Anger Management pt.3
What's Love Got to Do With It?
On the other side of the compound, Dr. Iwamoto has Megumi pair the students off for
an exercise in cooperation. Koga is with Kaori (who won�t stop talking to Koga),
Kikyo is with Tetsuo (who tries to eat her), Jaken is with Sakura (who is crying over
his feminine name), and Inuyasha is by himself. The half-demon glares at Iwamoto
and Megumi.
Inuyasha: Hey, why am I all by myself?
Iwamoto: Because I think you work best alone.
Inuyasha rolls his eyes and gives the doctor the "bird". Iwamoto sighs.
Iwamoto: Koji...
He looks around.
Iwamoto: Koji? When I sigh and say your name, you're supposed to hit
someone with the fish! Where are you? KOJI!
Megumi gets worried and calls for Koji too. Inuyasha smirks and sits on the grass.
Just then, Koji appears. His eyes are no longer brown but a nasty shade of crimson.
The tall demon walks towards Inuyasha. He lifts him by his hair and throws him
upward. Koji jumps into the air and kicks Inuyasha to the ground. The impact
creates a crater that Inuyasha slowly climbs out of. Kikyo thinks of helping Inuyasha,
but she doesn't have her bow. Koga smiles and doesn't even think of helping
Inuyasha. Iwamoto can't believe what he is seeing.
Iwamoto: KOJI! STOP! USE THE FISH! You're acting like you want to kill
him!
Koji smiles and raises Inuyasha over his head. Like a professional wrestler, Koji
body slams Inuyasha onto the grass and stomps him repeatedly in the stomach until
he starts to cough up blood. An evil laugh fills the air. Everyone turns their attention
to Naraku, who is watching from nearby. He is eating a box of "Samoans" Girl Scout
cookies that Kanna sold to him earlier. Kagura is with him; she stands as Naraku
sits in a lawn chair.
Naraku (with crumbs flying from his mouth): Beat him down, Koji!
Inuyasha coughs and looks at his nemesis.
Inuyasha: Naraku?! I should have known that you had something to do with
this. Don't you have anything better to do than annoy me all the time?
Naraku: Uh...um...er...oh...let's see...hmmm....eh...not really.
Iwamoto: Wait, wait, wait. Aren't you the guy who tried to mutilate my
sister's horse the other day?
Naraku: Maybe. I mutilate lots of horses. And hens. And cattle. Now
shut up, I'm missing the action.
Koji uses a crushing elbow on Inuyasha�s head.
Naraku: HAHAHAHAHAHA! This is priceless! Kagura, are you taping
this?
Kagura is holding a camcorder, undoubtedly one of the things Naraku stole from his
trip to the future (see
"Inuyasha & Kagome Appear on the Jerry Springer
Show").
Kagura: Yep.
Iwamoto screams at Koji.
Iwamoto: I KNOW ALL ABOUT INUYASHA AND HIS POWERS! HE'S NOT
USELESS WITHOUT TETSUSAIGA! IF YOU DON'T STOP THIS, HE'LL--
Too late. Inuyasha sits up. His eyes are blood-red and his claws are fully extended.
He has transformed into his demon form. Koji stops and stares in horror. Inuyasha
mercilessly claws into Koji, slicing at him with all of his might. If Koji's skin weren't
indestructible, he'd surely be killed. Inuyasha's strength has increased, so he throws
Koji around like he did to him before.
Naraku: Kagura, cut this part out.
Megumi is worried about Koji and she looks at her father.
Megumi: Can't you stop him?
Iwamoto: No. Only Kagome can stop him when he's like this.
Koji's skin is not as indestructible as once thought, seeing as he is now cut and
bleeding from the attacks of Inuyasha. Inuyasha stands over him, ready to deliver
the final blow. Megumi runs and stands in front of him.
Megumi: NO! You can't kill Koji!
Inuyasha doesn't say a word and he stares at Megumi.
Megumi: I won't let you...since I...I...I love him...
Koji's eyes widen in shock. So do Iwamoto's. Megumi lowers her head.
Megumi: If you kill him, you'll have to kill me too.
Inuyasha shrugs and nods as if he was saying "OK". He raises his claw and
then...
Kagome: SIT BOY!
Inuyasha falls face first to the ground. Kagome runs up and joins the group.
Iwamoto: Kagome?
Kikyo: YOU!
Sakura: My parents hate me. That's it. That's why they named their son
Sakura...
Koga: Kagome! Hey baby!
Tetsuo: I'm still hungry.
Kaori: Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God!!! I love the outfit! It's so unique!
It's, like, so awesome! Way better than this dingy old kimono I'm wearing! And it
looks so comfortable. I mean, like, on a hot day, that short dress can really keep you
cool. And I love your hair! Like, how do you get it like that? I must learn your secret!
Ooh, and how do--
Group (in unison): SHUT UP!
Inuyasha stands up. He gets in Kagome's face.
Inuyasha: WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
Kagome: I sensed a shard of the Sacred Jewel and I was led here.
Just then, a saimyosho flies in and grabs the shard off of Koji's body and takes it to
Naraku. Naraku steps forward.
Naraku: My mother always told me that if I want something done right, I
should do it myself.
Inuyasha: You don�t have a mother.
Naraku: Oh yeah. Well, time for you to die anyway.
Iwamoto smiles.
Iwamoto: I don't think so. Koji...
Koji stands up as quick as lightning and repeatedly hits Naraku with the large fish.
Naraku slips away, rubbing the lumps on his head.
Naraku: What kind of
idiot uses a fish as a weapon?
Iwamoto: Oh, you prefer something more traditional? ARCHERS!
The same archers that shot at Koga from the trees unload their ammunition into
Naraku. He is now the equivalent of a walking pincushion. Kagura laughs and
records the moment with the camera.
Kagura (under her breath): No, Naraku. THIS is priceless!
Naraku runs away as a swarm of arrows follow after him. Kagura finishes recording
and flies away on her giant feather. Kikyo sees Kagome near Inuyasha and then
Megumi near Koji. She walks away.
Kikyo: It appears that both men who lusted after me have found others.
Oh well. I'll just go look in the "Personals" section...
The priestess heads off to find a newspaper.
Kagome: Dr. Iwamoto? What was going on here?
Iwamoto: Do not worry. This actually went better than I could have ever
dreamed!
He opens his notebook.
Iwamoto: I feel that I can give Inuyasha his diagnosis now.
Inuyasha: My what?
Iwamoto: Never mind. Inuyasha, I have studied you and here is what
I've learned. Whether it is friend, family, or foe, you cannot stop yourself from getting
angry with them. You have no sense of self-control. Not only that, your inability to
choose between two lovers is driving you insane. You also have a problem with
taking criticism. You let small words ruin your composure. And if the person you are
quarreling with is significantly smaller than you are, you do not hesitate to hit them.
I highly recommend that you relocate and isolate yourself in the mountains and live
there for the rest of your life.
Inuyasha: WHAT?!
Kagome: You can't say that! Inuyasha can't leave me--uh--us!
Iwamoto: I'm serious. He can't get along with anyone. He feels that
everyone else is the problem, but in reality, it is he who is the problem.
Inuyasha: No! I don't want to leave Kagome!
Iwamoto: Why not? You don't act like you care for her. You're always
yelling at the poor girl.
Koga: She deserves better! Like me!
Iwamoto: Koji...
Koji smacks Koga with the fish.
Inuyasha: I can't be away from Kagome...what if I never get angry ever
again? Well?
Iwamoto: That's impossible, especially for you...
Inuyasha: PLEASE?
Iwamoto: You're willing to change, just for her?
Inuyasha: Yes...anything...
Kagome blushes.
Iwamoto: Um, all right. Uh...I feel it is best that you now spend time with your
friends. Yeah...that's it. So, you are free to go. Megumi, go retrieve Tetsusaiga and
return it to Inuyasha.
Soon, Inuyasha has his weapon back. Kagome clings to his arm as they walk home.
Iwamoto, Megumi and Koji (while holding hands) stand in front of the compound and
watch them leave.
Megumi: Do you honestly think he's ready to leave here?
Iwamoto: Of course not. He's a lost cause. I give him 30 minutes, 45 at the
most, before he gets angry again. I just wanted him to go, which is why I didn't
charge them for my services. With him berating all of the other patients, how am I
supposed to make any progress with them?
Hours later, a familiar couple heads to the compound. It's Sango, dragging Miroku
by the ear. She knocks on the door and is greeted by Iwamoto and Megumi.
Iwamoto: Yes?
Sango: I hear that you fix problems. This dirty monk is a lecher and a
pervert. Fix him!
Miroku: I am not dirty and I am not a lecher or a pervert!
He sees Megumi.
Miroku: Whoa. Excuse me Miss, what nice hips you have! Would you like
to bear my child?
Megumi and Sango both slap him.
Sango: See what I mean?
Iwamoto: Yes. Koji, get the fish. I think this will take a while.
THE END