5 1/2 months later
The turning of March into April; definitely feels like going out like a lamb to me. I smiled as I hummed along to whatever Beck song I was listening to on my custom mix tape and looked around. I had so much in front of me I had to do, yet I was at the computer, thinking up a storm about what I should write�like the dreamer I am. I couldn't help it. I don't know if I should have gone one direction with my college career or another�or even a third option. Turning off the TV, I just decided to haphazardly check my cell phone for any messages and there was a strange one from my mother who said some man left a message on our home phone wanting to speak to me. I wondered if that could be my boyfriend, Clint, just calling the wrong number. Oh well�that doesn't sound like Clint's cell phone number. What the hell? I don't really want to use my roaming minutes either.
Clint and I haven't been very serious, even though we started dating almost 5 months ago. Stopping Breaking Benjamin and calling this number, a chill went through my body and I looked at the cell phone strangely.
"Damn electronics�" I yelled at it as it slightly jumped out of my hand. Maybe it was my imagination.
"What's going on?" my roommate, Andrea, yelled at me.
"Nah, everything's fine," I looked down at the cell phone, flip-part still up and shook out my hand, which was still lightly tingling. I was probably overreacting, it didn't hurt that much. But I dialed the rest of the number, hit send, and got this voice.
"Hello?"
I paused lightly and looked around my desk area, looking for an excuse to just hang up now. It was probably some stupid telemarketer trying to get me to buy some stupid Capital One card. But why would they answer with a 'hello' if it were?
"Uh yes, you called my home residence and asked to call you back A.S.A.P�I'm Sarah-"
"Sarah! Please don't hang up!" I heard the voice becoming more frantic. I started to freak out, who did he think he was?
"Can you please tell me who this is?" I tried to keep my patience with the person on the other line. I don't like to deal with this bullshit and I am not in the mood today.
"Sarah�its Isaac."
My eyes shot open and I immediately got up from my chair, "Excuse me�" as I rushed out of the room.
"What?"
"Not you," I grumbled, shutting the door behind me. I knew my roommates were wondering what drugs I was on at this point, but I couldn't just let Isaac get off the phone�actually, I don't know why I was thinking that. I should let him go, after what he's done to me.
Isaac�oh how I loathe him.
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Sarah...oh how I love her.
I'm starting to wonder how this happened in the first place. It all happened so quickly. It began with the purest intentions. I guess it is my fault. Needless to say, I definitely didn't fall for her first. She fell hard for me, and by the time she was gone...I had nothing left but the desire burning in my heart to have her back.
"So...where is it exactly that you're going?" I asked quietly into the phone, noticing her breath was increasing and there were noises growing in the background.
"Somewhere private so we can actually talk," I was surprised by this response. I thought she would have hung up on me by now.
"Just tell me when you find a quiet spot," I smiled into the phone, bitter and sweet and so in love with her at the memories...
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Flashback
What I saw in front of me was completely and utterly out of the ordinary. As I was just going to put my toothpick down from that delicious sandwich, I saw Mrs. D fall down suddenly when she tripped over a step. All we heard was a yell of agony as Taylor and Fran immediately ran to her aid. All I remember is flashing lights and riding in Leah's car with Sarah and Zac stuffed in the backseat to the hospital. I remember that the sun was very bright in the car, we were following Fran's huge Nissan Pathfinder, and Leah's hair was down, gleaming in the afternoon sunlight. I always had a secret thing for redheads, but damn�she was married. How could she be so young and married? It made me feel even more pathetic about being single for as long as I have.
Escorting ourselves into the Emergency Room of the local hospital, the small entourage split up a little as Tay stayed in the waiting room with the rest of us. It was only Fran and Mrs. D in the back room now and we had to wait. The nurse said she'd let us know what was going on.
Four hours later, we're all getting tired and leaning on the chairs. In the meantime, Fran must have called the whole fam damnily because his niece and nephew, who I learned to be Niccolena and Anthony, rushed in and were immediately escorted back into the other rooms. I looked over at Zac, who was fiddling with his cell phone and I growled over at him, "Turn that thing off. This is a hospital. How old are you?"
"19�or almost," he looked up with a tired look in his eyes, "Besides, Sarah asked me if she could call her Mom and ask her for a ride home."
"Oh�" I looked over at the young brunette who had one of the most tired expressions out of all of us. I think she might have been the one up the longest, "You okay?" I nudged her lightly.
She jumped up, almost in an excited state and looked at me, "Oh�just tired. I've been up since 6 AM."
"Dang," I looked over at Leah, who was pretty much just sitting there patiently even though I knew better. She was anxious to get out of here, but she knew she just couldn't leave us without a ride. Tay was already sprawled out on 2 chairs with a pillow provided by the nurse, soundlessly sleeping away.
Sarah's eyes were all red and puffy and I could tell there was a big red mark from where her hand had been working as a pillow when she was leaning down on the chair. She looked nearly like death, so I gave her my leather jacket and shyly draped it over her shoulders.
"Here�it is starting to get a little chilly out there," I looked at her with soft eyes. The remote, extremely fatigued baby smile she gave me back is worth more than a fortune now, but back then�I wish I would have seen it for more.
End Flashback
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"Hello? Isaac?" I lightly was saying into the phone for what seemed like the tenth time. I think he might have been going into one of those extremely thoughtful moments. He tends to do that.
"Oh�sorry, just thinking�"
What should I expect? He's been like this ever since I've met him. He's always had his head stuck in the clouds somewhere. I always wondered whether or not he liked his dream world better than what he had in real life�
"About what may I question?"
"Since when did you get so formal, Miss?"
"Since I fell for you," I sighed, "But not anymore."
"Why not?"
"We didn't even have anything."
"You didn't even give it a chance."
"I think you have this backwards, Ike," I started to get a little perturbed at what he was telling me, "For your information, I was perfectly willing to wait for you to come around and when you finally did it was after you screwed it up."
"I called to make amends you know."
"Yeah sure you did," I grumbled and rolled my eyes as I sat in a plush chair down in the music department, leaning back and closing my eyes, pretending that this really hadn't happened to me. Why, Ike, why?
"I'm clueless�why is it that you abhor me so much you don't want to talk to me?"
"Why do you think?" I can't believe he was asking me these stupid questions. It's almost like he was a completely different person when he was with me. Whatever he did with me was a complete lie from what he was really like. I would never know�I'm not sure I would ever want to try.
"I know, I know, I was an idiot�"
"Yes, you apologize now, but that doesn't make up for then."
"Why can't we just let it go and try to see each other again?"
"You told me that you wanted to try to earn everything you have, correct?"
"Yes."
"This included the fame and stature that you now possess in the music industry�"
"Correct."
"I would say you've worked hard to get that�wouldn't you?"
"We worked our asses off, I'm sure you're aware of that."
"Well�you need to earn me back," How do I know that he really wants me back? He's never told me that�and I know that for a fact.
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Argh...sorry, but sometimes I feel like it'd be better to get a rash than to talk to her. She damn well knows that I want her back...well yeah, I've never told her, but so what? We've always had that kind of connection that we know each other without ever having to tell each other every little detail...
Well...I know she doesn't think the same way I do, damnit...why do I always assume things about her?
"Sarah, I don't know how to earn you back. I thought you already knew I wanted you back."
"No, you've never told me that..." I heard her pause and I sighed into the phone, "Oh, don't act like it's such torture to talk to me. Are you lying?"
"Why would I lie about that?"
"Because you lied about a lot of things, that's the only thing I know about you, you're a liar and I do not associate with liars."
"Look Sarah, I'm willing to do a lot...I'm not even sure quite how much, to get you back into my life, I just don't know how yet."
"Well you better think about it and then get back to me."
"I will-" I started to pause when I looked at my cell phone and I saw her number blinking.
Damnit...she hung up on me. Why must I love her?
