So many people email me and tell me their signs so I thought I would add a page about astrological signs. Actually these are a little on the funny side. Hope you enjoy reading them as much as I did the first time.
SEXY SIGNS
BY THELMA BALFOUR
Aries, The Ram
March 21 to Aril 19
Thin skinned folks, beware of this
sign! If you're skeptical about soaring with the eagles, stay away, because an Arian
is not squeamish about trying anything old or new, and wants a partner similarly
uninhibited.
Women, don't be suprised by a male who will lick your navel, tongue your clitoris,
and ram his penis into your mouth. If you want your nipples sucked, you'll get your toes,
ears, fingers, and all other extremities sucked as well. Like the Scorpion, the
Arian has an insatiable appetite that few can satisfy, and once involved with this dynamic
sign, there's no turning back. The more you thwart his advances, the more turned on
he gets. Screams of mercy from pain he inflicts during sex just turn him on; the
more you protest, the better he likes it. You name it--pulling, biting, thrusting,
and spanking--he does it all.
For a man involved with an Arian woman, the sexual explosion could take place
anywhere, including the back seat of a car, an office desk, or even your mother's house.
Completely sensual and passionate, this woman has a voracious appetite and likes to
call the shots in sex, sometimes resorting to thick ropes, leather whips, and spiked heels
to gain control. These women pride themselves in giving "good head" but
look out for her sharp teeth and fingernails.
Arians are physically attracted to Librans, their opposite signs, but this
combination won't go far outside the bedroom.
Their compatible signs are Gemini, Leo, Aquarius and Sagittarius.
Taurus, The Bull
April 20 to May 20
Although there won't be any group sex or
whips and chains, this sign loves sex and has an insatiable appetite. With both the
male and female, we're talking a straight fuck of the up-and-down variety.
The Taurus man prides himself on being a good because he sets out to master the art
of lovemaking at an early age. There won't be much kinkiness with this slow,
methodical lover, but the end result is a satisfying encounter. What he lacks in
creativity, he makes up tenfold in his ability to "hang in there" (no pun
intended) when others fall short. Men are turned on by musty odors, kisses, and
light touches to the neck and throat area. They also adore large asses, preferring
these to tits.
The Taurus woman is titillated by hot, wet kisses in/on hot mouth and neck,
and lots of sucking everywhere. Her usually flawless skin should be complimented as
soon as she discards her clothes, her body should be treated like a temple. She
craves oral sex and is a master (mistress?) at giving head; although she likes to satisfy
her partner, don't expect any unconventional sexual behavior until she gains your trust.
Taurus women have an affinity for lesbianism (everybody loves a Taurus!) as well as
for nymphomania because they need sex and they need it often.
Scorpio is the opposite sign of Taurus. In fact, these two can barely stay
out of the bedroom long enough to eat--food, that is.
Compatible signs include Cancer, Pisces, Capricorn, and Virgo.
Gemini, The Twins
May 22 to June 21
The sign of the Twins means two distinct
personalities, so the wonderful man or woman that you had sex with last week may be
different person the next. Beware, you may be taken for a ride, but then again you
may enjoy the trip. You may flirtatiously stroke the hands and arms of a Gemini,
only to discover that he or she is running hot or cold at the same time. Remember
you are dealing with two distinct personalities--one who enjoys watching his/her partners
reaction, and one who's busy analyzing his/her own performance.
Although the Gemini man often courts prostitutes and leans toward bisexuality, he
gets a C for performance because he's more concerned about himself than about his
partner's satisfaction. He loves kinky sex with groups because of the chance to have
sex with a variety of partners. Don't be suprised by mirrors on the ceilings and
walls, red and blue night-lights in the room, and an assortment of toys--penis extenders,
vibrators, Ben-wa Balls-because the bed is the Gemini's playground.
The female Gemini is often the aggressor, seeking more and more satisfaction from
sex. Stimulated by a vivid imagination, she too likes games and toys, but revels in
spontaneity and suprise. She's curious rather than kinky, and is easily aroused by
body odors: semen, perspiration. soiled sheets.
Signs compatible with Gemini include Aquarius, Leo, Libra, and Aries.
Cancer, The Crab
June 22 to July 22
Moody, insecure Cancer likes to have
nipples, breasts, and chest caressed and kissed. In fact, they are extraordinary
kissers themselves. This should come as no suprise since they are the true romantics
of the Zodiac and embody the idealized view of love and sex in that order. They
wrote the book on romance, moonlight, and music, so you'll get no open, raw, mind-blowing
sex. Proceed with caution.
The woman's sexual gratification is just as important to the male as his own, so
let him run the show initially. Restless and idealistic, sensitive and insecure, complex
and moody, he takes love seriously, so settle in for a long term relationship. A
fairly traditional lover, he's so good at foreplay, lingering long and lovingly over the
clitoris. which he will stroke to climax. About as kinky as he will get is to dress
up in women's clothes.
The Cancer woman tends to be shy and inhibited, but, once aroused, she is capable
of great passion. She likes to stroke her lover's penis and testicles, as well as to
kiss the inside of his thighs before bringing him to climax. These women often
masturbate or have sex with lesbians, young boys or family members.
Compatible signs are Taurus, Pisces, Virgo, and Scorpio.
Leo, The Lion
July 23 to August 22
With Leos, you better come prepared
for total submission or a less than equal relationship. And if you don't give
pleasure redily, you're outta there!
Remember the symbolism here: the Lion is the king of the jungle and must be
treated with respect. Both sexes want to be in total control of lovemaking. Of
course, they must be told how wonderful the encounter was because they are self-assured
and work hard at what they enjoy. The trouble is, if you like lots of foreplay you
may be disappointed, because Leos put their energy into the sexual act and the afterplay.
Once aroused, a Leo woman will take the lead and match an aggresive lover stroke
for stroke. When you enter her plush budoir, you'd better perform or you'll be
thrown out of the queen's bee hive never to enjoy her "honey" again. She
may be receptive to a lttle kinkiness because it alleviates sexual bedroom, and may even
use a dildo to enter her lover from behind.
Her male counterpart is a tiger in bed and doesn't like to tease; he expects his
partner to be ready and willing whenever he wants her, which is most of the time. A
Leo, like a gemini, loves to screw with the lights on, not for analytical purposes, but so
you can admire his body. A Leo man is the most unconventional when it comes to
sticking to the rules of the "pajama game" so sit back, relax, and enjoy the
erotic roller coaster ride.
Aquarius is Leo's opposite sign. This combination may work for a while as
passion seeks new heights, but over the long haul it won't last.
Compatible signs are Aries, Gemini, Sagittarius, and Libra
Virgo, The Virgin
August 23 to September 22
With the Virgo, there won't be any hot,
romantic, impromptu interludes on the beaches, in the back seat of cars, or in a swimming
pool, but if you're looking for commitment, you've hit the jackpot!
The erogenous zones of Virgo include the stomach and lower chest, so gentle rubbing
during a shower and sex will steam up any bathroom or bedroom. Virgos have an affinity for
cleanliness, so a shower before sex is always a good idea. They are also realists
and traditionalists who find unconventional sex contrary to their prudish nature.
They are more responsive in marriage or a long-term relationship, and once they decide to
have sex, the encounter is well worth the wait.
You can't jump right into bed with this sign, but don't misunderstand--these are
not monks and nuns were talking about. You won't have any wild, kinky, and
crazy days or any late-night carousing in bars; sex play will be orderly, methodical, and
scheduled, just like his/her life. She has some sexual hang-ups and prefers the
missionary position, but she'll do a lot to please a lover and enjoys mutual masturbation.
He knows the female body and can rally turn a woman on, but tends to be farily
conventional unless stimulated by an imaginative partner. This man has good
potential, but sometimes gets sidetracked into voyeurism. masturbation, and sexual
obessions.
A Virgo fits best with Capricorn, Taurus, Cancer, or Scorpio.
Libra, The Scales
September 23 to October 23
Libra's decisiveness will drive you
crazy!!!! This sign is one of the kinkiest of the kinky, especially the Libran
woman. The symbolism is the scales, which usually means weighing the pros and cons
of life and sex.
The Libra man has the art of lovemaking down to a fine science, but he sometimes
gets lost in the foreplay, forgetting about the "play". He will sip
champagne from your navel or insert objects into your vagina and will sip champagne from
your navel or insert objsects into your vagina and release them at the point of orgasm.
But don't rush the man, because Librans love to play in bed all day and most of the
night. He can be dramatic in his approach: he'll begin with an intimate candlelight
dinner (which he's prepared!) and champagne, followed by a bath with you, massage and
"dessert".
The woman of this sign has an unusual control of the vaginal muscles and can
constrict them to bring her partner to orgasm. She'll take it slow and easy, while
she explores your body. In bed, she's willing and ready to do what's needed, and
she'll try anything once.
The opposite sign of Libra is Aries, and the Aries/Libra combination is "hot
to trot" in the bedroom, but unless this pair comes up with something stimulating, a
long-term commitment is not in the cards.
They are most compatible with Leos, Sagittarians, Aquarians, and Gemini.
Scorpio, The Scorpion
October 24 to November 21
If you're looking for kinky sex, you've come
to the right person, but you better understand what you're getting into, because there's
no running back once you're involved with a Scorpion. While most people are
satisfied with two orgasms, a Scorpion wants twelve!
"Sex" is the key to word here. The Scorpio man or woman is totally
obsessed with it. By that i mean how to get it and more of it, how to keep it, and
how to improve on it. Nothing is taboo to them, and, once aroused they'll perform
anytime and anyplace. When in bed, they mean business, and they must sastisfy their
insatiable appetite for sex. They will use electric devices, props, and whips
without hesitation, and they love cunnilingus and fellatio. Soft caresses are out:
he's an animal in bed and she'll scratch 'til you holler.
One male Scorpion told me that he makes preparations for sexual encounters weeks in
advance, choosing just the right music and lighting. But once intercourse begins, he
enjoys six or seven encounters a night, making his companions beg for mercy. The
goal of a Scorpion is to totally possess his mate. both physically and mentally, so
proceed with caution. Don't tease unless you plan to deliver, because Scorpions will
rape if attempts at sex are thwarted by their companions.
The Scorpio woman is daring and experimental, and she'll do anything to prolong
sex, from using vibrators and dildos to popping your behind with a whip. Boring
rountines and methodical schedules are not her cup of tea because she beings intensity to
all sexual encounters. This woman is active in bed and likes to gain control by
mounting her partner.
A Scorpion's best bet is someone born under the sign of Cancer, Pisces, Capricorn,
or Virgo.
Sagittarius, The Archer
November 22 to December 21
Never think you can totally possess a
Sagittarian. They are flirts by nature and will move from person to person
without a thought. They are adventurous and free-spirited. Their erogenous
zones are hips, thighs, and all areas in between.
The males of this sign are happy-go-lucky types who view sex as play.
They have a liberal attitude toward life and love. I once knew a dentist who
had very little sex as teenager, so, as an adult, he saw nothing wrong with carrying on
two or three affairs at the same time. Nothing embarrasses the Sagittarian; he's
turned on by body odors and he loves gadgets like dildos in the bedroom. Let's get
straight now, a Sag man in his won person and will always be a bachelor even when's he's
married.
The Sagittarian woman loves to screw out of doors, and she prefers the man-on-top
arrangement. Although she likes the appetizers, she wants to move as quickly as
possible to the main course; once at the table, however, she likes to linger over the
entre. She doesn't like to experiment, and frequently moves from man to man in her
search for sexual gratificaton. Her free spirit can lead her to lesbianism and
bestiality.
Compatible signs are Libra, Leo, Aquarius, and Aries.
Capricorn, The Goat
December 22 to January 19
Capricorns are self-absorbed and are more
interested in the sexual act itself than in the sexual partner. They want to
dominate in bed because control is important to them. Outwardly, they seem quite
cold, but that's only a defense mechanism; once aroused, they are rough and sadistic--
eager to use paddles, whips or vibrators for their sexual pleasure.
A Capricorn woman doesn't like to be suprised in bed; she wants to know what to
expect. And don't worry about alot of preliminaries, because getting her aroused
requires just a few nibbles of the ears and navel. A tradionalist who prefers the
missionary position, whe can be turned on, however, by cunnilingus, but doesn't want to
perform fellatio. She likes prolonged lovemaking. As her partner, you're in for
a very long night!
The Capricorn man prides himself on his stamina and his ability to satisfy a
woman. Don't make the mistake, however, of trying to lead the goat, because he won't
tolerate it. Instead, let him take the lead. This man is easily aroused when
everything is in place: slow, seductive music, soft lights turned low, and exotic setting.
He can be sadistic, though, sometimes resorting to simulated rape, and he prefers
to climax by anal penetration.
She/He mates best with virgo, Taurus, Pisces, or Scorpio.
Aquarius, The Water Bearer
January 20 to February 18
Men and women of this sign are highly
experimental, and will add bisexuality, homosexuality, and lesbianism to their
repertoire. They move slowly in a relationship, but don't let them fool you;
once these innovators of the sex world are aroused, watch out!!! They will do
anything to please their lovers, even setting their own pleasure aside in order to please
their mates. Like the Scorpion, nothing is taboo to the Aquarian.
The Aquarius male can get bogged down in foreplay because he's a slow, considerate
lover, but climax with him is worth waiting for. He's a "no holds barred"
kind of man, who quickly gets bored with routine sex. A real doctor of love, he
likes French ticklers and tasty sprays; he'll take two or three sex partners at the same
time; and likes the taste of honey on the clitoris and lemon oil on the nipples.
The woman is a slow starter, but, once aroused, she's extremely creatative and
imaginative because she loves variety. She is very sympathetic and giving in a
relationship, so is sometimes attracted to impotent men, lonely women, and unhappy
husbands. Idealistic and courageous, she is the most sexually liberated women, and
will do anything and everything for love. In a relationship, she is very tender,
warm, and compassinate; consequently, she is often exploited by men who misread her
romatic nature.
The Aquarian is drawn to those born under Aries, Gemini, Sagittarius and Libra.
Pices, The Fish
February 19 to March 20
Pisceans enjoy sex to the fullest:
they are very creative in bed and are most cooperative in trying innovative types
of sex. They will do just about anything short of death to please their partners.
Their apparent shyness and timidity is only a front, for, once the doors are
closed, they'll take you on the adveture of a lifetime. On the darker side,
Pisceans sometimes join sex cults, become prostitutes, or engage in long-term
master/slave relationships.
Attractive, intelligent, and charismatic, the male is extremely passionate, self
indulgent, and sensitive to others. Although he likes to take the lead in bed, he
likes an experienced, sexually demanding woman who will make all of his erotic fantasies
come true. He's defintely a foot man; a mate will drive him wild by massaging his
feet and sucking his toes.
The Pisces woman is secually liberated and will do anything--wear outrageous costumes,
endure bondage, give a tongue bath, lie under a "golden shower"-- to pleas her
lover. Easily turned on by exotic settings and erotic games, she is passionate woman
who enjoys sex to the fullest and will sometimes use her body to get what whe wants.
Capricorn, Taurus, Cancer, and Scorpio are compatible signs.
EMAIL ME PHOTO ALBUM ART THOUGHTS
FAV READS MUSIC POETRY BROTHA LOVE