I took another look at the tabloids that Bec had spread out on the table. Every headline screamed out something about me and my "illegitimate" daughter, or some woman that had supposedly slept with me and witnessed my "wild" behaviour, or some woman I fucked and supposedly got pregnant. I flipped through them again, quickly, before tossing them back on the table in disgust.

"Every one of these has a story from a different woman, Bec! Jesus, I wonder how much they paid them!"

"It's not really that hard to believe, is it Nick?" Bec was smiling slightly and I stared at her in amazement and confusion.

"All those women? I was horrible and a jerk to all of them? I know I'm not perfect, but, it's a little hard to believe, yeah."

Bec twisted in her chair and turned slightly away from me.

"You don't remember how bad you were, do you?"

"How bad....I wasn't that bad. I got drunk, yes. Drugs,occasionally, yes. Probably slept with a few women I shouldn't have..."

"How many women do you remember sleeping with Nick, honestly?"

"I don't know Bec! I've had my share! I wasn't as bad as what they're saying!" I swept my arm in the direction of the papers. This was getting frustrating and certainly not turning out the way I expected.

Bec got up and wandered onto the patio, crossing her arms over her chest, clasping her shoulders and shivering slightly in the early morning cool.

"What's wrong?" I could tell something had upset her, we had just crossed a line. Now I had to figure out what it was.

"You were bad. Very bad. We thought we were going to lose you...several times." Her shoulders started to shake gently. She was crying. I crossed over to her and touched her elbow. Bec shuddered and took a step away from me. "So many times....so many times...I...I remember getting a call to come and get you, come help you."

"From me?" I questioned, incredulously.

"No...someone at the bar...or the girl who's house you passed out at. They'd call."

"But how...?"

Bec turned around slowly, brushing the tears from her eyes. She reached behind me and plucked my wallet out of my jeans back pocket.

"This" She dropped my open wallet into my hands. I'd written her name down for the contact to call if anything happened to me. Bec, not my parents, not a family member, not my group partners. Bec. I had her pick up after my shit.

"It was always a different girl, you always stoned or drunk, they couldn't move you, but they needed you out. Parents coming home, or boyfriends or fiancees."

"I...I'm sorry." Stunned, I'd moved back to the table to sit down, to gather my thoughts. I rubbed my forehead slowly. I could feel a wicked headache coming on.

"I got calls, girls wanting money for abortions, they must have thought I was your girlfriend or something."

"How many?"

"A couple, a couple girls called and said they were keeping the baby, they needed money, but when I threatened legal action they backed off."

"A...couple?" The words caught in my throat.

Bec chuckled, a hollow sound without any humour. "They never pursued it. I think it's safe to say Dani is your only child."

"I..I...I don't know what to say, Bec." I held my arms out to her, but she shook her head and moved away, sinking into the corner of the living room couch. "I put you through so much and you never said anything."

"What could I say Nick? You were out of it most of the time. And your friends..." She made a "pffffft" sound and a gesture with her hands. "Useless."

"I realize that now."

"I know. You saw the light. You needed to do it yourself and you did."

"So those stories...?"

"I wasn't there, but I recognize two of the girls, I wouldn't be at all surprised that they are true."

"Why didn't anyone say something? Kevin was all over AJ for drinking. Why did you guys let me go on?"

"You weren't quite as bad as AJ. You were getting there." Bec's eyes started to well up with tears again. "You were better on tour, when you were around the guys you seemed to shape up. All hell broke loose when you were alone, on your own."

I held back my own tears. "Like when I was arrested."

Bec nodded slowly. "Yeah. But that was the beginning of your seeing the light."

"Bec I..." I needed to say something, I needed to apologize, but coming up with the right words was very difficult. I walked over to her, trying to find the words, wanting at least to give Bec a hug.

"No Nick..not now. Listen, Dani's crying, go get her."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So that was my morning. Two days after my interview on national television, done to help stop rumours, my private life was all over the fucking tabloids. Stories that apparently weren't all lies for a change. Bec left shortly after I brought Dani down. She wouldn't look at me or talk to me. I kept trying to get her to open up, to apoligize, anything, so this uncomfortable strangeness didn't continue between us.

"I have to go Nick. I just can't do this today."

"Bec...look..all this..it's in the past. I'm not the same guy."

"Nick..not today. Just let me go. I'll see you later."

So Dani was up and she definitely took my mind off worrying about Bec. Her morning wasn't much better than mine. She cried off and on for two hours or so, with me joining her, then she settled back down for a nap. Her fever was back up again and her cheeks were as red as tomatoes. I made a mental note to look the symptoms up in the baby books later. I did a quick dash through the house to clean up any mess before Heidi arrived. I had almost forgotten her interview during the madness of the day. As I was gathering the dirty clothes tossed around the bathroom, I happened to glance in the mirror.

"You look great, Carter. Just fucking great."

I rubbed at my red rimmed eyes, then splashed some cold water on my face. No improvement. I still looked like shit. I'd just tell her I had Dani's cold, if she happened to ask.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Late afternoon, the doorbell rang. A quick peek out the window confirmed that it was Heidi arriving, right on schedule. I swiped my hands on my jeans, rubbed my eyes, then swiped my hands down my thighs again. I could do this. I didn't need Bec. Heidi and I had already met and discussed things. This was a mere formality. Piece of cake.

"Yah, right." I muttered scornfully, to myself.

One more ring, and I came to my senses and answered the door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Good afternoon!" I put on a fake smile and ushered Heidi in, taking her jacket and from her and placing it over a dining room chair. She followed behind me, setting her purse down on the table. I saw her eyes glance over the magazines still scattered on the table. I had forgotten to pick them up during my cleanup.

"Nice." Her mouth turned down to a frown, definite disapproval of what she saw written there.

"Tabloids." I chuckled as I swept them off the table and placed them in my recycle bin. "All lies."

Heidi raised one eyebrow and, I swore for one brief moment she glared at me. "Are they?"

"Um...yeah. Well, anyway...Dani is taking a nap. She's still got a bit of her cold. Can I show you around the house?"

"She's still sick?"

"It's just a cold, little fever. It makes her tired." I explained.

"Poor thing." Heidi sounded sincere, that was good. As long as she like Dani, I didn't really care what her opinion of me was.

"Shall I show you around the house, while she's sleeping?"

"That would be fine."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So I gave her the grand tour, minus Dani's room, and we ended up out on the patio with some soft drinks to continue our chat.

"So those tabloids..." Heidi began.

"Look, I don't want to talk about those, they're garbage, nothing more." I waved my hand in dismissal.

"Do you still behave like that?"

"I said they were lies."

"Nick, you're a young, famous, rich man. I'm sure you've done something tabloid worthy."

"I said I don't want to talk about that. I'm looking after my daughter to the best of my ability, which you will see if you agree to the job. I'm doing the right thing."

"I hope so, she deserves it."

It was my turn to give Heidi a glare. "Yes, she does."

"What about Dani's mother, will she be involved in her care?"

"Dani doesn't have a mother." I barked, maybe a bit too harshly. "That's pretty much all you need to know about that."

Heidi gave me a look, her eyes full of surprise and questions.

"I'm sorry, it's a sore topic with me." I apologized. "Let me go wake Dani, so you two can finally meet."