Chapter Twenty One: Odd Impressions, Bad News, and Weird Company
(We see Aragorn and Legolas walking around Edoras, still covered in food. It really is quite the sight. The future King of Gondor and the Prince of the Woodland Realm covered in food walking down the streets of a village were all the people just stand around and stare at things all day. It�s fascinating. Anyway, they�re walking, and on the steps of Meduseld stand Stevie and Eowyn.)
Eowyn: This is quite the cruel punishment for your two friends.
Stevie: Yep. It�s great. Not to mention the looks that the overly enthusiastic people of this village are giving them.
Eowyn: Overly enthusiastic? Perhaps you are confused. Our people have not been happy in a long time.
Stevie: (rolls her eyes) Okay, first, that was sarcasm. Secondly�ooo, wait! That old dude quirked his eyebrow! Enthusiasm, baby! Enthusiasm!
Eowyn: I do not understand you, Stevie.
Stevie: That�s the point! Now if you will excuse me!
(Stevie runs down the steps and over to Aragorn and Legolas, who are returning from their wonderful walk around town.)
Aragorn: Well, we have done as you said. Are we free to go now?
Stevie: Sure. Just don�t take too long to clean up. Gandalf and Theoden found two children on horseback out near barrows. We think they have something of importance to tell us.
Legolas: Than we shall make haste. We will join you in the Golden Hall within the hour.
Stevie: Alright. Oh yeah, make sure you was really well. I�ve heard that potatoes are really hard to get out of the hair!
(Meanwhile, our friends, Kit and Van, are still at Isengard, and they have company. They are down in the big room where they usually tell Saruman their pointless babble.)
Kit: So, what are you doing, grandpa?
Saruman: I am making something.
Van: What are you making, grandpa?
Wormtongue: Stop asking so many questions!
Van: You�re weird.
Wormtongue: And you are annoying.
Kit: Well, you are a freak of nature.
Wormtongue: Well, you�re disruptive!
Saruman: (glares) Shut up! All of you! The making of explosive devices is a slow and delicate process. Now all of you go away!
Van: Middle-earth has explosive devices? Since when?
Saruman: Since I started making them!
Kit: Whatever. Come on, Van. (sticks out her tongue at Wormtongue) Let�s go back to our room before Wormbutt tries to molest us again.
(Here we are back at the Gladden River with, you guessed it, Harper and Boromir. Harper is going to and fro, in and out of their remodeled hobbit house doing goodness knows what. Boromir is sitting on a log outside sharpening his sword.)
Boromir: (sighs) Hannah, what are you doing?
Harper: I�m cleaning.
Boromir: Cleaning what?
Harper: I�m cleaning up the mess you made.
Boromir: What mess? I didn�t make a mess.
Harper: Yes, you did. You trailed all that dirt in on the floor and then you left your crap lying about.
Boromir: (chuckles) My, my, how we�ve become quite the little housewife!
Harper: (glares) Shut up. I wouldn�t have to if you would quit being so messy!
(The two continue to bicker pointlessly when, suddenly, there is another one of those weird and ridiculously bright flashes of light. Whoa, look, it�s Spry and Dawdle. There�s a surprise�..sorta. It now seems really convenient that Boromir was just sitting around sharpening his sword because he jumps up from the log upon which he had been sitting sword in hand, looking like he�s going to run Dawdle through.)
Spry: (raises hands and steps in front of Dawdle) Hey! Stop! Boromir, put that sword down!
Boromir: (obviously angry) Get out of my way or I�ll kill you too!
Spry: Boromir, please just put the sword down.
Boromir: Why should I? I should kill the wretch.
Dawdle: (peeks out from behind Spry) The wretch would like to comment.
Harper: (puts a hand on Boromir�s arm) This isn�t necessary. Boromir, put the sword down.
Boromir: (looks at her) But he�
Harper: (cuts him off) I know. Don�t worry. Spry is here, and all Dawdle wants to do is talk, see? Let�s talk and then maybe you can kill him, alright?
Dawdle: (nods fervently) I like that idea! That�s a good idea!
Boromir: (lowers sword, but is still glaring at Dawdle) Fine. Talk. This had better be good.
(Here we are at the beautiful scenic Golden Hall of Meduseld. Here we see that everyone is having a little pow wow over the two children that Gandalf and Theoden found. The children are sitting at a table eating with Eowyn bothering them. Theoden, Gandalf, Aragorn, Gimli, and Legolas are having a serious discussion over what is going on and Stevie is obviously being left out of the conversation. So, she sits there and has a conversation with the kids.)
Stevie: So, you two have names?
Little Girl: (nods) Yes.
Stevie: Mind telling me what they are?
Little Girl: I�m Freda. (points to Little Boy) This is my big brother, Eothain.
Eothain: Hello. Who are you?
Stevie: Me? I�m Stevie.
Freda: Stevie? That�s a silly name.
Stevie: (shrugs) Silly name for a silly person, I guess.
Eothain: You�re silly? I didn�t think grownups were allowed to be silly.
Stevie: We�ll, I�m not a grownup. I�m just a child.
Freda: You�re awfully big for a child. How old are you?
Stevie: I�m seventeen.
Eothain: You�re not a child! You�re a grown up.
Eowyn: Stevie, these children are right. You are not a child.
Stevie: (raises and eyebrow) Right.
Eowyn: I do not know where you come from, but here, and in most places, when one reaches your age they are considered an adult.
Stevie: Dude. That�s cool. Someone should tell my parents that. No more eleven o�clock curfew!
Eowyn: By your age, most girls are already married.
Stevie: Married?
Eowyn: Of course!
Stevie: Well, you�re not married and you�re older than me. How old are you?
Eowyn: I�m nearly twenty and three. (frowns) I am not married for several reasons. I suppose I haven�t found the right someone yet. Besides, the niece of the King doesn�t marry just anyone.
Stevie: I guess. (turns back to the kids) So, how are you?
Freda: I want Mamma.
Stevie: Fair enough, but there isn�t anything I can do about that right now. Anything else?
Eothain: What is going to happen to us?
Stevie: I�m going to take care of you.
Eothain: For how long?
Stevie: Until you don�t need me to take care of you anymore.
Freda: When will that be?
Stevie: Until we find your mother or until someone else is appointed to care for you.
Freda: You won�t leave us then, will you?
Stevie: I would never think of it. Now I need you both to do me a favor. I want you to go with Eowyn and she will take you off to go get a good night�s sleep. Do as she says, alright?
Eothain: Alright. Come on, Freda.
(The two children and Eowyn go off and Stevie turns back to the guys, who aren�t quite so busy talking now. Legolas notices her watching them and walks over to her. He sits down next to her.)
Stevie: What�s going on?
Legolas: Saruman is sending his army here.
Stevie: Damn. How big?
Legolas: We�re guessing several thousand. We are not sure as of yet.
Stevie: What are we going to do?
Legolas: The King wants us to go to Helms Deep.
Stevie: Crazy old bum. He�s going to get us all killed.
Legolas: We leave tomorrow. Be ready.
Stevie: (sighs) I�m always ready. Ready to get myself killed. Ready, ready, ready. Man, I�m going to sleep. You people suck.
(Stevie gets up and storms out of the room. Legolas watches her leave, and then turns his attention back to the group. Aragorn stares at him quizzically.)
Aragorn: What was that all about?
Legolas: I really wish I knew.
Aragorn: Maybe I should go talk to her.
Legolas: Strangely, I don�t think there is anything to talk about. Let her sleep. It can wait until tomorrow.
Boromir: (still glaring) So you mean to tell me that you kidnapped the girls to hand them over to Saruman and then turn them into your evil minions.
Dawdle: (fidgeting) Um, yeah. Basically.
Boromir: Can I kill him now?
Harper: No, you can�t kill him. Ever. Do I make myself clear?
Boromir: (sighs) When did I allow myself to be ordered about by a lass such as yourself?
Harper: Since the first time you saw me and decided to start hitting on me.
Boromir: What was I thinking?
Harper: I don�t want to know.
Boromir: So you�re certain I can�t kill him?
Harper: I�m positive.
Boromir: Fine. I won�t kill you. But if you ever lay a hand on her, you are dead. Do I make myself clear?
Dawdle: Um�..yes, sir.
Spry: See, that went well.
Harper: Do we�re all cool now?
Spry: Yeah. Sorry about bothering you two. We have things we must do, but we really wanted to come and see you first. Dawdle feels bad about the whole deal.
Boromir: He should.
Harper: Boromir! Hush!
Boromir: Don�t hush me, woman.
Harper: I�ll hush you if I want.
Spry: Um, I think we�re going to get going before you two get into an all out argument.
(Back at Meduseld�again� We see Stevie in her room, lying on the bed. She is just sort of staring at the ceiling when there is a light knock on the door.)
Stevie: Come in.
(In pop the two small figures of Eothain and Freda who are looking more than a little spooked.)
Stevie: (rolling onto her side) Hey, you guys. What�s going on?
Eothain: We couldn�t sleep�..
Freda: I�m scared.
Stevie: You two want to hang out with me to night?
(The two nod their heads. Stevie smiles and moves over into the center of the bed and lifts the covers.)
Stevie: Come on. No big deal.
(The two hop into the bed, Freda lying on Stevie�s left and Eothain on Stevie�s right. The two curl up next to her and after a short while the two drift off to sleep. Stevie stares at the ceiling some more.)
Stevie: (whispering to herself) Man, now I know how Aragorn feels when I do that �hey I�m incredibly adorable so you have to do whatever I want or I�ll pout and look even more adorable and make you feel ridiculously guilty� thing. Only, they don�t do it on purpose.
