The Next World
Part Six - Inuyasha vs. Osoroshi
Scene Selection
Bothered by Kanki (scroll down)
A Heroic Entrance
Vengeance
The Face of Evil
Showdown
Sesshomaru and Kikyo wander around the caves, unsure of where to
go.
Sesshomaru: I wish there was a map or something.
Kikyo: Yes. All evil villains have MAPS for their ENEMIES to
use.
Sesshomaru: I detect sarcasm.
A small voice, that of a female child, calls to them from the end of a
long tunnel to their right.
Voice: Yoo-hoo! Down here! Tee-hee-hee!
Sesshomaru: I hate children! After her!
Kikyo: Then why do you have Rin? Oh never mind...
Kikyo runs after Sesshomaru, who has already reached the end of the
tunnel. They enter a large room. Not much is special about the room
except for the door at the opposite end and the skylight up above. There
is another door to the right. The floor is made of marble, also worth
noting.
Sesshomaru: Where did she go?
Voice: Up here!
Oh yeah. There's a balcony above the door. That should have been
noted before. Oops. The girl is Kanki, the young golden-haired chef for
the Ketsugun.
Kanki: Hello!
Kikyo: Little girl, we seek the ones who killed Inuyasha! Bring
them to us at once!
Kanki: No.
Kikyo: Yes.
Kanki: No.
Kikyo: Yes.
Kanki: Yes.
Kikyo: N---I'm not falling for that! Bring them here!
Kanki shrugs her shoulders and the door beneath her opens wide. Kotori
rides on Kyojin's shoulder as the giant walks in.
Kotori: These are the ones that the master wants us to kill?
This job is way too easy. But check out the babe, brother. Yeah!
Kyojin: I know, the fluffy thing is so cute!
Kotori: Um, I was talking about the chick.
Kyojin: Right! Of course! Heh heh...
Sesshomaru: Enough! Have at you!
Sesshomaru draws Tokijin.
Kikyo: Your sword is useless. Only pure energy will kill
them.
Sesshomaru pauses and sniffs the air.
Kikyo: What is it?
Sesshomaru: I smell...no...it can't be...and...whew! I also
smell urine!
Inuyasha crashes through the skylight above with Kagome mounted on his
back.
Kikyo: INUYASHA!
Sesshomaru: TETSUSAIGA!
Inuyasha: Guess who's back from the dead?
Kyojin: Ooh! I know! Um, uh...could you make this multiple
choice? My head hurts now.
Kotori: Shut up, you fool! Inuyasha, we killed you! How did
you come back?
Inuyasha: OK, go get some snacks and I'll tell you all...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sesshomaru (eating popcorn): So, you beat up THE DEVIL and used
his horns as giant chopsticks?
Kagome (slurps a soda): You stopped a spiritual war between
Heaven and Hell by volunteering to become a sacrifice?
Inuyasha: Yep.
Sesshomaru: I have a feeling that you're lying. I bet they got
annoyed with you and kicked you out or something.
Inuyasha: SHUT UP! What do you know?
Kotori: As entertaining as that story was, we have a job to do!
Let's finish them, Kyojin!
The demonic brothers stand up. Kotori is picked up by Kyojin for the
same attack that finished Inuyasha last time.
Inuyasha: Everyone stand back, they're all mine!
Kyojin raises his brother over his head. Kotori draws his sword.
Inuyasha unsheathes Tetsusaiga, now glowing with a pure white hue. He
points to the wall, much like a baseball player would for predicting a home
run. Inuyasha takes the stance of a batter, choking up on
Tetsusaiga.
Kotori: He's cocky, isn't he?
Kyojin: You have a dirty mouth, brother.
Kotori blinks and shakes his head. Kyojin launches Kotori, sending him
towards Inuyasha. Inuyasha smirks and swings Tetsusaiga. It hits
Kotori, killing him upon impact and he bounces backward, tearing through
Kyojin's abdomen. The giant topples over, dead as a doornail.
Inuyasha: BASTARDS! WIND SCAR!!!
The gigantic wave of pure energy reduces Kotori and Kyojin into ashes.
They are no more.
Inuyasha: I hope they like the Great Urine Lake.
Kagome: What?
Inuyasha: Nothing.
There is applause from the balcony. Standing next to Kanki is Shoshin.
She smirks, glaring at the group.
Shoshin: Well done. I never liked those two. You did me a
favor by killing them.
Inuyasha: You're Osoroshi? But you're a woman!
Shoshin: Grrr...I am Shoshin, Osoroshi's personal assistant!
Sesshomaru: Shoshin? Interesting name. May I ask why you have
it?
(NOTE: Shoshin means "broken heart")
Shoshin looks at Kagome for a moment, says nothing, and looks at
Inuyasha.
Sesshomaru: Answer me.
Shoshin: Inuyasha, my master is not pleased with your return to
life.
Sesshomaru: I asked you a question.
Inuyasha: FEH! Bring him out here! He won't be pleased when I
stick my foot up his butt!
Shoshin: We shall see.
Sesshomaru: Hello? I was talking to you!
The door below the balcony opens again. Down a long hallway, a shadowy
figure can be seen approaching. It is Osoroshi.
Inuyasha: Here he comes. If the stories that I heard are true,
he's gotta be butt-ugly!
Osoroshi enters and is fully visible. He is no taller than Inuyasha
and has long black hair tied into a braid. The braid rests over his left
shoulder. His pointy ears are pierced several times with numerous
rings jingling as he walks. His eyes are a shade of yellow. His face is
that of a young boy, looking no older than the age of 16. There are no
flaws on his well-toned body, from the dark hair on his head to his
all-black kimono down to the sandals on his feet.
Kagome and Kikyo: WOW!!!!!!!
Shoshin (sighing): Here he is, the great Osoroshi.
Sesshomaru: You're ignoring me, aren't you Shoshin? Fine!
Inuyasha: What?! I expected a monster! Like a giant mutant
camel or something.
Osoroshi: Funny, a giant mutant camel is a member of the
Ketsugun...
The door on the right opens and there is a giant camel, frothing at the
mouth, one eye larger than the other. Its fur looks like is hasn't
been combed or brushed in years. Her name is Rakuda.
Inuyasha: AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!! CAMEL!
Osoroshi: Get Rakuda out of here, little sister.
Kanki jumps down from the balcony and takes Rakuda away. Rakuda
twitches and growls all the way down the hall until she is gone
completely.
Kikyo: Excuse me, Your Hotness.
Osoroshi: Hotness?
Kikyo: Instead of "Highness", hee hee. Why did you appear after
being dormant for 10,000 years?
Inuyasha: And send those goons after me?
Kagome: And that note? "You're sad now, but happiness will
come to you in time."
Osoroshi: Since it is an unwritten law for a villain to explain
everything, I will answer your questions. Number one: 10,000 years
ago, myself and my crew were locked away in these caves by a powerful
woman, who I call "Super Wench" out of spite. Super Wench used a spell
based on the fabric of time to keep us locked away. All things in life
change, but time always moves in the same way. As long as time remained
unchanged, we would be locked in here. Several disturbances have
affected the balance of time. We noticed that they were minor at first.
One or two people would travel between this era and the future. Those
didn't cause too much damage. But then several people traveled through
time on a regular basis...
Kagome: Oh no! It must be because of the Jerry Springer show
and that court hearing!
Inuyasha: Oops.
Osoroshi: "Oops" indeed. Those were enough to shift the balance
of time and break the lock on the cave. We were free again. Answer
#2. I needed a wife. My last wife died while choking on some sushi. I
sent Kamenmaru, a master of disguise, to look around. He spotted
Kagome and reported to me. She sounded perfect...except that she had a
boyfriend. I then decided that he should be killed so that Kagome would be
all mine.
Kagome: Everyone seems to like me. Inuyasha, Koga, Hojo,
Osoroshi...
Kagome turns to Sesshomaru.
Sesshomaru: Don't look at me. I didn't inherit my father's
"human fetish" like CERTAIN dog demons in here...
Inuyasha: BASTARD!
Osoroshi: AHEM! To answer question #3, I will make Kagome happy
forever as my bride.
Shoshin sighs.
Inuyasha: LIKE HELL YOU WILL! KAGOME DOESN'T LOVE YOU!
Kagome looks at Osoroshi, blushing and feeling weak in the knees. She
shakes the feeling off.
Kagome: That's right! Inuyasha and I are an inseparable couple!
Like Romeo and Juliet! Cinderella and Prince Charming!
Inuyasha: Sour Cream and Onion!
Osoroshi: So, you WON'T be mine?
Kagome: Damn, you're hot...uh...I mean, NO!
Osoroshi: Then no one will have you. You shall die.
Inuyasha swipes Tetsusaiga.
Inuyasha: WIND SCAR!!
Nothing happens.
Inuyasha: What the hell?!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Large Light: Maybe I should have told him that the pure energy
was for a limited time only.
Small Light: Nah, I'm sure he'll figure it out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Osoroshi forms a barrier around him, encasing himself inside of a large
ball. He raises his hand and tosses Inuyasha aside by using psychic
power. Sesshomaru and Kikyo are thrown as well.
Osoroshi: You are all nothing compared to me. I am a god among
men.
He turns his attention to Kagome and walks towards her. After her
sacred arrow bounces off of the barrier, she starts to run.
Osoroshi: I can't bring myself to kill you. Even the way you
run is beautiful.
Inuyasha uses this time to catch Osoroshi off-guard. He jumps up and
kicks Osoroshi's sphere-like barrier and it rolls along the smooth
floor.
Osoroshi: WHAT?! STOP! I'M GETTING DIZZY!!!
Inuyasha kicks it again and the ball rolls down the hallway. Osoroshi
screams, rolling until he reaches the room where Kanki is with Rakuda.
Rakuda bounces him and the barrier around like a toy, forcing him to
puke within his confinement.
Inuyasha: Heh. That's how you take care of that.
Shoshin: My lord! I'll get the baby wipes!
She runs after him, leaving Inuyasha and the others behind.
Sesshomaru: Answer some questions next time, you harlot!
Inuyasha: I doubt that he'll be a problem anymore. At least
until the next time the author decides to use him. Let's go home. I need
a bath.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Inuyasha, Kagome, Shippo, Sango, Kirara and Miroku all have a picnic
together to celebrate the win over Osoroshi and the return of
Inuyasha.
Miroku: It's good to have you back.
Shippo: Isn't lying a sin, Miroku?
Miroku bonks Shippo. Just then, Naraku and a large army of demons
march forward.
Naraku: With Inuyasha dead, no one will stop us from rampaging
all over the land! Victory is--
Naraku sees Inuyasha. Inuyasha sees Naraku. There is a long awkward
silence.
Naraku: Hmm. There is a change of plans. Back to the
castle!
The forces of evil turn around and go home. Inuyasha shakes his head.
Kagome leans over and hugs him tightly.
THE END
Koga: Hello? Does anyone have a pair of baggy red pants that I
can borrow? Please?
NEXT TIME: It's Christmas in Japan and Kagome needs money to buy
gifts for her family and friends. Don�t worry, it's Inuyasha to the
rescue as he gets a job to help her get the money she needs. Inuyasha dons
the red and white suit of Santa Claus. That�s right, Inuyasha will be
a mall Santa. Next time... "I Saw Mommy Kicking Santa Claus!"
The Known Members of the Ketsugun (listed by rank, #1 is the
highest)
1) Osoroshi - enigmatic leader of the group
2) Shoshin - woman who works as Osoroshi's personal assistant, has a
crush on him
3) Kamenmaru - masked man, master of disguise
4) ??????
5) ??????
6) ??????
7) ??????
8) Bill - foreign exchange demon from Great Britain (deceased)
9) Kotori - small demon that resembles a bird (deceased)
10) Kyojin - Kotori's brother; very large (deceased)
11) Rakuda - giant mutant camel
12) Kanki - little girl who cooks, Osoroshi's younger sister