April 7, 2002
Well, here I am...one year ago this month I began my wls journey by calling the insurance company and my primary care doctor. Even though I knew what I was working toward at that point, I could never have imagined the profound changes I would experience. My life is so different than it was just a year ago. Last April I couldn't climb my stairs without having to stop and catch my breath at least once. I was wearing clothes simply because they fit my large body, not because I particularly liked the style or color or pattern. I couldn't cross my legs to save my life and I was living with high blood pressure. Most importantly I had given up and I was afraid I would die that way. I felt humiliation on a daily basis because of my weight. I couldn't be as physically active as I wanted to be because I just didn't have the strength or range of motion. I was angry at the world for not accepting my obesity. I was defensive and rude. I hated being with people for the most part, especially women who didn't carry the amount of weight that I was carrying. I had given up on ever loosing the weight.
And now here I am. It's been a year since I made the most important health decision of my life and it's been nearly 8 months since my surgery. I still experience that moment of disbelief when I look in the mirror and see my reflection or when I put on an article of clothing that says "L" or "14" on the tag. I still cry when I look at pictures from a year ago and I get a very real glimpse of where I was then and where I am now. I remember looking at other people's websites and watching them go from morbid obesity to health. From very heavy and unhappy to slender and full of life. I pulled my husband to the computer more times than I can count and we marveled together at the miracle of this surgery. And now here I am, a testimony of that miracle. It gives me deep joy to share my transformation with others and to watch them step over that thresh hold and into a new life of health and joy.
April 23, 2002
I just returned home from visiting my sister and her family in Rhode Island. It was a wonderful trip, I got to spend so much time with my niece and nephews. Their daddy is in the Navy so we all don't get to see eachother too often, but the time we do have is precious to me.
In order to get from California to Rhode Island I had to fly of course. I haven't done that since way before I had my surgery. Back then the airplane seats were hard for me to fit into. I felt so horrible about myself cause I could barely fit and the seat belt had to be adjusted as large as possible to fit around me. It was a lot different when I got on the plane this time. I slid right into my seat and pulled that seatbelt up tight around me! Wow! What a feeling!
I weighed myself today. The weightloss has slowed down a lot and I know that's my fault. I've been drinking with my meals which is a huge "no-no" because it helps the food to run thru you faster and it robs you of that feeling of fullness and satisfaction. I find that when I drink w/my meals I can eat a lot more in one sitting than when I behave and I don't drink with my meals. I'm making a brand new effort to control this. It's so hard for me to not drink while I'm eating, but I also know it's one of the keys to loosing and keeping off the weight. Anyway, I weighed in at 177 lb. today. This means....I am no longer "very overweight", just "overweight" according to my BMI (which is 30.4)! The next step down is "IDEAL"!!!!! :) This also means that I am 7 pounds away from joining the century club! Whooo hooo!
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