Info�

Sign Posts and Other Stuff

Waking Up

I have just said that the wake up calls were unsought and unexpected. Not quite true. For all my non chilhood life, I have always been seeking. There has always been the feeling that answers were out there, just beyond my reach. When I was a child, I did not have to seek. I just accepted. The answers were all there because there were no questions. There just Was. It wasn't until I began to question that the answers became a goal. Why do I have these feelings of closeness to God and the earth? How do I get closer? Why doesn1t everyone see things like this? Hmmm power, interesting, How do I get more? Why this, why that, How, How, How? The more questions the fewer the answers and still the seeking. Still more distance from what I already knew.

As a teenager, Wicca, as a young adult, metaphysics and New age thought. I was confused and even more disconnected. I was able to access "power," still able to "make things happen. " But, more and more the feeling was not there. I began to realize that all of the things that I had studied were actually taking me farther from the Source. The more intellectualized and ritualized my perceptions became the less I was able to feel the connection to the Real.

I continued to have experience visitors coming to me and speaking, sometimes in different languages, which I was able to understand and communicate in. Often I could not remember what they had said later, only that I would know when the knowledge was needed. And, that I should continue to seek. During this time I had access to several very wise physical beings who could have told me what I needed to know. Of course, that would have been too simple. I would not have understood had they come out and told me. I was not ready to understand. Too much forgetting had gone on. Nevertheless, they made a significant impression on me that would begin to bear fruit when the time came. These also were sign posts and guides on the way. I was too wrapped up in my search to recognize Avatar when it came to me.

Enter the beginning of the road to awakening. The haphazard search began to accelerate and fall into a less diffuse path. Scarboro Faire 1991. My girls and I were once again working at the Faire. It was our annual retreat into fantasy. I was, as usual, managing an herb shop called Devonshire Apothecary for my friend JJ Levi. That year, my assistant was Keira, a wonderful outgoing young lady who drew friends like bees to honey. One Friday evening when I arrived, she was on the shop patio with a few friends. As I plopped down on the other end of a bench I saw only a glimpse of the young man at the other end. . He was complaining about his day at work and I was happy to chime right in. It had not been a good day for me either. Talk continued on to metaphysics and when everyone else was gone, we were still sitting and talking. I kept thinking that he was so familiar. It was not long before it was very clear that he had been Jr., My stepbrother in his last life. He still hates flying.

Henry, or Wolf, was fascinated by the occult and studying aspects from Nordic magic to Wicca to whatever. Needless to say, we were hand fasted the following year by another dear friend Willam and his daughter Ceridwen, who are followers of Wicca. The ceremony was amazing and beautiful. Keira laid a circle of roses. When fire was called, flames flared in a brazier on the other side of the deck. When the water was called the stream below became noticeably louder. For air, large gust of wind lifted the canopy. And finally the entire circle was filled with may pops until the end of the ceremony when they all disappeared. Everyone was awed.

That was the beginning of a super partnership. We encouraged each other along in our studies. Each of us had insights that pushed the other toward more growth and more insight. Together we were able to go farther than seperately, but the connection was still not quite made. The search continued unabated and with more eagerness and concentration than before. Still, while we continued to grow and learn we were unable to connect with what "worked "or felt "right. " We grew in ability until the pieces started to fall together.

Over the years, I had read all of the works of Richard Bach and had found there answers to question I had not thought to ask. His books brought me to undrstanding of the AHA! principle. That is when you find something so familiar that you realize that you are remembering instead of learning. From there, it became for me, a process of remembering rather than learning. The last Bach book I read was Running From Safety. Shortly after reading that book we stopped by a Taylors Books in Dallas and learned that Mr. Bach was to be in town. My daughter Sara and I got there hours early to wait. Finally, Sara looked around puzzeled and said "He's here!" Just then he walked into the store toward us. I have to say that Mister Bach has an aura of the type that is rarely seen. He is a glowing presence. Sara felt his presence before she saw him. He took time to talk to us and was everything his writings indicated he would be.

A few months later I had my first experience with illumination. I had not been particularly thinking about his book and the concepts it held when I went to bed but I had given occasional thought to some of the implications. On this night, I woke up completely alert in a room lit up with a huge bright light. Everything glowed. All of a sudden I had all of the answers to all of the questions never asked. I was a part of everything. I understood ONE completely. It was the most ecstatic feeling I have ever had. When the light faded I jumped up and ran to get my journal and began to write.

There was no real need for ritual and summoning. We are one with everything. Our perceptions create our reality. The only magic is the ability to change our perception of where we are and what is coming. There are many realities. Each with different nuances of outcome. We have the ability to willfully change our reality to the desired outcome simply by Knowing that we can. All of the studies of different rituals and beliefs are part of the ONE. they all are only tools designed to focus us on the reality that there is no solid reality, only perceptions. Once realized, we do not need tools. The catch is that we have lessons to learn. Not lessons or tests designed by God but rather lessons designed by ourselves so that we may experience who we are as well as remember Who We Are. And who we are is part of ONE, part of God if you wish. It makes no difference by which path you realize this.

Buddha said it. Jesus said it. Mohammed said it. Our holy men have been saying it for centuries. And, for centuries we have been killing them for it. We are God. Some find it easier to think of us a God dreaming of possibilities. Some prefer children of God. What we are is in actuality, God experiencing Gods self in all of His infinite ways of being. Waiting for us to realize ...Us. For us to return to the pure ONE. Think of it! To return to being a part of everything! To be a part of every flower, every tear, every molecule. Even the grossest things begin in beauty and light. How could we not want to be part of that?

Actually, there are reason each of us could have for staying far away from this thought. We are all addicted to our ego, our individuality. Surrender being me?! Become part of something more?! What could be more than just me?! This in itself makes and interesting idea of how "evil " could come to be. What better way to reject return to One. Reject anything bringing light. Fight back. Hold on to Me. But think, if There is only One and all has happened, will happen, is happening, then at some point we have already returned. God already knew the outcome. Why would He design a plan that would allow failure? Are we going to put a limit on what He knows?

Directory

Back to Main Page
Chapter 1 My Story
Chapter 2 Some Beliefs
Chapter 4 Quantum Aspects
Chapter 5 Sweat Lodge
Chapter 6 Teachers and Shamen
Gods Dream/Alan Watts
New Additions
Quotes and Poems
Suggested Reading List
Book Reviews / Opinionated Mystic

Continued in Chapter 4

"People need ceremony. It's not enough just to think about life or healing. Ceremony creates the magic that allows healing to happen. It doesn't much matter which ceremony, as long as both the healer and the supplicants believe in it."

from "Coyote Medicine"
by Lewis Mehl-Madrona, M.D.

Please leave messages for me in the guestbook or by E-Mail.

View Guestbook

Sign Guestbook

� 1997 [email protected]

� 1997 [email protected]

LinkExchange Member

Free Home Pages at GeoCities

�

I Am A Proud Member Of:

Phenomenal Women Of The Web

.

p>

---

This page hosted by Get your own Free Home Page

Hosted by www.Geocities.ws