Indian Jokes

Sardar Laughs..

There was a competition: Those who don't laugh for 100 continuous jokes will get an award. Our surdarji gang, headed by Banta Singh, went to the competition, but unfortunately only one of them got the admission. So Banta, as a representative of surdarjis, went and sat with other competitors. People started telling jokes one by one. Our Banta didn't laugh a bit, though so many others got disqualified. Rest of the surdarjis were so happy after the 98th joke, thinking that they will get their share of prize (since Banta was sent as their representative). But after the 99th joke, Banta started laughing, rolling on the ground. So much that nobody could control him. His surd friends got angry and asked, "kya jee yaar, why didn't you hold your laugh for just another joke?" Banta replied "O yaar, main kya karooon, the Joke Number 1 was too good."

Lion's Son

Once Santa Singh and Banta Singh were going in a car. Santa Singh would not stop at red lights and cross the intersection.
Banta : Santa, why do u do that ?
Santa : Hum sher de puter hain ... ( I am a lion's son)
At the next crossing there was a green light. Santa stopped the car .
Banta : What happened now, it is a green light. Cross the intersection.
Santa : Je duji paseyon koi sher the puter aa jae to. (May be another lion's son is coming from the other direction, where signal is red)

Length vs Width

Two Sardarjis (pilots) try to land an airplane in the States. They start descending and as they touch the ground the pilot scream to the other pilot : "Get the airplane up, the runway is ending...". The second pilot swiftly gets the plane back up in the air... They make a big turn and start descending again. The moment they touch the ground, the pilot scream again "Get the plane up, the runway is ending...". The second pilot swiftly gets the plane back up in the air... They make a big turn and start descending again... This goes on again and again... During their fourth descent the pilot says : "Look at those stupid Americans, they build this huge & expensive airport but with such a short runway...", "I know" answers the second pilot, "But look how wide they made it....."

Marriage Jokes

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.

Crack Jokes

Q: How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
A: Concrete floors are very hard to crack!

Q: If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
A: Very large hands.

Q: How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A: It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with one hand.

Q: If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
A: It becomes wet.

Q: What looks like half apple?
A: The other half.

Q: What gets wet with drying?
A: A towel.

To Home With Love

Dear Dad,
$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.

Love, Your $on.

Dear Son,
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.

Love, Dad

Insults

Here are some cool insults for reading and laughing only. Better don't use them to anybody.

Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental!
Are you always so stupid or is today a special occasion?
As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?
Don't get insulted, but is your job devoted to spreading ignorance?
Keep talking, some day you'll say something intelligent!
Don't you love nature, despite what it did to you?
He has a mechanical mind. Too bad he forgot to wind it up this morning.
He has a mind like a steel trap -- always closed!
He is always lost in thought -- it's unfamiliar territory.
He is dark and handsome. When it's dark, he's handsome.
He is known as a miracle comic. if he's funny, it's a miracle!
He is listed in Who's Who as What's That?
He is a living proof that man can live without a brain!
He is so short, when it rains he is always the last one to know.
I can't talk to you right now; tell me,where will you be in the next 10 years?
I don't know who you are, but whatever you are, I'm sure everyone will agree with me.
Why are you so stupid today? Anyway, I think that's very typical of you.