more than once. Every tape carried a story, be it sad or shocking. Every tape carried the harrowing, unforgettable sound of his tears. I don't think I can ever portray his despair or anguish properly by the mere written word. I hope anyone that reads this that may be in a similar situation get help. I urge you to do it now. You can get away, there is a way out and people to help you.

Nick's final tape was not going to be included here, out of respect, but his father, Robert Carter, and his bandmates graciously permitted it and allowed it to be published. They felt it was an important part of Nick's story. Here it is, in it's entirety.

Well, that's it. There's nothing more to tell you. I've filled you in on my present life, such as it is, as I went along. I know I forgot some stuff, like our Rolling Stone covers, the NSync crap and hype, all our awards. But you wanted my story and I gave it to you the best I could. You can fill in all the rest with the other guys.

My Dad came to see me today. First time in a long time, I was surprised to see him. I asked him how he was doing. "How do you think, with my wife dead, my oldest son in jail and my other son in a padded room?" he said. I didn't know how to answer him. "How is Aaron?" "He won't talk, if he does say anything it's just your name over and over. His eyes are glazed over and his arms are scratched to pieces, they've had to tape his hands together, with pads on his fingernails." He took a deep breath and wiped his eyes. I thought about asking why he bothered to come. I already felt horrible about what I had done to my little brother. I didn't say what I was thinking, which was, it was better for him, being in there than living a life like mine. Better than what Lou had in store for him. "I'm sorry, Dad. I never meant to hurt him. I was trying to save him." Dad got up and left without another word.

A few hours ago, I got a phone call from Dad.

Aaron, my beloved brother, was dead. He had got the pads off his fingers and clawed at his neck, wrists, legs.

When they finally found him, he had bled to death.

Aaron was gone.

That was when I decided what I had to do. So this will be my last tape, my last words. Save it, it will be worth some money someday.

Please tell my family that I loved them and I am sorry I let them down. I think deep down they love me too. But maybe not, not after all I have put them through. Dad, I love you. BJ, Angel, Leslie, you are my girls. Take care of yourselves.

Tell Kevin, Brian, Howie and AJ that I am so sorry. I loved them more than they will ever know and they helped me stay reasonably sane while I was in here. They are part of my family too. I will miss them so much. Nothing I can say will tell them how much they meant to me. But they know. I love you guys.

I've just asked the guard the date and time and he said it was 8:30pm on March 30, 2001. I just wanted to kind of time this for you. For someone. Maybe it will be important.

So, this is it. God willing, I'm going to take care of Aaron now. I won't let him down this time. I will be the best big brother ever.

Goodbye.

Nick Carter's body was found in his cell a few hours after he recorded this tape. He had managed to puncture a hole in his throat with one of the buttons from the cassette recorder. He bled to death, the same day as his younger brother. The one foreign item they permitted him to have in his cell with him, was the cause of his death. I know some people will blame me for that, but I don't feel any guilt. Nick was ready to go. He wanted to be with his brother and if the recorder hadn't been there, he would have found some other way.

~~~~THE END~~~~