Thanks Daisy Dee!
11th January 2004
Alfie: You ok?
Kat: My legs are like jelly (glances at Ray) Who's he?
Alfie: They sent a different bloke.I'll explain later.
Kat: Right. Come on then, lets get married!
~*~
Ray: Marriage is the exchange of solem vows. First I have to ask if anyone knows of any lawful (asks Alfie for help reading the words) impedement, then they should declare it now.
(Alfie rasies his hand and the crowd gasps).
Kat: Alfie...
Alfie: I'm sorry.
Kat: What's going on?
Alfie: It's ok. Look I'm really sorry everybody but I need to speak to Kat on her own for a bit.
Kat: Well where we going?
~*~
Kat: What gcouldn't you do to me?
Alfie: Lie to you.
Kat: Well what about?
Alfie: This. All of it. You and me getting married.
Kat: Which is what I thought we were doing until you stuck your hand up.
Alfie: It's not real Kat.
Kat: What isn't real?
Alfie: All of it. Right, I couldn't get my decree absolute yesterday, so the registrar wouldn't marry us, but I didn't want to let you down so-
Kat? So....what?
Alfie: So I set up a fake wedding.
Kat: Fake?
Alfie: Yeah.
Kat: Well what about that registrar bloke.
Alfie: He's a mate.
Kat: You got a mate pretending to marry us?
Alfie: Well like I said Kat, I didn't wanna let you down. I tried to tell you last night but....just hear me out here Kat right, cos when you came round this morning, you were so excited, and I know it's stupid now but I was desperate, and I was gonna tell ya, and then i relised that I couldn't-
Kat: Shut up a minute alright, cos you're doing my head in. Right, so we wouldn't have really been married?
Alfie: No.
Kat: And I wouldn't have known.
Alfie: No.
Kat: I'd have been going round calling myself Mrs Moon when really I wouldn't have been.
Alfie: No.
Kat: So how were you gonna get out of that one?
Alfie: Well i was gonna marry you again but without you knowing.
Kat: And how were you gonna do that?
Alfie: Well I hadn't really thought of that but, listen Kat, we can still get married again alright. All we need to do is wait for the court office to open-
Kat: What makes you think I wanna marry you after this?
Alfie: Well you do, don't ya?
Kat: Alfie, you've just humiliated me in front of everyone.
Alfie: Oh they don't know!
Kat: Alfie, I think they'd know somethings wrong wouldn't you? I mean how many times have you known the groom to stick his hand up and object to his own wedding?!
Alfie: Don't you get it Kat, it's because I love you so much I couldn't go through with it. That must tell you something! Or would you rather start this relationship with me lying to you?
Kat: No! I'd rather you did something right, for once! I mean normal people,they get married, they don't get their mates pretending to be vicars and registars!
Alfie: Kat, I couldn't think of no other way.
Kat: That's you're trouble Alfie, you never think!