Sunday breakfast sees the absence of Voldemort and Draco, who are stretched out on both sun room sofas. Lucius Malfoy brings Voldemort tea.
Voldemort: Ah, Lucius, you can bring me some of .. whatever it is that the children are cooking this morning.
Draco(lazily): I'll have some too.
Lucius: What - you're perfectly capable of getting your own food.
Draco: Yes, but you're already going.
Lucius: I will not suffer being bossed around by my own child! (storms out)
Draco: -but father!
Voldemort: Ah, what would I do without the Malfoys for comic entertainment?
BigBrother: ATTENTION HOUSEMATES! BIG BROTHER SPEAKING
Voldemort: It's not Sunday again already, is it?
BigBrother: It is, Mr. Riddle - SUNDAY CHALLENGE DAY!
Flash to Kitchen:
Ron: What - he's talking to Big Brother behind our backs??
BigBrother: Today's challenge is for you to listen to music.
Tonks: Oh, that doesn't sound very challenging.
BigBrother: -for 24 hours straight!
Hermione: Big Brother, it's already 9 oclock. In 15 hours it will be Monday, which is not Sunday Challenge Day.
BigBrother: All right, all right.. Until Monday!
Harry: Good going, Hermione.
Ron: Yeah, you saved us again!
Lupin: You're the cleverest witch of your age, Hermione!
Black: Hey, something bit me! (kicks under table; Alfonso Cuaron crawls out and runs into the hallway and out of the house)
BigBrother: AHEM! The music you are to listen to is quite popular in America...
Harry(blanches): uhh....
BigBrother: A song by a one Britney Spears, entitled "Baby, One More Time"
(They all look to Harry, who shrugs nervously; the music suddenly blares over the loudspeakers, everyone startles.)
Black(scowling): WHAT IS THIS!
Hermione: HOW IS THIS A CHALLENGE?
BigBrother: We forgot to mention: NO TALKING!! Anyone who breaks the rules will lose the challenge for the entire household! Good luck.
(Indignant silence on part of housemates; Lupin, who is on his feet cooking, finds some paper and a pencil in a drawer, writes "I DONT LIKE THE LOOKS OF THIS." Tonks snatches it from his hands and adds "I DONT LIKE THE SOUNDS OF THIS EITHER!" Everyone snickers. Lucius Malfoy enters the kitchen, and Lupin unknowingly backs into him as he goes past-)
Lupin:--!(catches himself in time)
Lucius: ! (glares magnificently)
Lupin: (propitiating grin)
Lucius: (fetches a plate; holds it before Lupin and points with grossly exaggerated motions from the pan of eggs to the plate and back)
Lupin: (squints at him in mock confusion)
Lucius: (shakes fist)
Highlights throughout the day:
Sun Room, 1103: Draco and Voldemort are playing chess, both of them glaring in concentration as the song plays... again... and again....
1200: Harry and Ron are playing tiddlywinks; Snape walks past with his hands over his ears.
1320: In the kitchen, Tonks comes across a bottle of Advil with a piece of paper taped to the cabinet above it. Its neatly printed letters clearly read: 'MUGGLE MEDICINE FOR HEADACHES." She picks it up and contemplates..
1520: "When I'm not with you I lose my mind / Give me a sign/ Hit me baby one more time!" Ron hits his head repeatedly against the wall in the den. Hermione comes in and tries to stop him.
1600: Harry accidently drops his teacup; it shatters on the floor of the kitchen. He stares at it for an unnecessarily long time. Tonks writes on notepad "shattered like my nerves." Harry nods.
1640: Voldemort and Draco are still on their sofas; pillows pressed down over their heads.
BigBrother: ATTENTION HOUSEMATES IN THE SUN ROOM! (Voldemort makes a hand gesture of a nature not to be shown on network television) NO SUFFOCATION - NO SUICIDES, THIS IS NOT SO EASILY ESCAPED!
1700: Snape has duct taped a towel to his head.
1800: No one is cooking dinner, but in the kitchen a line is forming in front of the "MUGGLE MEDICINE FOR HEADACHES."
1912: Lucius Malfoy is sprawled out on the living room sofa, arm hanging listlessly over the side, eyes glazed and staring unfocused at the ceiling.
1956: Back in the sun room, Voldemort slowly pulls apart the leftover knitting by Umbridge, one strand at a time. His hands are shaking. Bertie sits in the pile of yarn, ears pulled back angrily.
2130: Draco goes to the kitchen, only to discover that the "MUGGLE MEDICINE FOR HEADACHES" is all gone. He stares at it open-mouthed and dazed with shock. Lupin enters, looking frazzled and shaky. He motions for the bottle. Draco turns it upside-down to demonstrate that it's empty. Lupin puts his head down on the counter and cries. Draco joins him.
2200: Tonks is trying to sleep; she is covered in blankets and pillows, but nothing blocks out the sound.
2214: Hermione climbs into the dryer, only to climb back out again when she realizes it does not stop the sound.
2310: Sirius collapses on the living room floor; a perfect companion to the comatose Lucius Malfoy.
At midnight, the music suddenly stops, and BigBrother comes back.
BigBrother: ATTENTION HOUSEMATES!
(In various rooms, housemates lift their weary heads, too exhausted to complain)
BigBrother: YOU HAVE WON THE CHALLENGE.
(or celebrate)
BigBrother: SLEEP WELL!
Slowly the housemates go back to their rooms - well, some of them. Voldemort and Draco stay on their sofas; Lucius Malfoy and Sirius Black are still unconcious in the living room. Harry is too tired to move from the den.
Upstairs, Ron lurches into his room where Tonks is already in bed.
Tonks: its done..... done....
Ron: Aghhh... can't..... think.... (falls on bed)
Tonks: I don't think I'll be singing in the shower tomorrow...
Bedroom Number Two:
Lupin stumbles in blearily; Snape is lying lifeless on his bed, towel still taped around head.
Lupin: hmmrsr (falls onto Black's bed, since he's not about to climb into his own)
Snape: nrrrr..
Lupin: rhghh..
Bedroom Number Three:
Dumbledore is sitting up in bed with a book, his back propped against a few pillows. He has his reading glasses on and seems to be completely unaffected by the day's activity. He glances up as Hermione enters.
Dumbledore: Good evening, Hermione.
Hermione: I want to die.
Dumbledore: (chuckles) Best sleep on it before you make that decision.
Hermione: Were you in here all day?
Dumbledore: The second floor is quite comfortable, as long as one is prepared not to eat.. and I'm afraid I was fortunate enough to have lost my appetite.
Hermione: ugh, I'm going to sleep.
Dumbledore(wryly): I wonder if they'll be complaining about the cold water when they all sleep in tomorrow..