My name is Nick Carter. I know you probably know that but, oh well. I was born in Jamestown, New York, on January 28, 1980, but I don't remember very much about it. New York, I mean. Well, I don't remember much about my birth either, to be honest with you. We moved to Florida when I was still very young. I love Florida, the air, the weather, the water. Especially the water, I miss it so much right now. Anyway, we lived in a...wait a minute...

To whoever is listening to this - you'll fill in all these details right? I don't want to be bothered with all the nit picky stuff. Someone knows all that stuff. Read my mom's book, or something. You just want the dirt from me, you know it and I know it. Well, I'll just go on and if you want me to fill in more details, you can let me know.

Okay, so I started singing in our backyard, I guess everyone knows that. My mom saw me out there, singing to the birds and frogs and things, putting on my own little concert and saw dollar signs. Okay, I won't be that crass at the beginning. You'll think I'm a miserable bastard that way. Anyway, she signed me up for singing lessons. And dancing lessons. And acting lessons. Let's see, I was all of ... 9 years old. My life work cut out for me. Nice, huh? Well you know, I enjoyed it. It was lots of fun performing for people and getting recognition. I was picked for a school play over older kids and people told my teacher that they cried I performed so well. I also got picked to perform for the half time show at the Tampa Bay Buccaneers games and once I sang the national anthem. I forget how old I was. 10 or 11, I think. But it was cool. The Bucs are my favorite team, and I got to see all the games up close and personal back then. I loved learning how to use my voice, how to dance, how to perform for people. Until the kids at school found out and then I was branded the weird one. They all thought I was spoiled cause I would get to leave school early and stuff. I wanted to stay in school but we had to go places, classes, auditions, whatever. Now let me say, even though the school stuff bugged me, I still loved the entertainment part of things. It was exciting and made me feel so good when people told me they like what I did, that I made them smile. So I would have weekends full of praise and then go back to school and get taunted and jeered at. I would get into fights. Bullies would call me a sissy boy or something and I'd get mad. Big surprise huh? Considering where I am and all.

Anyway, onto the juicy stuff, I know that is what you all want to hear about. One day mom saw an ad in one of the trade papers that someone in Orlando was looking for boys ages 16-19 for a "New Kids" type group. I tried to reason with mom that they wouldn't want me. I was only 12. And little. I mean tiny. I had auditioned for the Mickey Mouse Club and that looked pretty good. Like it might work out for me and it would be something stable. This pop group thing sounded exciting but, lots of hard work and traveling. Like I say I was 12. I didn't want to travel, I wanted to stay with my few friends and have fun.

But mom convinced me to go try out. "Just for the experience." she says. "It will look good on your resume." she says. "Resu - what?" I say.

So we drive fours hours to Orlando from Ruskin. Leaving Dad with the girls and Aaron, as usual. We get there and I sing, do some dancing, the usual. The group seemed really happy with me, asked me to sing some more and then called my mom and I over to talk. "We really like him." The big fat man says, smiling at me. I didn't like the looks he was giving me, but what did I know? The lady with him assures us that "they really liked my performance, but I was too young for what they were looking for and that, even though they wanted someone a bit older with more experience, they would keep my tape on file." I smiled and nodded. It was just as well. I didn't want to really join this group. One of the guys was in his 20's for God's sake!

Mom and I talked about it on the long drive home. She asked me what I thought about it and I noticed she was really upbeat about it. She wanted this for me, she thought this was it. "Oh Nicky baby, this could be your big chance. Your chance to let everyone hear your beautiful voice!" So what could a kid say to that? After all the time and money his parents had put into him? "Well, I know you think this is great, ma, but nope, not for me."? Yeah, that would have gone over big. So I agreed with mom, that this would be a great opportunity for me, but reminded her that I was too young, that they wanted someone older. "We'll see." she said with a big smile on her face. "I have a feeling about this one."

So, a week later we get a call. It's from the lady that was at the audition. They want me to come back and sing again. So we made the four hour drive again. I sang and the fat guy was smiling away at me. It made me kind of nervous the way he was looking at me. Like he wanted to eat me up or something. How prophetic, huh? Yeah, I know. That's a big word for me. But I'm jumping ahead of myself here. He came over to us when I was finished and put his heavy arm around my shoulder. "I really hope you want to join us Nickolas. You are very talented." I smiled politely and told him that I liked the idea. Mom jumps in and says, "well, we have to consider all the options. But this looks very promising." and bats her eyes at him. I didn't know what was going on. I found out everything later, too late.

So, I am finally properly introduced to the big fat man with the slimy smile. His name is Louis J. Pearlman. Oh yeah, you recognize that name, don't you? Lou Pearlman, the bastard I killed with my own two hands.