| I was shocked to see Kyles hair lip and the major hernia (it was very big). All I could see was a very sick little baby and my heart ached for him. Soon after he was born, I bathed and dressed him and took photos of him. Because I knew he would more than likely be still-born, I had made a list of photos I wanted of him. The nurses were very good and took photos everytime they came to see me. I wanted to treasure the short time I was to have with him. I never got to look into those lovely little eyes and say I LOVE YOU . I love and miss you Kyle, my son. The Chaplain had come to see Kyle. We prayed over him. I had gone down to the Chapel to see him and he was talking to another of his colleagues. He turned to him and said "Kay has just given birth to a little boy, he is a 'funny' looking thing" - he really hurt me, I couldn't believe what I had heard. I hid the hurt and left as soon as I could. I mentioned it to one of the Midwifes and she told me "he must have not been thinking properly that day". None-the-less, it still hurt me. |
| I went to the hospital the day after I had the scan confirming Kyle was dead on 17th April to be induced. My sister, friend (Flix) and my daughter were with me. It was a very difficult time for me. Flix was to stay overnight and be there for the birth. Tuesday, 18th April, the labour pains really started now (I had been in pain overnight, but not in labour). It was when the labour pains started that I realised just what I had lost. I mean, I felt I was going through 'all this' for nothing and it was so hard for me. If I could have got off the bed, I would have smashed the place up with rage. One minute, I was told that I was 3cm dilated and the next I felt a strong urge to push. I urged Flix to ring the bell for the nurse and just as she came in the room and came to me, Kyle came out with force !!. |
| The Health Visitors had been taking me to my ante-natals and one came with me to the hospital that day. When we got back home, she rang Rl and told him the baby had died and would he go to the hospital with me. He said "No, as far as I am concerned we are finished". He was angry with me for 'phoning his wife and passing the message on to her about the baby. The next day, after Kyle was born, R did turn up at the hospital to see him, I am glad he did. I think he would have regretted it otherwise. The atmosphere was very tense because my family were there and angry with him. I wish they hadn't showny animosity towards him because it made it very difficult for me and for the nurses to deal with. Rl was shown out down the back stairs at my request. I had told the nurses that I didn't want any trouble betweem my family and him, so they were good enough to help him go down the back stairs. I know what he did was wrong in the way he treated me, but I really didn't like the atmosphere in a maternity ward when he came to visit me and Kyle there. |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
|