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Tamara lay on her bed crying. Her life was in such a mess! She couldn't seem to do anything right anymore. The only bright spot in her life was her children. They accepted her as she was. They were toddlers now and busily exploring and touching.

Steven seemed to never be at home. He told Tamara they needed the exta money he made from working overtime but she knew the real reason. He wanted peace from her nagging and complaining. He wanted a loving wife...someone he could hold at the end of the day...someone who could return that love. But medication had robbed Tamara of all her sexual feelings. At least she blamed her lack of desire on the medication. Yet she still wanted to be held and comforted.

Steven had slept at the office several nights, saying he had worked too late to make the long drive home. On those nights, Tamara would pace the floor for hours, afraid...so afraid! Was he at the office or in another woman's arms? Although she tried to rid herself of the thought, it persisted. She would mentally berate herself by saying that she was looking for something to worry about and didn't she have enough to worry about now as it was?

One evening as she was reading the local paper, the word 'Agoraphobia' caught her eye. Beneath the word was a description of the symptoms that went with the disorder. Her heart pounded! They were her symptoms! She read it again. Yes! This is what she had!...Agoraphobia! Reading further she saw a telephone number she could call. She ran to the telephone and dialed. She found herself talking to a psychologist who was conducting a survey on the number of people in her city who suffered from agoraphobia. When Tamara described her symptoms to him, he said he would call on her the following week. For the first time in many months, she felt hope rise up inside her.

She could barely contain her excitement while waiting for Steven to arrive home. She grabbed her boys and held them close. "Mommy's going to be okay", she said. She ran to greet Steven when she heard him at the door. "Oh Steven", she exclaimed, "I have wonderful news!" And she went on to tell him about the article she had read. "That's wonderful news, honey!" he said. But his unspoken thoughts were different. 'I hope this will ease the blow when she discovers I'm in love with another woman!'

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