Dried Up Tears
Dried Up Tears

~~~~~Chapter Six~~~~


I am getting ahead of myself again. The drugs came later...not too much later, but later. Someone found a new guy for the group not too long after the other guys left. His name was Kevin Richardson. He worked at Disney as, well, as a whole bunch of things. The one I like to tease him the most about was Goofy. Kevin was 20 years old and seemed so much more mature and grown up than the rest of us. Well, maybe not Howie, he was pretty serious most times too. Anyway. Lou really liked his look and sound so Kevin was in. We all figured he would be the so-called leader of the group, for obvious reasons. He was, he is, a take charge kind of person. I think Kevin knew right from the start that I was nervous around Lou. I don't know how because Lou would never do anything around the other guys. He treated me just like he treated them when we were all together. Kevin told me later, he could see it in my eyes. Lou tried out various other guys for the group and nobody worked out. Kevin finally suggested that he had a cousin in Kentucky that "could sing like a bird". Lou told him to call him and get him to Florida as soon as possible.

Brian Littrell walked into the Bandhouse and I knew he and I would be fast friends forever. He had the thickest accent and the nicest manners of anyone I had ever met in my entire life. He was 17 and in his last year of school. And he could sing like nobody's business. We all got together shortly after he arrived and sang a Boyz to Men song. Kevin was right. He was perfect for the group. We had to work hard to get ready for our first gig at Sea World in Orlando. The date of that was not too far away from the time that Brian arrived. We worked really hard, spending almost all our time at the Bandhouse. Lou didn't really change his ways. The new guys didn't live there. Brian lived with Kevin, who had his own apartment just outside of Orlando. So it was the same old, same old for me. One night being ripped apart, two nights off. Fun stuff.

One day, just after we had finished rehearsing, Kevin pulled me aside and put his hands on my shoulders. "What's wrong?" he asked me. I squirmed and refused to look at him. "What do you mean?" "Look, Nick, I don't know you very well, but you're acting like a scared colt." "A what?" I asked him. "You just seem nervous." "I'm fine. I just worried about the show and meeting new people." I lied. I wondered how he knew something was up. I tried to act normal. Well, I avoided Lou as much as possible but other than that I tried to act normal. "Okay." Kevin still looked unsure, but he let me go. "You let me know if anyone is bothering you, got it?" I nodded and turned to stuff my junk in my backpack. I felt a wet drop hit my hand. I was crying. I wiped my eyes and looked around to make sure no one was looking. Why was I crying? I think it was because someone actually showed me, even in that small way, that they cared about me. No one else seemed to lately.

The Sea World show was a huge success. All the girls were screaming and trying to get at us. It was such a great feeling. We kept up our schedule of malls, and whatever small shows we could get. Anything for exposure. We all wanted success now. After that brief small taste, we wanted it more than anything and we all felt that we had the right combination to do it. Lou had sent the tapes of the Sea World performance to Donna and Johnny Wright. They used to manage the New Kids on the Block. Lou felt they had experienced this and knew how to get us shoved in the door. How to give us whatever we were missing. We met them at a restaurant and sang for them. We blew them away, at least, they said we did. They took us on and the first thing they did was fire almost everyone that worked with us. I was upset because I was comfortable with those people, they treated us well and had helped us so much. But that's not what you need in the music industry and they were all gone. Johnny arranged a tour for us of middle and high schools. I loved it. Lou had to stay in Florida for the most part and AJ's mom came with us. She was cool. The tour went great. There were some schools that didn't want to know about us, but mostly we got the girls screaming. We traveled in a little bus with some cots and not much room. Lou joined us about halfway through the tour. I tried to sneak into the very back of the bus, but he would always find me. When the group had their "travel talks", Lou sat beside me and would rest his hand on my knee. I couldn't do anything because it would draw attention to it, and I didn't want that. Kevin already suspected something so I didn't want to say a word. Things were pretty good though. I don't think Lou wanted to risk anything on the bus. Close quarters, if you know what I mean. And Denise was there too, she would have killed him, I think, if she had known. She treated me like her own son. Thank God someone did.


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