“I’m sorry Dani. I’m sorry I’ve brought you into my fucked up life. You’re too good for me, baby. I’m so sorry.”

Tears dripped from my eyes onto Dani’s blanket. She stirred and I covered her, brushing my fingertips over her little mouth.

“I’m sorry, baby girl."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bec still sat scrunched in the corner of the couch, tears falling from her face as well. She brushed them away with a fierce swipe of her hand when she saw me.

“I’m sorry Nick. I never knew how to tell you. I didn’t know…”

“What did you do? What happened to my baby?” My anger was rising and it was obvious in my reply.

“I…I…God, Nick! I had an abortion. There was nothing else to do.” Bec sobbed.

Her words made my blood turn cold. I’d had another child, a child that I’d never been given the chance to know or love.

“You killed my child.” My words came out menacing, more so than I had intended.

“Nick, I did it for you. You were in no shape to care for a baby. It would have ruined your career!”

“My career?” I raged. How could she think I would have cared about my career at a time like that?

“You were the top of your fame Nick, there’s no denying that. Who knows what announcing that you had a child, a child out of wedlock, would have done to record sales?”

“I don’t give a damn what it would have done to my record sales!” I slammed my fist on the side table and Bec jumped. Her hazel eyes glanced at me, and then darted away. She looked scared, haunted. “Maybe knowing would have straightened me out sooner. Maybe it would have helped me get clean!” I argued.

“Maybe you wouldn’t have Dani, if that had happened.” Bec said calmly, the voice of reason, as always. But this time I wasn’t going to listen to her. I wasn’t going to listen to excuses.

“I would have helped. I would have cared. How dare you decide for me?”

“Nick, you were drunk, stoned or both in those days!” Bec threw back at me. “You couldn’t even walk home by yourself most nights. How in hell were you going to look after a child? All you could have done back then was give it a name and money! It's not like the child I aborted was the only one of yours that was aborted back then.”

Her retort stung and I turned away as if she had struck me. I slumped back down in the chair and held my head in my hands. What would have happened if Bec had had the baby? Would we have gotten married? Would Dani have been born? Would I have bothered trying to get sober? I let out a frustrated sigh. I couldn’t live without Dani. I loved her too much to even think about her not being in my life. Kevin once told me that everything happens for a reason and that we are always where we are supposed to be, doing whatever we are doing, for a reason. Maybe Dani was my reason. Maybe all that shit I went through was to get me to this point. To make sure I was here to be Dani’s daddy, my ultimate destiny. It didn’t make this matter any easier though.

“Nick?” Bec cautiously uttered my name, stirring me out of my tangled thoughts. "I'm sorry. That was uncalled for."

“S'okay. I’m here, just thinking.” I sighed and raised my eyes to her. “I understand why you pushed me way - after. It all makes sense now. You had found out you were pregnant."

"Yes. I couldn't tell you. I thought it would ruin your life."

"I wouldn't have cared. We could have had the baby, gotten married."

"Maybe Nick. You can't say how you would have acted. You were only 20 years old."

"Why did you get back with me? After all this, you let me sleep with you again. Why did you let me start falling in love with you again?”

Bec’s eyes widened with surprise. I knew how she felt. I had no idea I was going to say that until it came out of my mouth. But it was true. My feelings for her were real and I wanted to pursue them. Now we had our past complicating our future.

“Nick.” Bec started to speak and then stopped. “I don’t want you angry with me.”

“I’m not angry with you. I’m disappointed. I’m disappointed in myself. I’ve fucked up my life royally and nothing is ever going to change that.”

“Honestly, Nick, it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. Going to the clinic and aborting our baby and then not being able to tell you. It hurt so much. Every time I saw you I was reminded of what I had done. That's why I pushed you away. It’s taken a long time to get over it. Then when I saw you with Dani, all the memories and hurt came back. She could have been our child.” Bec took a deep breath as she paused. “When you…made your advances…that night…it brought it all back.

I listened attentively, not wanting to interrupt her.

“I always loved you Nick, through everything. Through every fucking asinine thing you did."

I moved over to the couch, sitting at the opposite end from Bec and held my arms out. She shook her head no and turned away. I moved closer and tapped her shoulder. “Bec, please.” She turned and edged close enough for me to pull her in and envelope her in a bear hug. “I’m so sorry for what I’ve put you through. I’m sorry for yelling and not trusting you. I’m sorry for being a fuck-up and an idiot and a jackass. Please, can you forgive me? Can we try again?” I gazed into her eyes, hoping to see acceptance there. “Please?”

Bec shook her head before burying her face in my chest. Her reply came out muffled. “I don't know Nick. I don't know if I can do this again. I love you. I’ve always loved you. But I just don't know.”

"One more chance." I begged. "I'm trying my damnedest to be the best I can be."

"Nick..." Bec began.

But I didn't let her finish. I covered her mouth with mine instead.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dani’s cries woke me out of one of the soundest sleeps I’d had lately. I yawned and stretched, bumping into the warm body curled up at my side.

“Mornin’, darlin’.” I murmured, leaning down to kiss Bec’s forehead. I sauntered down the hall to Dani’s room to retrieve her, quickly changing her diaper before returning to my bedroom. I snuggled back into the still warm sheets, wrapping Dani in my arms as she laid her head on my chest. Bec twisted around, joining our early morning nuzzle session by placing her arms over mine and giving Dani a peck on her cheek.

“Good morning, daddy.” Bec smiled up at me. “Your little girl seems quite happy to be snuggling in the big bed with you.”

I pulled Bec into my embrace so that we were both holding Dani, each with one free arm. “I’m happy snuggling with both my girls. Thank you for giving me another chance.” I ducked my head and stole another kiss. I smiled in satisfaction as I surveyed the scene before me. A gorgeous baby daughter lying peacefully in my arms, a beautiful woman that I was falling in love with curving her body next to mine and a wonderful sun beaming through the window. It was the beginning of a bright new day. Hopefully, the beginning of many bright new days.