Dried Up Tears

~~~~Chapter 2~~~~


Well, I didn't just kill the prick with my own two hands. I had some help. But to tell that would be getting ahead of myself again.

Mom and I went home after the second audition and, once again, mom was all smiles. "This is it, honey!" she said. "This is your big break!". "But what about the Mickey Mouse Club, mom? They want me too!" I protested. "What about it?" she yelled at me. "Mr. Pearlman is willing to pay for all your lessons from here on in. He's willing to do anything to make you a star! To be successful! Will Mickey Mouse do that?" "He wants the group to be successful, not me." I said. Then mom did something she had never done before. She reached out and smacked me in the face. Hard. "You will be successful, with this group or not. But this is the start. Mr. Pearlman is paying for everything, Nickolas. The family will have some money now." I shut my mouth and stared out the window. Mom and dad had always spent any extra money we had on me. My brothers and sisters went without so that I could sing and dance. She had obviously made up her mind and it didn't matter what I wanted. It was this or nothing. And I was starting to feel guilty about not wanting it. Then I started to cry, big wailing tears. "Didn't I always tell you that I would do anything for you?" she said, as she pulled over. I kept sniffling. "Look at me when I am talking to you!" she yelled, slapping me on the cheek again. Then she grabbed my shoulders and shook me while she yelled. "You are going to be rich and famous! This is it!" "Yes, mama." I answered. "You want this don't you?" She wiped my eyes with her sleeve. "Yes, mama." "Okay then!" She smiled and steered the car out into the traffic again.

That night I heard her and dad arguing. Aaron got scared and crawled into my bed with me. He was only 4 years old. I opened the door a crack and listened. Mom was saying that this was the golden opportunity for me and we would be stupid to reject it. "He's paying all the bills Bob! Everything will be looked after!" Dad wanted to know about school and what about all the travel to and from Orlando? What about the other children? They went on and on. Dad eventually decided to let me do it on the condition that if it wasn't working out and I wasn't happy, we quit. I had to be happy. Nice try dad, but too late. I sniffled back a tear and snuggled up to my baby brother and fell asleep cuddling him in my arms.

For the rest of that week, mom was away. A lot. "Getting things ready for your big break!" she said. I found out later where she really was all that time. I guess she was getting things ready. In a way.

The next week we started to rehearse in Orlando. We worked at Lou's warehouse and at a dance studio that he had selected. The other guys in the group were cool, but they were all older. AJ was...um....you know AJ's real name, right? Yeah, you do. Anyway, AJ was 14, so he wasn't too much older. He just acted like he was. Howie was 19, Sam was 19 and Charlie was....shit, I forget, ask someone. He was about Howie's age, I'm pretty sure.

So Lou had us doing everything, day in and day out. Dancing, singing, dance lessons, voice lessons...you name it. I liked that part. I don't mind hard work and the group was fun, the guys were great. I loved teasing them and playing pranks on them. I did like the work. I didn't mind that a bit. I loved to sing. I missed my brother and sisters though. Mom and I always seemed to be on the road to or from Orlando. I think my sisters resented me, I don't think Aaron did though. They were mad at me, in their own way. I mean, I had mom all the time and she was barely with them ever. I was getting all the breaks and the attention. I felt better knowing that doing this was helping out though. We finally had some extra money since Lou paid for everything.

Anyway, Sam and mom both, I guess, mentioned something to Lou about the longs hours we had to travel. Sam lived in Tampa too. So what did Lou do? Buys a house. Yep, a huge house and he moved everything there. All the offices, he built a dance studio, a little classroom for me and AJ, a recording studio...Man. Sam moved in and mom and I stayed there quite often. Everything seemed to be starting to come together. I guess you could say this house is where everything started to fall apart too. For me, anyway.

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