I couldn't believe what he was saying. though I heard it, it made no sense, while tring to prosessing it in my head.

"... I still want to be your friend." He finished.

"thats funnie." I replied, laughing. "coz I never want to see you again." I stood up from the bench we were sitting on. Looking at him, one more time, I turned around and left.

My house was just at the top of the hill, but I didn't want to go there. not yet.

I should have known we were going to break up, and I should have known, not to rely on him.
but I didn't. And now I'm paying the price.

walking down the other side of the hill, is my bestfriends house, Alyssa. I needed to talk to her.

Taylor had always brought out the best in me, I thought. When I as with him, I was never depressed. sure there were moments when i felt like dying, but he promised, all I had to do is call him, even if he was busy, and he'd talk to me, he never let me down in that respect.

I knocked on her door, to see her mother anwser it. "Is alyssa home?" I asked. "Oh, shes not home right now. I'll have her call you when she gets back, ok?' Her mom said. I nodded, and smiled grimly. Then headed back to my dreaded house. I always wondered why the world was never as sad as I felt. Taylor said that it was much worse, only I didn't realize it. I didn't believe him then, and I didn't believe him now.

I ran up to my room,and slammed the door. I looked over at my dresser. my mom was standing hunched over my dresser, shuffling through it with her hands.

'LACY!" My mom yluped. as she heard the door opened. "What are you doing home?"

I frowned at my mom. she was going through my dresser, looking for my diary, or thats what it looked like.

"No, your not supposed to ask what i"m doing home." I said, tears choking in the back of my throat. "What are you doing in my room? Looking for my diary?"

"no, of course not." she replied, then grabbed a pair of socks. "I was just putting away your laundry.

"You haven't done my laundry since I was 10, mom." I grimly countered.

She nodded and left quietly. I pulled out my razor, which she hadn't found, and cut my arms four times. i bloted away the blood, until it came out sluggishly, and then cried.