Dried Up Tears
Dried Up Tears

~~~~~Chapter Thirteen~~~~


You are probably wondering how I managed to look so young and innocent on TV and in pictures if I was a drugged out slut, right? I know you are. And, before you say anything, yes, I was a slut. There is no better word for it. Well maybe, prostitute. I was getting something for sex. The reason was, I was an actor. Better than some people thought. And, I was careful. I knew when we had things scheduled, interviews or whatever. I was never high on TV or during a concert. And I never did all the things you may have read about on the internet. Cocaine and pot, that's it. I didn't like to drink much, although I did get drunk once or twice at parties. Just didn't like the taste of it. Although I didn't mind a good cold beer, so maybe it was just the hard alcohol I didn't like. I did try Ecstasy once. Not a really good move. I was already a horny, addicted teenager that would fuck anything that moved. I didn't really need any help in that department. I think I screwed the dresser that night. Maybe it was the bed, maybe a double header. I don't remember. Sounds funny now. And I would like to let everyone know, that despite all the fan fiction stories, I never screwed any of the other guys. Never. But if I did, Kevin would be my choice. God, I'm actually laughing over that. Haven't laughed in a long time now.

Anyway, we finished our tour and finished off the album. All the places that had received the first album well, got a totally new record. The US got a mix of the new album and the old album. Almost a greatest hits of our groups young life you could say. Lou planned a big press conference and performance for the album release in New York City. I think it was in August, 1997. There was a huge crowd there to see us and it made us feel so good. Finally a glimmer of success in our own country. There were reporters from all over the country and from other countries at the conference and we did tons of interviews. When we went back to the hotel, we all got together and had a mini party in Howie's room. We were on the verge of breaking through in the States. Even after all the success we had already, we just didn't feel like we had made it until that moment.

Before we knew what was happening, teen magazines were asking for interviews and photo sessions from us. Our videos were being requested on MTV, and getting played, believe it or not. After they told us so many years ago that groups like us were out. The one video that was getting many requests was "Quit Playing Games". You know, the one in the rain. I got the guys to do it. Kevin hated it, and still does. Of course the whole video was Lou's idea. I'm sure he got off at the sight of me all dripping wet, probably got off on the others too. Lou threatened me if I didn't get the guys to do the video. I don't even know what he threatened anymore and I don't know how I got the guys to go along with it. I just remember it being really important that they do it. I wish I could remember! Probably told them something about my sister saying how sexy it would be and how all the fans would love it. I don't know why they listened to me. I guess there is a first time for everything.

So the rest of the summer was filled with small dates in the US, building our fan base and more tours in Europe at the end of the year. We won more awards in Britain amd Europe and performed in some of the shows there. Before the year was out we filmed the video for what would turn out to be our break out single in the States. Once again I got the guys to go along with my idea for a video, but this time it really was my idea. The video for Everybody was so much fun to film. We all dressed up like monsters. Well you've seen it, I don't have to tell you about it. I loved it so much, it was like stepping into another world. Like being in a real movie, you just got lost in the character. Well I did anyway.

1998 started out much the same as the rest of my recent years. Touring, interviews, touring, interviews, touring and more interviews. Our breaking success in the States just made us more busy. I hardly ever got home, but I didn't really care. Aaron was touring in Europe and was so successful it was amazing. I called him a lot, I missed him so much. He was having fun but he missed me too. The only reason he wanted to sing was to be with me and now we were on different continents. I was pleased for him though. And Lou was with me, so I didn't worry too much about him. On a short visit home in the early part of the year I met a girl at a party. Amanda Williford. She was pretty, not model pretty, but pretty. And she seemed nice and we had a good time together. We exchanged numbers and agreed to keep in touch. I was really happy about meeting her and what the future might hold for us because she seemed to not know anything about the group. She wasn't interested in the music business and just wanted to be with me. So much for first impressions.


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