The Eyes Have It, Part One
special thanks go to LunarJ
LAST TIME: Inuyasha took a job as a mall Santa to help Kagome earn
money for Christmas presents. A chain of events ensued that led up to
Inuyasha getting hit in the eyes with a security guard�s pepper
spray...
A shadowy figure watches the people of Kaede's village interact and
have fun with each other. He is in the forest, positioned out of sight in
a tree. He sees Kaede. He sees Miroku. He glares at Sango for a
second longer than the other two and then he looks to the sky. He is a man
that they have met in the past. He is Hayakage the Ninja Salesman.
Hayakage: I will give them one more day. Just one more
day...
In the modern era, Inuyasha is sitting in a waiting room of an
optometrist's office with Kagome. He wears a baseball cap to cover the canine
ears atop his head. Shippo is also there, skimming through a
Highlights magazine. Inuyasha's eyes are tightly closed as he grunts and
complains.
Inuyasha: I can't see anything! Kagome!
Kagome: That's because your eyes are closed.
Inuyasha: Oh yeah.
Inuyasha opens his eyes, but his vision is blurry.
Inuyasha: I can't see that well! Oh no! What if I have to get
an eye-patch like Kaede!?
Kagome: You won't have to. Just relax. However, it is strange
that the pepper spray is lasting this long. Maybe it's because you�re
not human.
Shippo: Inuyasha can't see?
Kagome shakes her head. Shippo stands in front of Inuyasha, making
funny faces and mocking him. His tongue flails about, his eyes are
crossed, and his hands wiggle around by his ears.
Kagome (giggling): Cut that out.
Inuyasha: What? What's he doing? Damn it, Shippo! I'll kill
you!
Inuyasha tries to hit Shippo but he misses greatly, falling upon the
magazine-covered table before him.
Shippo: Ha ha! It serves you right!
Inuyasha: After we leave here, we're going to go to a
pocky-tolly-jist.
Kagome: You mean "proctologist." And why?
Inuyasha: Because that doctor will have to pull my foot out of
Shippo's a----
Before Inuyasha can finish his profane statement, the doctor's
assistant, a woman named Reiko, opens the door on the far side of the room.
Reiko: Kagome? Dr. Morinaga will see you now.
Kagome: Okay, thank you. Shippo, wait here. Come on,
Inuyasha.
Kagome heads towards the door. Inuyasha follows. Shippo smirks and
purposely trips the blinded dog demon.
Inuyasha: BASTARD!!
Reiko: Um...uh...is he always so loud?
Kagome: He's usually louder.
Kagome grabs Inuyasha by the hand and leads him into the office. All
types of optometric equipment surrounds them. Kagome is impressed at
what she sees. She helps Inuyasha sit down.
Inuyasha: Stop helping me like I'm some old man!
Kagome: Would you rather trip and fall over the place? You're
blind, remember?
Voice: He must be blind. No one who can see would ever wear an
outfit like that one.
Kagome turns around and sees no one.
Voice: Down here, cutie.
Kagome looks down and sees a very short man. He is completely bald and
wears sunglasses. His face is cleanly shaven and his outfit is a
traditional white doctor�s coat over a dress shirt and pants. He is Dr.
Morinaga.
Morinaga: You shouldn't wear such a short skirt. Someone as
short as me can see quite a bit, if you catch my drift.
Kagome blushes and clutches her skirt. She scoots over to the corner.
Morinaga stands on a stool and looks at Inuyasha.
Morinaga: She says that you're blind. If that's true, I hope
that you don�t expect me to perform some sort of holy miracle to restore
your sight.
Inuyasha: FEH! I can see, but only blurry shapes. Some fool at
the mall sprayed me in the eyes with pepper spray days ago.
Morinaga: The effects shouldn't last for too long. Strange.
Well, I'll take a look.
Morinaga brings down a special scope and looks into Inuyasha's
eyes.
Morinaga: Hmm...odd...
Inuyasha: What?
Morinaga: Are you some kind of freak? Your eyes are amber. And
your hair is white.
Inuyasha: SHUT UP!
Morinaga: Ooh...and your teeth. "And Grandma, what big teeth
you have!"
Kagome: Hey! He isn�t the Big Bad Wolf!
Inuyasha: WOLF!? WHERE IS HE?! I'LL KILL KOGA!
Inuyasha stands up quickly, which sends the tiny Dr. Morinaga flying
across the room.
Kagome: Koga isn't here! SIT!
Inuyasha is pulled back to his seat, courtesy of the magic necklace
around his neck. Morinaga brushes himself off and retakes his position
looking into Inuyasha's eyes.
Morinaga: Such a strange pair of people...anyway...what the HELL
is THAT?!
Inuyasha: What?
Morinaga: In your eye...I see a skeleton or something...and
birds flying around...and mountains...and clouds...
Morinaga backs away and rubs his eyes.
Morinaga: Heh, I�ve been drinking too much. Let me look
again.
He looks and sees the gravesite of Inuyasha's father within his eye,
the place where Inuyasha and Sesshomaru had once dueled over the
Tetsusaiga. It was there that Sesshomaru lost his left arm in battle.
Morinaga's eyes widen and sweat rolls down his brow.
Inuyasha: Come on! Say something! Can you fix my eyesight or
not?
Morinaga steps down, says nothing, and slowly walks out of the
room.
Inuyasha: What happened? Where is he?
Kagome: I'm not sure. He looked scared.
In the next room, Morinaga speaks with Reiko.
Reiko: A world inside of his eye?
Morinaga: Yes! I've never seen anything like it.
Reiko: You've been drinking again, haven't you?
Morinaga: Yes...NO! I'm sober! But his eyes aren't normal.
Hell, he himself isn't normal. The kid isn't even wearing shoes!
Reiko: What do you suggest that we do?
Morinaga: I want that freak out of my office!
Reiko: OK. I'll use plan #1456-A.
Morinaga: You're going to dress up like a panda?
Reiko: NO! I said #1456-A, not #1456-B.
Reiko enters the patient�s room holding a pair of oversized
eyeglasses.
Kagome: Are those for him?
Reiko: Uh...yes. Dr. Morinaga says that his sight will return
in about two days. Until then, he must wear these glasses. Under no
circumstances must he remove them. THEY MUST STAY ON. Is that
understood?
Kagome nods. Reiko puts the glasses on Inuyasha. Since his ears are
not on the side of his head, she uses medical tape to have them
stick.
Inuyasha: WHAT THE HELL? My vision is worse than before! I
can't see anything at all!
Reiko: Uh...that's how they're supposed to be. Keep them on for
two days.
Kagome: Thank you. How much do we owe you?
Reiko: Nothing...it's, um, uh, free of charge.
Inuyasha, Kagome, and Shippo all leave together. Shippo makes fun of
Inuyasha's giant glasses.
Shippo: HAHAHA! You look like an owl with those things on!
Inuyasha: You little snot-nosed punk!
Inuyasha runs, thinking that he is chasing Shippo. Shippo is still
standing next to Kagome.
Kagome: ...
Shippo: You think that he'd use his sense of smell or
something.
Inuyasha tumbles down a flight of stairs, cursing and swearing all the
way down.
Kagome: Two more days...just two more days...
TO BE CONTINUED
NEXT TIME: Inuyasha returns to the feudal era with his new
eyeglasses. He can't see a thing, not even his hand in front of his
face...which is a really bad thing right now. Hayakage the Ninja Salesman returns
and he doesn't plan on showing any mercy towards his blinded adversary!
Next time..."The Eyes Have It: Part Two of Two"