My mind is caught in a motionless battle,
A fight over sane or insane, Everyday i hear the rattle,
This war in my head gets badder and bad,
It's gotten me so fucked up this shit drives me mad!!!
This is who i am, This is who I'll be,
To live in my world, This is reality........
I am nothing but a social enemy,
Stuck in a world where two face demons befriends me,
To be shamed from this fuckin world i live in,
To walk among selfish preditors who live in sin,
To be possess by life's only virtue's
Unescapable from volture's out to hurt you,
Violence enters my mind, Viciously fiening to be release,
Yet I find myself still trying to fight my inner peace,
Only to have unvisionable misery brought upon me,
Even tho i only live in this world subcontiously,
I asked myself "How can i escape my own saniity?!?"
"Is this fuckin shiet really a part of humanity?!?"
"Am I as normal as the next?!?"
"Or am i so fuckin twisted and complex?!?"
All this motions of infinite ups and downs, it makes me sick!!
It's got my head repeatedly beating this petrifying tick,
So many questions, I'm so dam confused,
But somehow i find myself to still be amused,
That my own sanity is whats driving me insane,
Cause this world i live in...Is so god dam derrange,
This is who I am, This is who i'll be,
To BE in MY WORLD.....This is My REALITY!!!
MpR BoObiEs
Some look at me and think I'm strong,
But if they looked a bit deeper,
they'd realize they were wrong!!!
for i have a heart made of glass,
easily broken, scarred by my past.
fragile to love, weaken to life,
from stabb wounds cause by a love one's knife.
cracks casue by every heartache,
pain casue by every mistake,
my body is filled with nothing but open wounds,
like how the stars filled the sky under the moon.
hopes and dreams once awaiting to be filled....
life has torn away and has been set to be killed.
sorrow surrounds me, emptiness within me,
tears beside me, Lonliness is me.
This glass heart is broken, it's now too late,
for the pain to set, I slowly await,
drips of blood trails my path,
it leads me towards the aftermath,
my life, my love, my dreams are now SHATTERED,
punctured wounds is now all that mattered.
walkin on glass, breathing in emptiness, living in sorrow,
yet life's cruelty brings me towards another tomarrow,
A never ending, never new........
This so called "LIFE".......I continue.....
MpR BoObiEs
Thursday, 08/09/01
4:23 AM
Dear Reader,
Today i write to u my final letter, in hopes that you recieve this in fair weather. For i have one final plea. I only wish for you to see, that i have finally gotten my wish. To soar the clouds in eternal bliss. To live among angels, to have my own wings. To be immortal among all things. To end my suffering, to start anew. I felt this was something i had to do. I had to leave, this wasn't me. My spirit was trapped, I had to be free. Please forgive me, for what i have done, to go and seek for a new horizon. I can only hope that you will understand. As difficult as it is, I pray that you can. I'm sorry for all the pain that I have caused. For all the precious tears that had been lost. I beg of you, no more tears to be shed, for only my body is truly dead. My heart and soul is still around. Where you find your heart beating is where I'll be found. For I will never truly die. I have alwaze been with you deep down inside. I will be watching you, from way up above. I will be beside you, like a sweet turtle dove. I will be in you, like the warm blood through your veins. I will be with you, that will never change!! Now I've said whats said and you've seen what i see, so now i must go and let u be. So wipe those tears from your eyes, for this is not a farewell nor goodbye. But merely a see u later, and take kare....But alwaze know.....I'll be there!!!
Love Alwaze,
Me
MpR BoObiEs