Frog Jokes & Riddles

Froggy Jokes

Here are some of my Favourite Frog Jokes and Riddles.

If you have any to add please let me know.

Q. Why are frogs so happy?
A. They eat whatever bugs them.

Q. What happens when you cross a frog with a scrubber?
A. A rubbit!

Q. What is the first book a tadpole reads?
A. Metamorphosis by Kafka

Q. How do you apologise to a witch?
A. Ribbit!

Q. What does a Romulan frog use for camouflage?
A. A croaking device.

Q. How deep can a frog go?
A. Knee-deep, Knee-deep.

Q. What has more lives than a cat?
A. A frog that croaks every night.

Q. Why did the frog make so many mistakes?
A. It kept jumping to the wrong conclusion.

The Geek

An man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said,

"If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess"

He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said,

"If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."
The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out,

"If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want."
Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The man said,

"Look I'm a computer programmer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."

The Librarian and the Chicken

Once there was a Chicken that went into a library and said: "Book Book" and then the Librarian gave the Chicken some books.
Then the Chicken returned again and said: "Book Book" and so the Librarian gave the Chicken some more books.
Then the Chicken returned AGAIN and the Librarian thought "After I give this Chicken some books, I'm going to see where he's going" And the Librarian gave the Chicken some books and followed him. The Chicken was giving the books to a Frog and the Frog kept saying "Red-it Red-it"!

The Wizard

There was a Wizard who worked in a factory. Everything was satisfactory except that certain miscreants, taking advantage of his good nature, kept stealing his parking spot.

This continued until he put up the following sign:

"This parking space belongs to the Wizard ... Violators will be toad."

The Frog and the Princess

Once upon a time, a beautiful, independent, self assured princess happened upon a frog in a pond.
The frog said to the princess, "I was once a handsome prince until an evil witch put a spell on me. One kiss from you and I will turn back into a prince and then we can marry, move into the castle with my mom and you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children and forever feel happy doing so."

That night, while the princess dined on frog legs, she kept laughing and saying, "I don't think so."

White Lie

There was a really cute princess walking through the woods, and she heard a voice calling,
"Hey Really Cute Princess!"

She looked around and didn't see anyone but a frog. She started to walk on but the frog called again.
"Hey Really Cute Princess, if you take me home and let me sleep on your pillow, I will turn back into a Handsome Prince!"

It had been a very boring day so she decided to give it a try even though she really didn't believe the frog.

The Really Cute Princess took the frog home with her and let him sleep on her pillow. When she got up the next day what do you think she found?
There on her pillow sat a really Handsome Prince.

Do you believe the story?

Well neither did her mother!

Top ten reasons why it's great to be a frog

Babes are always kissing you because they think you'll turn into a prince.
Flies in your soup are a bonus.
You're above toads on the food chain.
Green goes with absolutely everything!
Pond Scum is a term of endearment.
Most restaurants have a "no croaking" section.
Amphibians are at a minimum risk of appearing on Geraldo.
You can scratch hard to reach places with your tongue.
You can donate your body to science for big bucks!
It sure beats being a newt.

Top ten signs you might be a frog

You get mad when you don't find a fly in your soup
You buy out the supply of wart removal cream in your drugstore constantly
French chefs are eyeing your legs and appear to be following you
Bug lamps appear to you as a curse
On applications, you list 'Pond' as your home address
Kermit is your idol
You get mad whenever Miss Piggy makes a pass at Kermit
Have seen the movie 'The Fly' at least ten times
You live in fear that someday you will wind up in a child's aquarium
France is the evil empire to you

Q. What did the frog do after reading this page?
A. It began to croak up.