Kasey and I had not spoken since the night of the kiss. �In the long run it would have all ended horribly� I have to keep telling myself that, I must.
**Flashback**
�Kase, I don�t know what to say� I said, sitting next to him. He grabbed my hand in his, �Let�s try and make this work�. I thought for a few moments. �How?� I asked, looking at those eyes. �You can come to my races and I can come here� he said, again, using those eyes against me. �No Kase I can�t! I am so busy on weekends, I can�t just take off to where ever you need me� I was getting upset.
He wrapped his arms around me �I know I just want to be with you. I mean, crap I don�t even know what I mean� he said, lowering his head. I ran my hand along the side of his face, bringing his eyes up to meet mine. �Kasey, think logically. I work all the time, you work all the time. It would all end up horribly.� I said, trying to be strong.
He walked out that night looking sadder than I had ever seen him. Once he left, I broke down. Sobbing on the couch, trying to figure out if I had just done the right thing.
*****
I was lucky enough to be able to keep myself busy with work. I spent my days in court, and I spent my nights at the office. Whenever I would stop work, my mind would wander�� thinking about Kasey. I have to stop thinking about him.
I was sitting at my desk, shoes off, highlighting a depo. I stopped and took off my glasses; I glanced up at the clock. 1:45, I have to sleep, I said to myself.
I drove home, stopping at the convenience store for a bag of chips. �Wonderful dinner� I said, choosing the flavor I wanted. I grabbed a Mt. Dew out of the walk in and headed up for the counter. My eyes scanned the magazines. I saw it, those blue eyes staring at me from behind the latest issue of Cosmo. I pushed aside the Cosmo and picked up the magazine that was sitting behind it. �Raising Kahne� the headline said. I decided to buy it, throwing it up on the counter with my chips and drink.
I walked into my living room, throwing my bag on the couch. I sat down and opened the bag of chips. Shoving one in my mouth, I flipped open the magazine to the interview with Kasey. I read through it, most of the questions were common. �How does it feel to win the championship in your second season? How do you like working with Ray?� My eyes scanned his answers, chuckling at the few he made jokes out of.
I got to the final group of questions�.. His love life, something Kasey always LOVED to talk about. I read through it, stopping when I read an answer that shocked me. �Any girlfriends?� the reporter asked, �No, but there is someone back home that I am still in love with. Might take me awhile to get her though�..�
I dropped the magazine in my lap. �He couldn�t be talking about me� I said to myself. I grabbed my cell phone and scanned through the numbers. �I hope he hasn�t changed the number� I said, hitting send.
The phone rang, once, twice��.. �Hello?� the groggy, but unmistakable voice said. �Kase?� I said quietly. �Shay?� he asked, a little panicked �something wrong?�
�No� I answered. �Well why are you calling me at� he said, pausing to look at the clock I am assuming �5:15�. My eyes got big, �I�m so sorry I forgot about the time difference. Ill let you go.�
Kasey quickly stopped me. �No wait!� he said into the receiver. �Yeah?� I asked. �Is there a reason you called?� he asked, answering my question with one of his own. �Yeah kinda but forget it� I said before getting out a quick goodbye and hanging up.
Within seconds my phone was ringing. �Hello� I said, knowing that it was Kasey. �Shay, tell me� he said, sounding more awake then before. I sighed, �Kase, I was just reading this interview and you said there was a girl back home that you were going to get. Who were you talking about� I asked, nervously. �You� he said, nonchalantly.
I sat for a second and listened to him breath, but I couldn�t hear it. �Are you holding your breath?� I asked, trying not to crack a smile. Kasey chuckled �yeah�.
We sat on the phone, talking for about 2 hours. �Look I think I need to get to bed� I finally said at 4:30. Kasey huffed �Can I call you tonight?� he asked, again holding his breath.
�I guess� I said, hesitantly.
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