History Of Spatz
Grant Cathro tells of
how, while mixing acting and writing, he met Lee Pressman: ‘Got involved
in writing sketches for a kids’ TV show called Words Words Words (Thames).
At the rehearsals for this I met Lee Pressman, who had just been given a
commission to write a 10-part comedy. We hit it off at once, he asked me to
collaborate – the result was T-Bag, and it ran for almost ten years! Lee
and I became flavours of the decade at Thames TV, ‘coz T-Bag was such a
monster hit, and when Alan Horrox took over the department (around 1987 I
think) he really championed the pair of us (which was blooming marvellous) and
gave us no end of opportunities to flex our muscles. Spatz was one of
the shows he offered to us. A guy called Andrew Bethell had devised Spatz
as a teen drama, a soap, really. Alan didn’t think that would play. He decided
it sounded more like a sitcom. So he bought the title and the concept off
Andrew and handed the whole project over to Lee and me to develop as a comedy.’ Continued below.
Spatz Series 1 Episode
Guide
Grant Cathro says: ‘Being quite a big-cast-high-budget show, it needed to be made as a
co-production. Suddenly we were both stuck in a windowless room with a Canadian
writer called Terry Saltsman, trying like mad to find common ground. If Series
One is kind of uneven - and it is - it’s because we were pretty much making it
up on the hoof. Other writers submitted scripts which the three of us tore to
shreds and almost entirely rewrote. This is the North American way with ‘team
writing’ - Lee and I never really took to it. But we did our best to battle
through what was a pressureful (but stimulating) time.’
All Series 1 episodes were first shown on Wednesdays at
4:40pm, and lasted 25 minutes.
Note: I’ve included both the official episode summaries,
and memories of the episodes which were kindly been sent to me by visitors.
1.1 Royal Visit
First shown 21/02/90. Written by Grant
Cathro and Lee Pressman
‘It’s opening day at Spatz, London’s latest fast-food
sensation. But with only 4 hours to go, the manager, TJ Strickland, has much on
his plate: the building is half finished and short-staffed, and Mrs. Frapelli,
the owner’s wife, is about to arrive for the grand ribbon-opening ceremony
featuring no ribbon and nothing to cut it with. Yet there’s even more chaos on
the menu when an uninvited guest turns up and tries to put a squeeze on the
festivities.’
Guest cast:
Dave Atkins – Morris
Also been in The
Bill, Bergerac, Lovejoy
James London – Gilbert
Kate Harper – Mrs. Frapelli
Also been in Space
Precinct, Bergerac, Batman
1.2 Sound Of Muzak
First shown 28/02/90. Written by Grant
Cathro and Lee Pressman
‘Heavy metal man Vince Powers quickly changes his tune
when he realises that the girl he’s got a crush on, Chloe, is a Mozart freak.
Music of another sort is driving the staff out of their minds – it’s the
brain-numbingly jolly Spatz jingle which Karen has had committed to a loop tape
and insists on playing all day long. Meanwhile a customer called Mr. Fox loses
his wallet at the same time as Vince becomes inexplicably well-off.’
Spatz takes on a new employee, Toni Gordon, in this
episode.
Stephen summarises the episode as follows: ‘A man complains
that he has lost his wallet in the restaurant and Karen is convinced that Vince
stole it. She has no evidence of this, but simply doesn’t like him. She ends up
sacking him, and then it turns out that it was actually Karen who had taken the
wallet! The man gets his wallet back, none the wiser to all the trouble and
mayhem he has caused, and Karen is forced to say those two little words ‘I’m
sorry’ to Vince. Who, of course, milks this for all its worth!’
Joseph recalls that during Vince’s absence,
Karen hires an inferior worker who hands out too much change.
Guest cast:
Samantha Janus – Toni Gordon
Also
been in The Bill, EastEnders, Babes In The Wood
Julia Sawalha – Chloe Fairbanks
Also
been in Press Gang,
Absolutely Fabulous
John Rapley – Mr. Fox
Also been in Goodnight
Sweetheart, The Avengers, White Hunter Black Heart
Watch a
6:46 clip from this episode on YouTube
1.3 Toni’s Tall Tale
First shown 7/03/90. Written by Grant Cathro
and Lee Pressman
‘Toni Gordon is a girl with a problem. Two problems, actually: one, her mother and two, her father. The reason? In a moment of crisis and low self-esteem she wrote and told her Scottish parents that she’s been promoted to the position of manager at Spatz. When Mr. and Mrs. Gordon unexpectedly turn up, Toni’s forced to take control of the situation – and the restaurant. Meanwhile, Dexter loses all control in his bid to be the first employee to sell 500 hamburgers and win a corporate trip to Paris.’
Guest cast:
Samantha Janus – Toni Gordon
Jenny Lee – Mrs. Gordon
Also been in Holby City, Hot Metal
Jake D’Arcy – Mr. Gordon
Also been in Hamish Macbeth, Lovejoy,
The Bill, Gregory’s Girl
Mary Duddy – Nun
Also been in The March, The
Temptation Of Eileen Hughes
Jeremy Stockwell –Customer
Also been in T-Bag, Kavanagh QC, The Infinite
Worlds Of HG Wells
Simon Slater – Mr. Peters
Also been in The Bill, Lovejoy,
Casualty
Watch
a 1:21 clip from this episode on YouTube
1.4 Karen’s Birthday
First shown 14/03/90. Written by Grant
Cathro and Lee Pressman
‘Karen takes a tip from the Spatz Tokyo outlet and
introduces an early morning exercise programme designed to keep the
hard-pressed staff on their toes. After Karen has publicly humiliated Vince and
Jo during one of the workouts, the duo get together and not only discover that
it’s Karen’s birthday, but also that she has had a ‘nose job’. They decide to
organise a knees-up their boss will never forget (including a birthday card
with Pinocchio on and full of nose-related puns). Meanwhile, TJ is on crutches
after pulling a muscle at the exercise class and now lives in horror at the
prospect of letting down his hockey team.’
Jo Collins is introduced in this episode.
Guest cast:
Peter MacQueen – Police Constable
Also been in Cover
Her Face, Happy Families
1.5 Local Hero
First shown 21/03/90. Written by JD Smith
‘While Karen racks her brains dreaming up yet more
publicity gimmicks, TJ’s much-derided first aid class gets a shot in the arm
when Lily uses what she learnt to save a choking customer’s life. Karen quickly
sees a chance for some free newspaper coverage and plans to exploit Lily’s
heroic action for all its worth. There’s just one problem: Lily adamantly
refuses to cooperate because her dad has no idea she’s working here and would
be appalled if he did. But when did Karen ever take no for an answer?’
Guest cast:
Dennis Matsuki – Mr. Quang
Also been in The Bill, The
Professionals, Notting Hill
Bill Gavin – Old Man
Also been in Boon,
2point4 Children, Staggered
Betty Romaine – Old Woman
Also been in The Bill, Agony, Teenage
Health Freak
Paul Bigley – Customer
Also been in Shakespeare
In Love, Men Behaving Badly, Ted & Ralph
Watch a
1:22 clip from this episode on YouTube
1.6 Death Of A Spatzman
First shown 04/04/90. Written by JD Smith
The title parodies Arthur Miller’s play Death Of A
Salesman.
‘Dexter sets his sights high when TV soap star Cindy Stewart
blows in for a bite at the restaurant. The question is, will she swallow
fast-talking Dexter’s outrageous claim that he’s not really a greasy nobody but
is in fact the son of the Senegalese ambassador? Meanwhile, TJ is having major
paycheque problems when the central Spatz computer goes haywire and issues a
grave announcement – that TJ is dead.’
Guest cast:
Emma Davies – Cindy Stewart
Also been in Cambridge Spies, Boon,
Doctors
Roland Oliver – Telephone Voices
Also been in The Bill, Eastenders,
Holby City, Bad Girls
1.7 The Wild Brunch
First shown 11/04/90. Written by Vito
Viscomi
‘A gang of teenage hoodlums starts hanging around the
restaurant and Karen orders TJ to get rid of them. But when the self-styled
Diablos return it’s with revenge on their minds. When it is revealed that Vince
used to belong to the gang, his loyalties are sorely tested as he comes to
wrestle with the problem.’
Guest cast:
Damien Williams – Lumpy
Neville Watson – Blood
Also been in Terry On The Fence, The
Comic Strip
Gavin Watson – Twister
Also been in The
Bill, Swing, The Comic Strip
Nicholas Greenshields – Boy
Also been in Cole
Gladis Robinson – Old Lady
Also been in The
Secret Diary Of Adrian Mole Aged 13 3/4, The Woman In White
1.8 Greenpieces
First shown 18/04/90. Written by David Joss
Buckley
‘A protest group calling itself Planetwatch pickets the
restaurant, ruining Karen’s quarterly profit figures. It may be friendly to the
environment, but Planetwatch is downright hostile to Spatz – that is, until its
ringleader Sebastian gets the hots for Jo. It takes a special package, sent
from Granny Strickland to TJ, finally to give the protesters some food for
thought.’
A very topical episode, in addressing environmentalist
opposition to fast-food chains. Jo mentions an upcoming date with Sebastian at
the beginning of the next episode.
Guest cast:
Jeremy Gilley – Sebastian
Also been in Lovejoy, Bergerac
Chris Sanders – Customer
Also been in Rumpole Of The Bailey
Andy Laycock – Customer
Also been in The Bill, Lipstick On
Your Collar
1.9 Clowning Around
First shown 25/04/90. Written by Grant
Cathro and Lee Pressman
‘TJ conjures up a plan for Spatz to host kids’ parties and
reckons he’s come up with a wizard scheme. But as usual (since it wasn’t her idea)
Karen is deeply unimpressed and soon the whole enterprise seems doomed to
failure. But when Head Office green-lights the project and commends TJ for his
initiative, Karen sees red and decides to sink the party plan once and for all.
Meanwhile, the staff work their magic on Stanley to get him ready for his first
date.’
This was a visionary episode, tactfully addressing the
problems of meeting people on the internet. There is a script summary for this
episode on the Episode
Summaries Page.
Guest cast:
Chris Langham – Marvin The Magnificent
Also been in Roy Mallard, Kiss Me
Kate, The Thick Of It
Clare Byam Shaw – Pippa
Also been in Family Affairs, Bergerac,
Casualty, Lord Elgin And Some Stones Of No Value
Jade Magri – Henny
Also been in Mike & Angelo, The
Nanny, The Orchid House
Zoë Hodges – Elektra
Also been in Virtual
Sexuality, 84 Charing Cross Road
1.10 The Strike
First shown 25/04/90. Written by Wilson
Coneybeare
‘The staff of Spatz is revolting. When Vince discovers
that rival hamburger chain Blimpy’s is paying their staff 10p more an hour than
Spatz, it’s a case of down with the pickle choppers and up with the workers
when Karen lets it be known that she’d sooner throw herself into the deep fat
fryer than pay them more money. Agitprop Sebastian is back to join the strike
force and picket the scabs – and Jo gets to see her sweetheart in an altogether
new light.’
The staff goes on
strike and protests outside Spatz, forcing Karen and TJ to work behind the
counter. They squabble, and Karen tries to fire the milkshake machine when it
showers her in chocolate. You can listen the preview of this episode featured
at the end of the previous show here.
Guest cast:
Jeremy Gilley – Sebastian
Geoffrey Beevers – City Gent
Also been in Dalziel
And Pascoe, Red Dwarf, Coronation Street
Ann Wrigg – Elderly Lady
Also been in Bless
Me Father, To Serve Them All My Days
1.11 Sing For Your Supper
First shown 02/05/90. Written by Terry
Saltsman
‘The staff are used to Karen calling the tune, but there’s
dischord in the ranks when she instructs the staff to sing out the customers’
orders. Will Debbie and Derek ever make sweet music again, or will her hot date
with good-looking Terry hit the right note?’
Guest cast:
Emile Charles – Terry
Also
been in Like It Is, The Fruit Machine, Red Dwarf &
he’s Craig Charles’ brother
John Abbot – Shop Manager
Also been in Kappatoo,
Science Fiction Theatre, The Tempest
1.12 Smart Cookies
First shown 09/05/90. Written by Terry
Saltsman
‘A battle of wits is in danger of escalating into an
all-out war when TJ challenges Ivor Willis, the manager of Blimpy’s, to a
friendly trivia quiz. With secret weapon Lily up their sleeve, the Spatz team
is confident of blasting the Blimpettes clean out of the water – until Lily’s
grandmother falls ill and she has to go away for the week. Meanwhile, Jo’s
part-time jobs threaten to knock the stuffing out of her.’
Guest cast:
Paul Grunert – Ivor Willis
Also been in The Bill, Goodnight
Sweetheart, Rumpole Of The Bailey
Jonathan Chater – Blimpy Boy
John Ward – Professor Billy
Also
been on Motormouth,
GMTV, Kilroy – he’s an inventor
1.13 Bye Bye TJ
First shown 16/05/90. Written by Terry
Saltsman
‘TJ gets promoted. It seems like great news, but the
downside is he’s got to return to Canada (that’s somewhere just north of the USA).
For Karen this is the upside; that is, until TJ’s replacement arrives, in the
shape of Melvin Frapelli, slobbish and conniving nephew of the Managing
Director. Even Karen’s got to admit that things were better before. But how to
unseat golden boy Frapelli and reinstate Thomas Jefferson Strickland? That is
the question. And it’s a sticky one.’
Ellis says: ‘The staff hold a Canadian theme party for TJ’s
leaving bash, involving dressing as Mounties, moose etc. Jo swoops in to kiss
TJ, and somehow manages to transfer her chewing gum, which he thanks her for,
then spits out and gives back.’
Guest cast:
Dan Redican – Melvin Frapelli
Also been in Due South, The
Twilight Zone
Stuart Fox – Man
Also been in Casualty,
The Vice, The Scarlet Pimpernel
Graham Chinn – Delivery Man
Also been in The
Bill, Lovejoy, Poirot
Spatz Series 2 Episode
Guide
Grant Cathro says: ‘The show did very well in the ratings and received a second series
commission. This time it was not going to be a co-production but Thames TV’s
own baby. Lee and I were given control over the whole thing. A few other
writers contributed scripts, which, naturally, we tore to shreds and almost
entirely rewrote ...’
All Series 2 episodes were first shown on Thursdays at
4:40pm, and lasted 25 minutes.
2.1 Star Attraction
First shown 03/01/91. Written by Grant
Cathro and Lee Pressman
‘When new girl Freddy joins the crew, Dexter quickly takes her under his wing. The Williams’ silver tongue is quickly in top gear, and he shamelessly declares himself ‘friend of the stars’ ... however when Karen takes him up on his word and instructs him to invite his “best buddy” soccer superstar Gary Lineker to visit Spatz as a publicity gimmick, Dexter comes to realise he’s gone and put his foot in his mouth.’
When TJ asks what
would happen to the 2000 specially-made badges if ‘Barry Binliner’ (Karen’s
name for Gary Lineker) doesn’t show up, Karen replies, ‘Stick them into Mr.
Namedropper downstairs!’ Thanks to Ellis for mentioning this.
Guest cast:
Rhys Ifans – Dave
Also been in Notting Hill, Kevin
And Perry Go Large, The 51st State
Jo Unwin – Mother
Also been in Press
Gang, Casualty, Inspector Morse
Victoria Shalet – Girl (Emily Jane Mudge)
Also been in The Queen’s Nose, The
Bill, Jonathan Creek & is gorgeous Picture
Matthew Boyer – Fan
Gary Lineker – Himself
Also been in the England football team &
TV adverts for Walker’s Crisps
There is a script summary for this episode on the Episode Summaries Page.
2.2 Karen’s Mother
First shown 10/01/91. Written by Grant
Cathro and Lee Pressman
‘Karen finds herself on the horns of a dilemma when, in order to placate her pushy mother, she announces that she’s engaged to T J. Unfortunately TJ’s new girlfriend gets to hear about this unforgivable chicanery, and very soon the long claws are out – and slashing. Meanwhile, the new Spatz food delivery service (a.k.a. a clanking pushbike with a slipping chain) is driving the staff to distraction.’
This episode marked Lily’s only appearance in Series 2. It
also featured the first appearance of Julie, TJ’s girlfriend.
Ellis remembers that this episode features a kiss between TJ
and Karen, as they try to persuade Karen’s mother of their engagement! (Another
occurs in the final episode, under the mistletoe, with TJ dressed as Father
Christmas.) And also, that ‘in the course of this episode, TJ manages to be
assaulted by both Julie (who I think smashes a vase over his head, believing
him to be cheating on her with Karen) and Karen’s mother. He tells Karen that
his convincing performance as her fiancé is deserving of an Academy Award.’
Guest cast:
Helen Horton – Natalie Hansson
Also been in The Bill, T-Bag, The
Benny Hill Show, Superman III
Catherine Russell – Julie
Also been in Poirot, An Unsuitable
Job For A Woman
Elizabeth Stewart – Customer
Also been in Are You Being Served?
2.3 Time And Efficiency
First shown 24/01/91. Written by Grant
Cathro and Lee Pressman
‘A time and efficiency expert is called in to streamline the Spatz operation. The obsessive Mr. Pashby’s eyes rollout his head when he arrives at a particularly chaotic moment, and his recommendations prove to be horrendously far-reaching – horrendous for the staff, that is. So Vince and Dexter make some small amendments to Pashby’s report, which Karen insists are carried out to the letter by TJ – with surreal results. Amidst all this, love flourishes: Freddy and her building-site boyfriend, Dave, cement their relationship.’
This episode features the return of Dave, Freddy’s
boyfriend, from Star Attraction.
Guest cast:
Alex Bartlette – Mr. Pashby
Also been in T-Bag
Rhys Ifans – Dave
There is a script summary for this episode on the Episode Summaries Page,
where links can also be found to YouTube clips from this episode.
2.4 The Poster
First shown 31/01/91. Written by Grant
Cathro and Lee Pressman
‘Karen seeks advice from TJ on how to win herself a husband - but not just any old husband: she’s got her sights set at the top of the tree, for multi- millionaire Spatz tycoon Frapelli is in town ... and according to the grapevine, between wives at the moment. Behind the counter, there’s rivalry of another sort afoot, for head office has just announced a corporate competition to find the Ideal Spatz Employee, and soon poster fever runs rampant and friendships are forgotten.’
‘The staff are all completely shocked when one
morning Karen walks in and is completely nice to everyone! She calls them her
‘angels’ and tells them to keep up the excellent work they are all doing. When
TJ asks her why she is in such a good mood, she explains that Louis Frapelli,
who is the owner of Spatz, is getting divorced from his wife, and Karen thinks
that she is in with a chance of marrying him and becoming the ‘Second Lady of
Spatz’. Also in the episode, there is a competition running where all the employees
are in with a chance of starring in a promotional poster campaign, and the
winner receives £200. The rivalry between the staff to win ends up driving them
all apart (there’s a wicked cat fight between Debbie and Freddy!) but they make
up in the end.’ Thank you very much to Stephen for this much-appreciated
information, which describes this episode. Thanks to Ellis for remembering that
also in this episode, ‘When Karen
was hoping to be the next Mrs Frapelli, TJ advised her to serenade him outside
his hotel window. She went along in a glamorous red dress and with a Spanish
guitar, but ended up being savaged by guard-dogs.’
Guest cast:
Kate Riding – Angela
Also been in Brookside,
Heartbeat
Clive Rowe – Coachdriver
Also been in The Story Of Tracy Beaker,
The Honeytrap
2.5 Fire Alarm
First shown 07/02/91. Written by Grant
Cathro and Lee Pressman
‘Vince is absent, so TJ persuades his girlfriend Julie to replace him for the day. Sparks fly when Karen gets to hear about it, for she’s taken a personal dislike to the woman who’s ‘so wet there’s a salmon leaping up her dress’ and is determined to get her fired even quicker than she got started. And speaking of fires, there’s trouble smouldering when Karen’s new cheap and cheerful alarm system starts playing up.’
Ellis describes the episode as follows: ‘Karen set fire to the restaurant by
jamming a bap in the toaster [while working late one night] - something a
newspaper horoscope predicted she would do. She was rescued by TJ’s girlfriend,
and emerged from the building carrying the fish tank.’
Guest cast:
Catherine Russell – Julie
Kenny Ireland – Johnnie
Also been in Hamish Macbeth, House
Of Cards, Drop The Dead Donkey
Denise Coffey – Mildred
Also been in The Tomorrow People, T-Bag,
Saving Grace
There is a script summary for this episode on the Episode Summaries Page.
2.6 The Siege
First shown 14/02/91. Story by David Joss
Buckley. Written by Grant Cathro and Lee Pressman
‘One by one, the staff and management of Spatz are mysteriously vanishing. But there’s nothing supernatural about the armed robber who finds himself having to take more and more people hostage in a failed robbery bid. The big question: is the Twitching Man really a dangerous armed robber, or is he just a jerk with a courgette for a gun?’
Guest cast:
Steve Steen – The Twitching Man
Also been in Press Gang, Blackadder
The Third, The Suicidal Dog
Michael Bertenshaw – Trevor
Also been in The Bill, Casualty,
Doctors
George Sweeny – The Inspector
Also been in The Bill, Return Of
The Saint, Minder, The Sweeney
Amy Melhuish – Girl
Also been in Casualty, B&B,
Ball-Trap On The Cote Sauvage
Watch a 3:30 clip from this episode
on YouTube
2.7 Debbie’s Wedding
First shown 21/02/91. Written by Grant
Cathro and Lee Pressman
‘Wedding bells herald a ding-dong between Debbie and
Derek, but the only bells Vince can hear are the ones ringing up a fat profit
in his cash register shaped head. He stands to make a killing if he can
persuade Debbie’s mother to let him handle the reception do. But first, he’s
got to persuade Debbie’s mother to let her daughter get married in the first
place.’
This episode missed being shown on Valentine’s Day by just
a week!
Ellis says: ‘The catering was provided by Vince’s dad, with
his burger cart. I also think this was the only episode that didn’t feature
Karen at all (she was away at a conference in Spain).’
Guest cast:
Dona Croll – Mrs. Wesley
Also been in The Bill, Casualty,
Gimme Gimme Gimme, Family Affairs
Sally Sagoe – Mrs. Pewley
Also been in The Tomorrow People, EastEnders
Catherine Russell – Julie
Gordon Rimes – Bert
Trevor Peacock – Mr. Powers
Also been in T-Bag, The Vicar Of
Dibley, Bugs, Mel Gibson’s Hamlet
2.8 Talent Contest
First shown 28/02/91. Story by Jim Eldridge.
Written by Grant Cathro and Lee Pressman
‘TJ incurs the wrath of Karen when he allows a local talent show to be staged at Spatz.’
Guest cast:
Allan Corduner – Rex
Also been in The Bill, Harry
Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets, Trust
Hermione Norris – Wendy
Also been in The Bill, Casualty,
Lucky Jim, Cold Feet
Sophie Okonedo – Kim
Also been in The Bill, Casualty,
Clocking Off, Spooks
Victoria Shalet – Emily Jane Mudge
Tricia Kelly – Mother
Also been in The Bill, Spin City,
My Family
Seeta Indrani – Marjorie
Also
been The Bill, Casualty, Footballers’ Wives. More info here.
2.9 Things That Go…
First shown 07/03/91. Story by David Joss
Buckley. Written by Grant Cathro and Lee Pressman
‘Weird happenings
abound and the staff are freaking out. Can it be true? That the restaurant,
built on the site of an ancient graveyard, is being haunted by spirits who have
an aversion to the smell of fried onions? There’s only one way to find out -
stage an all-night vigil. But tonight’s the night Karen and TJ are off to a
fancy dress party...’
2.10 Charlie
First shown 14/03/91. Story by David
Stafford. Written by Grant Cathro and Lee Pressman
‘It never rains but it pours: on the day an important food
critic’s arriving, the Spatz delivery van has got itself lost and now there’s
no food to critique; Stanley’s pet ducklings are on the rampage; the electrical
circuits have blown a fuse; Vince’s twin brother electrician doesn’t know an
amp from a watt; and the mysterious lost boy called Charlie who’s right at the
centre of it all, and who is lapping up the three ring circus, turns out to be
the food critic’s son.’
The fact that David Stafford, normally in charge of music,
wrote the story for this episode, suggests that working on Spatz was an
involving and enjoyable experience for all concerned.
According to Ellis: ‘When TJ asks Charlie for his name, he
gives it as Charlie M Hudson. “What’s the M for?” asks TJ. “It’s a motorway
between London and Bristol,” comes the reply.’
Guest cast:
Michael Bertenshaw – Trevor
Belinda Sinclair – Mum
Also been in Casualty, Family
Affairs, Heartbeat
Stephen Pollard – Charlie
Ian Talbot – Building-Site Worker
Also been in Casualty, B&B,
As Time Goes By
2.11 Loot
First shown 21/03/91. Written by Grant
Cathro and Lee Pressman
‘Everybody’s losing it today: Karen can’t find her contact
lenses, the bank manager’s heart is gone completely to ‘The Magnificent Ms.
Hansson’, and Freddy’s cool vanishes when she accidentally mislays £3000 of
Spatz’s money. Not even intergalactic superhero Captain Electric (a man who has
clearly lost his mind) can locate its whereabouts. Freddy decides to take
drastic action by contacting a nefarious loan shark and borrowing another £3000
to satisfy the bank. Then she loses that, as well...’
Guest cast:
Duncan Preston – Peter Jonathan
Also been in The Bill, Casualty,
Press Gang, Dinnerladies
Danny John Jules – Captain Electric
Also been in The Bill, Red Dwarf,
The Tomorrow People
Anthony O’Donnell – Danny Bunce
Also been in The Bill, T-Bag, Secrets
And Lies
There is a script summary for this episode on the Episode Summaries Page.
2.12 From Russia With Love
First shown 28/03/91. Written by Grant
Cathro and Lee Pressman
‘The Russians are coming! - so hollers Karen when a delegation
arrives from Moscow with a view to picking up the Spatz franchise and
introducing the concept of food poisoning to the USSR. Desperate to impress the
visitors, Karen is agog to find that TJ has gone to pieces. The reason?
He’s just been given the heave-ho by Julie, and nothing can console him.
Meanwhile, something smells decidedly off when Vince gets involved in some
under-the-counter perfume deals, and an unlikely romance blossoms over the hot
grill.’
‘The Cold War is over, darling! Dexter Williams will melt your
heart!’ – Dexter to one of the delgates
Guest cast:
Libby Morris – Nadia Kitchenko
Also been in Space Patrol, Casualty, Mike
& Angelo
Joanna Roth – Alexandria Kitchenko
Also been in Holby City, Boon,
Sliding Doors
Campbell Morrison – Boris
Also been in The Bill, Casualty,
EastEnders, Eldorado
Megan Kelly – Woman
Also been in T-Bag
Adrian Kay – Customer
2.13 Takeover
First shown 04/04/91. Written by Grant
Cathro and Lee Pressman
‘The staff of Spatz turn green, but not with envy: they’ve
all become Blimpettes. The nightmare scenario has happened: inveterate gambler
Louis Frapelli has been beaten in a poker game by rival restaurateur Roland
Blimpy, and now the chips are down because Spatz was put up as the stake. A new
colour scheme heralds the arrival of a new boss, the loathsome, gloating Ivor
Willis, who takes a special delight in humiliating TJ by demoting him to humble
onion chopper. However, Vince reckons there may yet be a way of turning the
tables.’
Here is Joseph’s summary of the episode: ‘TJ lost a bet with the Blimpy’s manager
and Spatz was turned into Blimpy’s; but then TJ made a bet – who could eat the
most chocolate éclairs – and he won, and Spatz was brought back to its original
state.’
This episode marked the return of local Blimpy manager
Ivor Willis, and the first appearance of Derek, Debbie’s partner.
Guest cast:
James Saxon – Roland Blimpy
Also been in T-Bag, Casualty, McCallum,
Lovejoy
Paul Grunert – Ivor Willis
David Harewood – Derek Pewley
Also been in The Bill, Casualty,
The Vice, Babyfather, A&E, Press Gang & had his own ITV1
ident.
There is a script summary for this episode on the Episode Summaries Page.
Spatz Series 3 Episode
Guide
Grant Cathro says: ‘By the time we got to series three, Lee and I (for better or for worse!)
were writing all the scripts.’
All Series 3 episodes were first shown on Fridays at
4:40pm, and lasted 25 minutes.
3.1 High Flier
First shown 28/02/92
‘Dexter sucks up to a customer and before you know it, has
the offer of a high-flying new job: as delivery boy for B. Bumble’s Pizza
Parlour. Meanwhile, Vince persuades Karen to buy up a ton of toy hamburgers as
giveaway gifts, but omits to give away the fact that Mr. Bappy The Cheesy
Chappy and his clockwork companions have just recently fallen off the back of a
lorry.’
3.2 Witness
First shown 06/03/92
‘The betting shop across the mall [named Grant Lee
Bookmakers] is raided and Freddy almost thwarts the escape of the man in
motorbike leathers who brandishes a gun and hares off. Freddy’s proclaimed the
heroine of the day, but quickly comes to realise that as the only witness, she
could soon be in for an unwanted visit. Then a man in a crash helmet starts
hanging around in the mall... Meanwhile, Karen’s latest coup involves Brewster
Dwight of the American Tourist Office, coach loads of culturally-starved Yanks,
and an authentic English eatery called Ye Olde Spatz.’
Guest cast:
Matt Zimmerman – Brewster Dwight
Also been in T-Bag, Mike &
Angelo, Thunderbirds, UFO
3.3 Tango
First shown 13/03/92
‘When it comes out that Spatz employee Stanley and Blimpy kid Margaret are partners at a ballroom dancing contest, Ivor Willis is round stirring trouble - and soon the two rival hamburger chains are up against each other in a dance contest of their own, with big money and reputations at stake. Amidst all of this, Karen has discovered that her idol Frapelli is an exotic bird fanatic and spends a fortune on a rare parrot in a bid to gain his affections. Unfortunately someone left the window open ...’
Guest cast:
Paul Grunert – Ivor Willis
Ann Gosling – Margaret Scott
Also been in Next Of Kin, Jim’s
Gift
Caroline Ryder – Girl
Also been in Truckers, Inspector
Morse
Nicholas Parsons – Himself
TV and radio presenter (Just A Minute,
Call My Bluff). Also been in Kappatoo, Cluedo, Docotor
Who Website
3.4 Extortion
First shown 20/03/92
‘It’s smiles all the way at Spatz, as Karen instigates a
new initiative whereby any employee caught not beaming cheesily at the
customers will have their pay docked. But the grins quickly dry up when a
gruesome bunch of mobsters appear in T J’s office and try to extort money out
of him. But Thomas Jefferson Strickland is not about to be intimidated by the
likes of Horace Flint and his blockhead cronies. However, he is about to be
duffed up ...’
Spatz is
flooded (thanks to Amanda for remembering about this), when one of the mobsters
punctures the water cooler, in this episode.
Joseph
remembers that ‘When Karen catches the staff wearing fake grins, she tears them
off one at a time, shouting ‘Take those things off now!’, just before a brick
crashes through the window.’
Also, Ellis
recalls that ‘TJ had just come
back from holiday with a really bad moustache, but had to shave it off when he
was beaten up and half of it seemed to fall off!’ And, at the end of the episode, ‘Karen faints from the smell of garlic on
everyone’s breath (revenge for her forcing them to smile at the customers)!’
Guest cast:
Richard O’Callaghan – Horace Flint
Also been in McCallum, Red Dwarf:
The Movie, Carry On Loving
Leigh Funnelle – Amanda Quince
Also been in Fever Pitch, Spooks
Alan Bennion – Philip
Also been in B&B, Doctor Who,
Psychomania
Phil Atkinson – Manfred
Also been in The Bill, Poirot,
Birds Of A Feather
Anthony Benditti – Vicar
Andrew Jarvis – Bald Man
Also been in The Wars Of The Roses
There is a script summary for this episode on the Episode Summaries Page.
3.5 The Curse Of Karen
First shown 27/03/92
‘Karen gets tough with a pair of loopy bag ladies who are creating
mayhem in the restaurant and summarily throws them out into the mall. One of
them puts a curse on Karen, who is unmoved by the old woman’s rantings.
However, the curse gives Vince a very nifty idea of how to get Karen off their
backs for a spell. Meanwhile, TJ helps rescue the Saturday morning TV kids’
favourite Lenny’s Lunchtime Laugh-In from the rain, by inviting the
television crew to stage the show inside the restaurant.’
Guest cast:
Denise Coffey – Mildred
Anna Wing – Lou
Also been in The Bill, Casualty,
EastEnders, Providence
Geoffrey Swann – Businessman
Also been in Poirot, Second
Thoughts, Seeing Red
Jan Ravens – Pippa Dee
Impressionist, also heard on 2DTV, Dead
Ringers, Spitting Image. Also been in Doctors, Midsomer
Murders, B&B, One Foot In The Grave
Benjamin Hallam – Craig
Lucy Briers – Hayley
Also been in The Bill, Red Dwarf,
Pride And Prejudice & she’s Richard Briers’ daughter
Terry Hall and Lenny The Lion – Themselves
Ventriloquist and puppet, seen on BBC from 1956.
There is a script summary for this episode on the Episode Summaries Page.
3.6 Driving Miss Wesley
First shown 03/04/92
The episode’s title parodies the film Driving Miss
Daisy.
‘Derek has been driving Debbie up the wall again. More
correctly, Debbie’s been learning to drive and Derek’s been learning how not to
teach her. The fighting reaches a head when Debbie slams the brakes on
their grand affair - and starts seeing someone else in her lunch breaks.
Meanwhile, the staff earn extra money by assembling Christmas crackers, and T J
and Karen become attached to one another when an experiment with a set of
handcuffs goes horribly wrong.’
‘The Spatz staff make Christmas crackers, but Stanley forgets to put
the bangers in and they have to start again. Thanks to Joseph for this episode
memory. Ellis recalls that in the same episode, ‘Debbie’s boyfriend Derek
(working as a security guard) manages to handcuff TJ and Karen together - even a
chainsaw can’t separate them. They end up riding the Circle Line on the Tube
all night, although TJ wanted to play squash and Karen was supposed to attend
the Deep Fat Fryer of the Year Competition at Earl’s Court. The handcuffs key
turned up in a cracker at the end.’
Guest cast:
Denyse Alexander
Also been in Casualty,
Midsomer Murders, Goodnight Mister Tom
David Harewood – Derek Pewley
John Grillo – Stubbs
Also been in Mike
& Angelo, Blackadder II, Lovejoy, Cracker
Roger Monk – Burglar
Also been in The Fifth Element, The
Krays
William Vanderpuye – Driving Instructor
Also been in Casualty, Minder,
Jonathan Creek, Down
There is a script summary for this episode on the Episode Summaries Page.
3.7 Poetry And Music
First shown 10/04/92
‘Vince is in love. She came into his life and she stole his heart - and also, apparently, his tongue, since Vince can’t summon up the courage to speak to her. Then when he recovers his voice, he doesn’t know what to say with it. The reason? She’s a university student of English majoring in poetry, and the only rhymes Vince knows are the ones scratched on the back of the lavatory door. Upstairs in the office, Karen draws up plans to rid the mall of buskers.’
Guest cast:
Chloe Annet – Donna Edwards
Also been in Red Dwarf, Crime
Traveller
Alan Cox – Graham
Also been in Casualty, Miami Vice,
Mrs. Dalloway
Alice Douglas – Friend
Tom Mannion – Busker
Also been in The Bill, Mike &
Angelo, Brookside, Return Of The Jedi
John Bardon – Inspector Platt
Also been in Dad’s Army, Only
Fools And Horses, EastEnders
There is a script summary for this episode on the Episode Summaries Page.
Questions?
Spatz co-writer Grant Cathro is happy to receive any fan
questions about the series. Email
me and I will pass them on. Below are those which have been answered so
far.
Where did the name Spatz come from?
(Stephen)
‘The title survived
the development work Lee [Pressman] and I did from Andrew Bethell’s original
concept of Spatz as a teen soap. In his version, the restaurant was a
1930s themed burger bar (Spatz were black & white leather shoes of the
period). We decided to dump all of this, because we didn’t like it. We felt the
show would hit home far better if the place looked like any old branch of
Wimpys or McDonalds. This made the title ‘Spatz’ seem redundant... except we’d
got used to calling the show by this name and had grown quite fond of it. Good
titles being very hard to come up with, keeping it also saved us some headaches.
Then it struck us that Spatz could be used in another sense: a ‘spat’ also
means a ‘small fight’ or ‘heated disagreement’ - so Spatz might just as well
mean: ‘lots of squabbling and cruelty’ - perfection!’
Why did Spatz end? (Stephen)
‘As ever, there’s no easy answer to this. I’ve
been involved in a number of big hit shows over the years, and every so often
the axe comes down and it seems inexplicable … The ratings were astronomical
for Spatz - at one point I believe it smashed all
ITV records in getting what they call a ‘75% share’ of the viewers. A figure like this would be impossible now. Then, suddenly, it’s
‘chop’ and you’re history. The truth is, it’s all down to the Executive
Producers, Heads of Departments, and all these kinds of people; humble writers
like us never really get a look in. So it’s a mixture of internal politics,
changes at the top (new Heads of Departments take over and don’t necessarily
want to inherit somebody else’s success, they want to make their own successes,
and that means ‘the boot’ - it’s a tough hard world, and you’ve just got to
take it on the chin - be glad you were able to get to 33 episodes and not get
the plug pulled on you after 6!)’
Any chance Spatz will come back on air,
with new episodes being made? (Sid)
‘I’d like to think the show has stood the test of time, and a viable
format will always be a viable format - but life moves on. If a commissioning
editor were to say to me: “resurrect Spatz?” I’d leap at the chance
because I always felt we could have wrung a lot more out of the idea than just
33 eps. Inevitably it would mean starting out fresh, though. Times do change,
and whilst there was nothing especially time-specific about the show (it wasn’t
satire, for instance) there would probably be less 1990s ‘cut and thrust’
(expressed mainly through Karen’s ultra-obsession about Bottom Line Figures)
and more New Millennium paranoia. This would be nothing but a good thing.
So I guess the real
answer is: yes, it could work again but it would need to be different. My
main goal would be to rid any new show of this puerile kids’ TV desperation to
be ‘cool’.’
Having since watched
re-runs of Moonlighting [a 1980s US series which
featured Cybill Shepherd and Bruce Willis playing characters with an
antagonistic will-they-won’t-they relationship], I was
wondering whether there was any inspiration in that for the relationship
between Karen and TJ? I always thought there was a definite romantic tension
there, even if Karen supposedly despised TJ! (Ellis)
‘No, we didn’t base the Karen/TJ relationship
on anything in Moonlighting (actually I don’t even think I’ve seen it)
we developed the double-act with the Canadian writers, pitching them originally
as ‘nice cop nasty cop’ on the management side; Lee and I added the romantic
tension stuff in series two, once we saw how charismatic the actors were when
working together - this moved the show on a bit, gave it a fresh dynamic and
lots of new storyline potential. Karen’s insane jealousy over TJ’s girlfriend
in Fire Alarm is one of my own favourites. In series three we thought
“ok enough of that now” and returned to Karen and TJ as sparring partners. It
would have been great to see where it might’ve gone if we’d got a Series Four.
Alas ...!’
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