The Next World

Part Three - All Hell Breaks Loose

Scene Selection

Lady and the Fluff (scroll down)

Sesshomaru is making his way through the forests of feudal Japan. His goal: find the home of Osoroshi and destroy everyone in sight. Unfortunately, he doesn't know where the cave is.

Sesshomaru: I should have thought about that before I left. Oops.

He stands in one place, wondering what he should do next. At that moment, a strange scent reaches his nose.

Sesshomaru: Fee Fi Fo Fum, I smell the blood of a dead woman.

Kikyo stands behind him.

Kikyo: I'm not sure how you smelled a dead woman's blood. There is no blood in my body.

Sesshomaru: Not you, that dead woman over there.

Sesshomaru points to a dead body in the bushes.

Kikyo: My mistake.

Sesshomaru: So, Claydie Kikyo, what business do you have with me?

Kikyo: "Claydie?"

Sesshomaru: Yes, instead of "Lady", I'll call you "Claydie" because you're made of clay.

Kikyo: Ugh. I've heard that your brother was killed. I am out to seek revenge on the ones who killed him.

Sesshomaru: And you came to me? Why?

Kikyo: Your nose. You can pick up their scent and lead me to those monsters. They'll regret killing the man that I love...

Sesshomaru: I've been trying to find their home, but I do not know what they smell like.

Kikyo: Oh, this is great. Just great. How are we supposed to find them? It�s not like they'll have a giant sign that says where they are.

Sesshomaru looks above Kikyo and, lo and behold, there is a giant sign. It reads:

"OSOROSHI'S LAIR AND INTERCONTINENTAL HOUSE OF CHICKEN AND WAFFLES: APPROXIMATELY 1.5 KILOMETERS WEST OF HERE. YES, WE'RE THE ONES WHO KILLED INUYASHA. BE SURE TO TRY OUR NEW WAFFLE PLATTER."

Sesshomaru: I wonder how much those waffles are.

Kikyo: It doesn't matter. After we kill them, we'll take the waffles for free.

Sesshomaru nods and starts to walk. Kikyo follows after him.

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Down in the bowels of Hell, Inuyasha is dragged by the small demon and thrown into a small, dark room.

Demon: OK, smart guy. Your suffering begins here. HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Inuyasha: Turn on the lights. I can't see.

Demon: No! The darkness will scare you for all of time! It's the DARKNESS FROM HELL!

Inuyasha: I'm not afraid of the dark.

Demon: You're not?

Inuyasha: Nope.

Demon: Crap!

The demon turns on the lights. The room is very plain. A wooden floor is beneath the pair. There are no windows; just black walls.

Inuyasha: You guys must really be suffering a budget cut. There isn't anything in here.

Demon: Shut up! I'll be right back with another punishment for you.

The small demon grumbles and walks away after locking the door. Inuyasha sits down on the floor and waits. He gets impatient really quickly and starts to yell.

Inuyasha: HEY! Let's get this show on the road!

No answer.

Inuyasha: Hello? I know I'm supposed to be here for all eternity, but hurry it up!

Still no answer.

Inuyasha: Oh...I get it. My punishment is to sit in here and do nothing. Is that it?

Demon (voiceover): Damn it! How did you know?

Inuyasha: Some people would rather be dead than be bored for an extensive period of time. This is so lame...

Demon (voiceover): How dare you call the BOREDOM FROM HELL lame? That's it! You've asked for it! Prepare to suffer!

A hole opens in the ceiling opens up. Inuyasha looks up into it.

Inuyasha: What the--?

A foul smelling liquid pours down from the hole and fills the room. Inuyasha is completely submerged in the rancid material. The small demon laughs with sadistic glee.

Demon (voiceover): Do you know what this is?

Inuyasha: It smells...and tastes...like rotten milk!

Demon (voiceover): HAHAHA! That's right! It's the ROTTEN MILK FROM HELL!! I hope that you find this to be very uncomfortable!

Inuyasha: FEH! I admit that this is highly disgusting, but you can do better than this.

Demon (voiceover): Huh?

Inuyasha: I mean, come on. Rotten milk? Darkness? Boredom? You're really soft, you know that?

Demon (voiceover): ARGH! I've had it with you, kid!

The rotten milk is drained through a large hole in the floor. Inuyasha is also pulled into the hole. He is sent through a series of pipes. Inuyasha rolls around inside of the moldy tubing for what seems to be a lifetime. Eventually, he is released inside of a large room that looks like an arena of some sort. The small demon stands before him.

Demon: HA! I bet you didn't like that! That was the DRAINPIPE FROM HELL!!!

Inuyasha: That...was...AWESOME! I really liked the second drop. Sweet, totally sweet!

Demon: ......

Inuyasha shakes himself dry, sending drops of rotten milk everywhere.

Demon: Hey! Watch it! Anyway, this will be your new punishment!

Inuyasha: What?

Demon: You'll face all of the enemies that you've destroyed. They'd like some revenge! THE REVENGE FROM HELL!! HAHAHAHA!

The little demon scurries away. Inuyasha blinks and waits.

Demon (under breath): Take this, you bastard...

He pushes a button and a door at the opposite end of the arena opens up. A small twisted batch of wind, not unlike a tornado, zooms in and knocks Inuyasha to the ground. The tornado repeatedly knocks him around, bouncing Inuyasha off the ceiling and walls. The half-demon resembles an oversized red pinball after a certain point. The tornado stops: it is Jodanmaru, the crazy incarnation of Naraku that forced Inuyasha and the others into playing a strange game inside of a cave a few months ago.

Inuyasha (dazed): Oh...uh...um...wait, who are you?

Jodanmaru: I'm Jodanmaru! It is time for you to pay for what you did to me!

Inuyasha: What did I do?

Jodanmaru: You killed me!

Inuyasha: I don't remember that. I kill lots of demons.

Jodanmaru: I know! There are about 3000 demons in the back that want to kick the crap out of you! We put all of our names in a hat and there was a drawing. Guess who won?

Inuyasha: You.

Jodanmaru: I won, you idiot----oh, you got it right. Oops. Now, it's time to pay the piper!

Inuyasha: I killed a piper too?

Jodanmaru: It's an expression! I've waited a long time for this, Inuyasha. Get ready!

Jodanmaru disappears. Inuyasha looks around for him, but can't find him. Jodanmaru reappears behind Inuyasha and sticks his hands down the half-demon's pants. He pulls up his underwear really tight and slaps it over his face.

Demon: THE WEDGIE FROM HELL! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Jodanmaru: REVENGE IS MINE!

With that done, the loony demon runs around, laughing manically, and leaves the arena. Inuyasha struggles to undo the wedgie.

Inuyasha: That bastard! Just wait until I...

Demon: He's done. Now, you'll face not one, not two, but SEVEN opponents! The SEVEN GUYS---

Inuyasha: THE SEVEN GUYS FROM HELL!! I know! Damn it!

The door opens again. In walk seven of Inuyasha's past foes: Bankotsu, Jakotsu, Renkotsu, Suikotsu, Ginkotsu, Mukotsu and Kyokotsu...the Band of Seven.

Bankotsu: Inuyasha! Wow! What are you doing here?

Renkotsu: Fool! Didn't you pay attention! This is our chance to get revenge!

Jakotsu: Or get a second chance at love! Hi Inuyasha! You look sexy with your underwear over your face like that! MEOW!

Inuyasha: AAAAH!!

Inuyasha pulls the underwear off his face and is back to normal.

Inuyasha: You guys! I'm not afraid; I'll kill you all again!

Mukotsu: You never killed me. That was your brother. I don't really want revenge on you.

Suikotsu: Me neither.

Kyokotsu: I want that wolf in the dress! Is he dead? Please let him be dead! PLEASE!

Ginkotsu burps.

Renkotsu: Come to think of it...

Renkotsu turns to Bankotsu.

Renkotsu: IT WAS YOU WHO KILLED ME! YOU PIECE OF CRAP!

Bankotsu: So I did. What are you going to do about it, cueball?

Renkotsu punches Bankotsu in the jaw. Bankotsu kicks him back in the abdomen. The two men start to fight furiously with each other. Mukotsu and Kyokotsu start to make bets on who will win. Suikotsu uses a newly-installed microwave in Ginkotsu's chest to heat up some Hot Pockets. Jakotsu nuzzles against Inuyasha.

Jakotsu: We can be together forever now!

Inuyasha: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Demon: Finally! Now he's really suffering!

Inuyasha grabs Jakotsu and twirls him around. He lets him go and Jakotsu crashes into Suikotsu. Suikotsu slams into Ginkotsu, breaking him into pieces. As he falls apart, the microwave door opens. The two Hot Pockets inside come flying out and they hit Kyokotsu in the face. Kyokotsu tries to wipe the piping hot sausage and pepperoni treat out of his eyes and staggers around. He stomps on Mukotsu, trips, and falls on top of Bankotsu and Renkotsu, crushing them beneath his mass.

Demon: No...frickin'...way!

All seven men are down. Inuyasha is the only one left standing.

Inuyasha: What a bunch of weirdoes.

The small demon can't believe what is happening. He trembles and starts to back away. Right behind him is a much larger demon, about the size of an adult woman. Her skin is as black as night. Her eyes: a bloody shade of red. In fact, her eyes are the only thing on her body that are not black. Her clothing, her hair, her lips...all black. She is aptly named "Kuro."

Kuro: You're an amateur. I'll give him the torment that he deserves.

Demon: I can handle this, Kuro! Just give me a bit more time!

Kuro's right hand glows. A ball of energy renders the small demon into cinders. He is no more.

Inuyasha: You can die down here? I thought that--

Kuro: Silence! Playtime is over!

Inuyasha: Jeez, what crawled up your butt and died?

Kuro glares at Inuyasha and slowly walks towards him...

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Sesshomaru and Kikyo reach Osoroshi's cave.

Sesshomaru: Ladies first.

Kikyo: You go first.

Sesshomaru: I insist.

Kikyo: Are you afraid?

Sesshomaru: Are you?

Kikyo: I asked you first.

Sesshomaru: But I'm older than you.

Kikyo: So?

Sesshomaru: Go first. I'll be right behind you.

Kikyo: You go first.

Sesshomaru: That's OK. You go on in.

Kikyo: You're scared, aren't you?

Sesshomaru: There is nothing that I am afraid of.

Kikyo: Then go inside the cave.

Sesshomaru: I will. But you go first.

Kikyo: ARGH! I'll go inside the cave first. Happy now?

Sesshomaru: Not really. You should have went in the first time that I asked.

Kikyo rolls her eyes and walks into the cave. Sesshomaru follows behind her.

Kikyo: If you aren't afraid, why did you insist that I come inside the cave first?

Sesshomaru: I like telling people what to do. I order, you obey.

Kikyo sighs and the duo continue to walk deeper into the darkness of Osoroshi's home...

TO BE CONTINUED

NEXT TIME: Sesshomaru and Kikyo run into one of Osoroshi's minions inside of the cave. Deep down in Hell, Inuyasha goes one-on-one with the coldhearted Kuro. Also, Koga feels that now is the time to make Kagome become his girl! Be here for "The Next World pt. 4: The Darkness of Kuro!"