Day 66, Monday
Remus Lupin, now moved to Bedroom Number One, has been enjoying relative quiet the past few days. Of course he's had to intervene in the fights in Bedroom Number Two, but for the most part, he has been sleeping soundly. Now he is waking - stretches luxiously, opens his eyes - is confronted with bright red words against a black background, and the ominous outline of a man in black leather-
Lupin: What! (sits up, eyes focus) "Terminator 2: Judgment Day"? What --- where did THIS come from?? (pulls poster down from the bed overhead) Who put this here??! (gets up, takes poster with him)
Later in the den; Snape sits on the sofa,leaning forward over his knees. From his hand dangles a string, which he guides around- Bertie leaps at it from under the coffee table.
Snape: Now now... patience is the key.
Bertie: (backs up on her haunches; crouches down and watches the string as it sneaks along the carpet)
Snape: Be bold. Let the string see you..... but let it be petrified - (the cat's eyes narrow) it must necessarily fall prey--
(Enter Black, whistling and swinging the bottle of 409 about his hand)
Black:HEYYY!
Snape(looks up, perturbed): What are you doing, Black?
Black: What are YOU doing? (notices Bertie) Ah, playing with the cat?
Snape: ... she was bored.
Black: HAH are you sure you weren't bored?
Snape(glares): ...I figure we can train her not to eat poisoned roaches.
Black: You mean you care?
Snape: You got me, Black. Either I care or I'm bored... you can struggle with the choices... (stands, stretches) Or you can take care of the cat. (exit)
Black: aw I don't want to play with the cat... (looks down) Bertie.. here, kitty.. (bends over, rubs fingers; the cat runs over to him)
Snape heads into the sun room, where he thinks he will have some peace. There in the doorway stands Lupin - he has the Terminator 2 poster unrolled and holds it high at Snape's eye level.
Lupin: What is THIS. What was it doing above my bed this morning??
Snape(smirk): Lupin. ... Don't you know... Malfoy won that back during the fourth challenge.
Lupin: Oh really? Why haven't I heard about this?
Snape: I heard after the fact that he and Voldemort wanted nothing to do with it, so they hid it in a closet.
Lupin: Now it's out of the closet?
Snape: As it were.
Lupin(smirks): I think you should take it back.
Snape: What makes you think I put it there?
Lupin: ...... SIRIUS! (storms out past Snape)
Snape(amused): As cabin fever sets in..... (he sits down with his book)
Back in the living room - Black is down on the floor hiding behind the side of the sofa, slowly dragging the string out in front of him; Bertie watches entranced-
Black: .... don't you want the string, Bertie? .... come get it.... get it... (jerks string - cat crouches down ready to pounce)
Lupin(stalks in): Sirius - what are you doing??
Bertie: (looks up, wide-eyed)
Black: Oh Remus - you're upsetting the game.
Lupin: You're playing games with the cat.
Black: She was bored... well.. (guilty admission) she was playing with Snape, but I'm a better playmate.
Lupin: No comment. Look, did you tape this thing over my head last night?? (holds out poster)
Black: Hahahahaha!
Lupin: E tu, Sirius?? Pranking your own best friend now? I see how this will end -
Black: Hahahaha!
Lupin: (rolls up poster tightly) hah, think its funny to wake up with Arnold Schwarzenegger staring down at you?
Black: Hahahah (rolls over on floor)
Lupin(storms over in mock agitation; beats Black with poster): He's a violent-looking character, isn't he?
(Bertrum flees from the room)
Black: ahahah --you scared the cat off again!
Lupin: Oh that cat - I'm always scaring her. I can't imagine how Voldemort became so fond of her
Black: haha- (catches Lupin offguard and snatches the poster out of his hand) AH!
Lupin: Uh oh (backs up)
Black: Now I have the power of the Terminator on my side!
Lupin: (on other side of coffee table) Good, think you can deal with the rest of the roach problem?
Black: (hand reaches compulsively for bottle of 409 hanging at the hip) Those bloody things - I knew we couldn't trust Snivellus to deal with them; he likes them anyway.
Lupin: I'm not sure about that. He smashed one with his fist.
Black: Close enough. EN GARDE! (suddenly jumps around coffee table; Lupin dashes out of the room) HEYYY!! What is this RUNNING! GRYFFINDORS DONT RUN! COME BACK! (chases after him, brandishing the poster wildly)
Snape is still in the sun room when the cat comes running in. He looks up, squints in appraisal.
Snape: What are you doing? What is that nonsense yelling? (glares out door, mutters) Those fools....
Bertie: meo.. (jumps on sofa across from him; she knows better than to try to sit directly next to him)
Snape: Voldemort was right... you are the only sensible character around here...
Meanwhile - Lupin runs through the hall around the den and towards the kitchen. Black chases after, waving poster and calling out
Black: OLA! WOLF CHASE!
Lupin: MAD! (runs to kitchen, slams door behind him; leans into it) SANCTUARY!
Black(pushes back): Oh no - NO MALFOY SANCTUARIES!
Lupin: There are no Malfoys here!
Black: DONT MAKE ME USE THE 409, REMUS!
-
Cut back to sun room:
Snape: ....... (brow furrowed) ..... What.... (slowly gets up, stretches, then strides toward kitchen)
-
Black(shoves self against door; it moves but does not open): When did you get so heavy!!?
Lupin: All those hash browns!! (glances around kitchen, back to door) Ahh... need.... weapon... .. (eyes fall upon utensil drawer) Ah.. in there.. yes! must... (pound from other side)
Black: WHAT - MOVE!
Lupin: must... make .. dash.. (counts silently to three, then scrambles across the kitchen to said utensil drawer; rips it open and grabs the first thing he can find - a plastic spatula. Black runs in and slides to a stop when he sees that Lupin is armed) HAH!
Black: OHHHH - going to the utensil drawer, EH?
Lupin(mock dueling position with spatula held overhead): Not so bold now, Sirius Black.
Black: Ah... (grins, takes 409 bottle as if it were a gun) How now?
Lupin: Oh don't shoot me with that!
Black: drop the plastic utensil!
Lupin: (reaches behind him for defense - finds pan on stove) Ah.. I'll not give up so easily...
Black: squirt of DEATH! (shoots - at the same time Lupin holds up the pan instead; the 409 hits it and dribbles down ineffectively)
Lupin: HAH! Like a medieval shield! (approaches with spatula)
Black: OH! (backs up)
Snape(leaning in doorway, arms folded): Isn't it nap time, children?
Black: Agh! - (spins around) Oh sneaking around! What is this?
Snape(sneer): I wasn't sneaking - if you hadn't been making so much noise you'd have heard me walking around very easily.
Lupin: We weren't disturbing you, were we?
Snape: Oh no, I only thought someone was being murdered.
Black: I'm surprised you care!
Snape: ...I came to watch.
Lupin: hahah...
Snape: But.. I may also point out that if one of you slips and does kill yourself in the puddle of disinfectant on the floor... it is not my fault..
Black: .. spoilsport.
Snape: My deepest sympathy.
Black: (glares)
Lupin: SO! Speaking of puddle, why not clean it up? (pulls paper towels out of cabinet)
Snape: Better. (turns and leaves)
Black: What - what about - (pause) What were we doing?
Lupin(towels up mess): Trying to make up for the lack of young people around here..
Black: Ah.. right. It sounds so righteous when you say it, Remus.
Lupin: Well... it is.
Black: Of course. (grins)
Lupin: Don't shoot me with that thing.
Black: hah. fine....