Chapter Twenty: Fastening and Reinstating of Family Ties
(We see our nearly long-forgotten Spry, sprawled out on what we would assume to be a floor, if we could differentiate between the floors, walls, and ceilings that make up the voids of space and time. She looks very tranquil. I feel special. I use nice words! Yeah. Anyway, she is lying on her back staring at something, or maybe just zoning out. I don�t know.)
Spry: What�s going on, man? Dawdle, I know you are listening�..talk to me�..please?
(Nothing happens for several moments. It is then, that suddenly, with a flash of bright light, Dawdle appears. He is looking rather down in the dumps. Spry sits up to look at him, and slowly Dawdle moves and sits next to her.)
Dawdle: I am such an arse-monkey!
Spry: Somehow I think that is an understatement. What have you done?
Dawdle: (sighs) You�re still out of it with what�s going on, aren�t you?
Spry: Well, yeah, duh. I�ve been locked up in here for more than a week! Pokemon episodes and insanity.
Dawdle: (frowns) Sorry.
Spry: Be sorry later. I want an explanation as to where the hell you�ve been all this time�..why you had to come back now, what exactly, you�ve been up to, what you hoped to accomplish, and what�s going on in general.
(Dawdle just sits there for a few seconds and then turns so he is sitting across from his sister. He looks at her for a moment and then looks down. He appears to be collecting his thoughts.)
Dawdle: Where have I been? I really don�t know. I�ve just been around. I�ve been watching you, you know. I saw this whole plan of yours and I guess I got jealous that you can be around people and whatever. You know how I�m always off on my own. I wanted to ruin it, so I went to go and talk to Saruman, and then I came to you.
Spry: (raises an eyebrow) You met with Saruman?
Dawdle: (cringes) Yeah�..creepy old fart that he is. Anyway, he knew about the girls and everything and I promised him that I could get them for him. In return he promised me absolute power and everything and I fell for it and whatever.
Spry: And then you came and locked me away. That was right around when the Fellowship was coming out of the Mines. What did you do?
Dawdle: (scratches head) Well, I had been hoping that they would all just die when the orcs found them near Balin�s tomb. It was really me who knocked over the dead guy and the bucket, not Pippin. He really didn�t do it. When they survived that and the Balrog didn�t kill them, save for Gandalf, I was sort of upset.
Spry: Well, at least you let Gandalf fall. That would�ve screwed up everything if you hadn�t.
Dawdle: I guess. Anyway, they got out and they were all mourning the loss of Gandalf when I showed up and just took the girls. I brought them here.
Spry: (smirks) That should�ve been interesting.
Dawdle: Well, I thought they might actually kill me or something. Anyway, I told them of my plans and whatever.
Spry: Which were to send the four of them to Isengard?
Dawdle: Yeah. Well, they told me it was stupid, which it was. I was all weird then, but I think I�m coming back into my right frame of mind. Apparently I was stupid enough that they convinced me to send the blonde and redhead to Isengard.
Spry: Van and Kit? Why? They could never do anything�oh, I get it. They sent them there because they knew Saruman would want their knowledge of what happens in the future, but they don�t know anything, so they could tell him crap and he�d believe it.
Dawdle: Sister mine, you are good. I sent the other two, the more serious ones�..one was named Stevie, I think�..to Lothlorien
Spry: Stevie and Harper. Why did they want to go there?
Dawdle: (looks at Spry) They told me they would lure the Fellowship into Saruman�s clutches. I was an idiot and I believed them. They met the Fellowship there, and told them where they had been, but not what I had talked to them about. They said that Kit and Van were beyond their reach, but that for the time being they would be safe.
Spry: What else did they say?
Dawdle: A few of them had some doubts, and the Elf and the Ring-bearer seemed very upset over it. Harper told them that they couldn�t ask questions about it, that they just had to trust that she and Stevie were telling them the truth. They left it at that.
Spry: So what happened then?
Dawdle: The girls had apparently agreed on which events needed to take place, so Kit and Van told Saruman about Amon Hen. Several things happened that day.
Spry: They needed to be attacked, Boromir needed to try and steal the Ring, Frodo had to run off with Sam, Merry and Pippin had to be taken by orcs, and Boromir had to die defending them. What out of those really did happen?
Dawdle: To a certain extent, all of them. They were attacked. Boromir tried to take the Ring, but before he could lay a hand on Frodo, Harper managed to knock him unconscious and drag him away to safety, telling Frodo to head for the Shore. Frodo went back to the campsite to find Stevie waiting for him. She told him that he had to go to Mordor.
Spry: (chuckles) They planned this out well. (stares at him for a moment) Frodo took Sam with him, didn�t he?
Dawdle: Yes, Stevie made sure of that.
Spry: (nods, relieved) Good. What else happened?
Dawdle: Merry and Pippin were still taken by orcs. Stevie found Aragorn, the Elf, and the dwarf, who were looking for Boromir. Stevie basically told them that he and Harper would be gone for a long while, and that they needed to rescue those who they still could, in other words, Merry and Pippin.
Spry: So they went off to find the Hobbits. What of Boromir and Harper?
Dawdle: Harper shoved Boromir, still unconscious, in one of the Lothlorien boats and pushed him upstream all the way to the Gladden River.
Spry: (eyes widen) The Gladden River? That�s like 400 freaking miles away!
Dawdle: (laughs) I know. Boromir was out for the whole thing, and didn�t wake up until she got him there. He basically flipped a crap, but Harper told him to shove it and that he had to stay there until she knew it was time for him to leave.
Spry: To keep him away from Gondor, Mordor, and the Ring. To keep him alive. Did he listen?
Dawdle: He wasn�t going to, but Harper threatened to kill him if he left. She wasn�t kidding either. Basically told him that if he left he would die anyway and that trying to redeem himself for what he had done would be pointless. Gave him the �if you love me you won�t do this� line.
Spry: (winces) Ouch. Let me guess, he bought it?
Dawdle: Oh yeah. So those two are like two little love bunnies who try to kill each other at random intervals. They�ve made shelter from the ruins of what used to be a Hobbit-type settlement.
Spry: The Stoors, Gollum�s people. Yeah. What about Kit and Van?
Dawdle: They haven�t really been doing much. Saruman is still buying their cheesy lies.
Spry: And Frodo and Sam?
Dawdle: Everything is going normal. They met Gollum and are on their way to Mordor. That leaves Stevie, Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli.
Spry: Don�t forget Merry, Pip, and Gandalf�..who did come back as a White Wizard, didn�t he?
Dawdle: Yes, he did. He put Merry and Pippin safely in the hands of the Ents, while he took Aragorn, Stevie, Legolas, and Gimli to Edoras.
Spry: The kicked out Wormtongue who is going to Isengard�..that could be bad for Van and Kit.
Dawdle: They�ll hopefully have Ents and to Hobbit heroes soon anyway.
Spry: True. They brought Theoden back to normal, right?
Dawdle: As normal as can be. Aragorn and Stevie had a food fight in the Golden Hall because Aragorn got angry when Legolas said something to him about Stevie and Aragorn�s cuddle time. Not to mention that Stevie was right there and stuff. So, they had a food fight and Stevie chucked mashed potatoes at the King of Rohan.
Spry: (gasps) They did that without me? No!
Dawdle: (pats his sister�s knee) We can help them soon enough.
Spry: Yeah, maybe we can go chill with them at Helm�s Deep or something.
Dawdle: (shrugs) Sure, why not?
Spry: So, when did you realize all that was really going on?
Dawdle: What? When did my brain start functioning properly again? Hmm�..I think it was right around when Stevie, Legolas, Aragorn, and Gimli ran into the Riders of Rohan and had a little chat with Eomer. Things started to become normal then. I took a while to get myself to thinking about what I�d been doing.
Spry: Well, that�s a good thing.
Dawdle: It is. I just feel like such a spaz for everything!
Spry: (pokes him) Being a spaz is fun, brother mine.
Dawdle: Does this mean you forgive me?
Spry: Yeah, I forgive you. If you ever do this again I swear I�ll get medieval on your arse.
Dawdle: (laughs) Alright. Can we go be good guys now?
