Anger Management pt.1
Interview with a Dog Demon
Our story begins in Kaede's village. It is a peaceful day. Everything is calm...but the
tranquility is quickly broken by a series of angry grunts. They are coming from the
half-demon known as Inuyasha. He is smashing large rocks with his sword, the
Tetsusaiga, just on the outskirts of the village.
Inuyasha: Stupid Kagome! Always bossing me around!
Inuyasha jabs the sword into the ground and places his hands on his hips. He mocks
Kagome.
Inuyasha (in a high pitched voice): Inuyasha! Don't be so mean! Inuyasha!
Don't hurt Shippo! Inuyasha! You can't use that towel, it's for display only! FEH!
Looking on from some nearby bushes are Kagome, Miroku, Sango, Shippo and Kilala.
They all blink nervously, awestruck by the way Inuyasha struts around like a female.
Not wanting to be found, they kept their voices low. Due to Inuyasha's super sense
of smell, Sango masked their scent with some powder she had mixed earlier that
day.
Shippo: He's talking to himself...
Miroku: And he's walking around like a woman...a very unattractive woman...
with dog ears...
Sango: He's been getting angrier and angrier lately. I think it's only a matter
of time before he completely snaps...wait, what's he doing now?
Inuyasha goes behind a tree and pulls out a small effigy made to look like Shippo.
He holds it up and plays with it like a puppet.
Puppet: You're so dumb, Inuyasha! I'm way cooler and cuter than you!
Inuyasha: OH YEAH? Let's see how cool and cute you are now, you little
piece of crap!
He throws the puppet into the air and leaps after it, extending his razor-sharp claws.
Inuyasha: IRON REAVER, SOUL STEALER!!
The puppet is torn into shreds, pieces of cloth and stuffing fall to the ground below.
The team looks very nervous, especially Shippo.
Shippo: He wants to kill me! Kagome! I don�t want to die!
Kagome: Shhh...you won't die. Something needs to be done about his
temper.
A voice softly calls to them from behind. It's Kaede.
Kaede: Oh, there ye be. I was wondering...is that Inuyasha?
They all nod with disappointment. Kaede squints her only eye.
Kaede: What the devil is he doing?
Inuyasha is now punching an effigy made to look like Kaede. He kicks it a
few times. Once again, he mocks his "victim".
Puppet: What are ye doing? Why are ye kicking me? Ye must stop! YE!
YE!
Inuyasha bites its face, yanking the head from the neck. Inuyasha tosses the
head aside and stomps on the body several times before burying it in a hole. The
real Kaede grinds her teeth.
Kaede: Grrr...of all the nerve. The lad needs help. May I suggest that ye
give him an intervention?
Kagome: An intervention?
Kaede: Aye. We had to give one to one of the Kojima brothers last week.
He has a problem with eating his toenails...
Group (in unison): EWWWW!
Inuyasha hears this and turns to the bush.
Inuyasha: Who's there?!
They realize that they've been caught and emerge from the bush.
Inuyasha: Kagome? What's going on?
Kaede looks to Kagome.
Kaede: Do it now, child. Do it before he gets worse.
Kagome sighs.
Kagome: Inuyasha...you have an anger problem. We want you to get some
sort of help.
Inuyasha: Anger? I'm not angry! Who's angry? I'M NOT ANGRY!
He clenches his fists and threatens to hit something. Miroku holds up his right
hand.
Miroku: I don't want to do this, but I will suck you into my Wind Tunnel
unless you get help.
Inuyasha: JUST YOU TRY IT, MONK! I�LL BEAT YOUR FACE SO HARD,
YOU�LL BE UGLIER THAN TOTOSAI! NO WOMAN WILL WANT TO BEAR YOUR
KIDS THEN!
Miroku shrieks like a little girl and runs back to the village. Sango shakes her head
and sighs. She then turns to Inuyasha.
Sango: Just listen to yourself! You're--
Inuyasha: I AM NOT ANGRY! I'M HAPPY! I'M SO DAMN HAPPY!
HAHAHAHA! I WILL KILL THE NEXT PERSON WHO--
Kagome: Sit! Sit! Sit! Sit! Sit! Sit! Sit! Sit!
SIT!!!!
Inuyasha falls to the ground and is crushed by the spell of the necklace he wears. He
cannot withstand all of the blows that he has been dealt and is unconscious.
Kaede: My goodness! I urge you all to take him to see Dr. Iwamoto. He lives
about three miles east of here. Ye can't miss his home; the sign outside is
enormous.
Kagome nods. Kilala transforms and Sango puts Inuyasha on her back. Kagome
climbs on.
Kagome: You all stay here. I'll take Inuyasha to see Dr. Iwamoto. Sango, I
think you should go check on Miroku.
Sango nods and runs to the village. Shippo and Kaede wave as Kagome rides off
over the horizon.
Some time later, Inuyasha awakens inside of a room. He is laid on a very comfortable
bed close to the floor. He looks around and checks his surroundings. There are no
windows and the walls are bare. The only door in the room opens and in walk two
men. One is a little shorter than Inuyasha. He has his black hair tied into a ponytail.
In his hands are a pen and a notebook. Both are modern items, so they obviously
came from Kagome. The other man is bald, very tall and muscular, towering over his
partner. He is holding a large bag over his shoulder; its contents are unknown. The
shorter man, Dr. Iwamoto, speaks.
Iwamoto: So...how are you feeling, Inuyasha?
Inuyasha: Who are you? Where is my Tetsusaiga?
Iwamoto: It's just fine where it is. You won't need a weapon here.
Inuyasha: You're right! I'll tear you two apart with my claws!
Iwamoto: I highly advise against that. My assistant, Koji, is actually a demon.
But not just any demon. His skin is completely indestructible. Not only that, he has
been trained in 14 styles of martial arts. He'd knock your head off before you ever
lifted a claw.
Inuyasha: FEH! What am I doing here anyway?
Iwamoto sits on the floor next to Inuyasha, who is still in the bed. He smiles.
Iwamoto: I am a therapist. Your friend Kagome tells me that you have anger
problems. I'm here to help.
Inuyasha: I'M NOT ANGRY! I DON'T HAVE PROBLEMS! ACTUALLY, I
DO! SOME JERKS--THAT'S YOU GUYS--STOLE MY SWORD!
Iwamoto nods his head and closes his eyes.
Iwamoto: Koji...
Koji removes a very large dead fish from the bag over his shoulder and he promptly
smacks Inuyasha in the head with it.
Inuyasha: HEY! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR? IS THAT A
FISH?
Iwamoto: Koji...
Koji smacks him again with the giant fish, harder this time. Inuyasha growls and holds
his head.
Inuyasha: What kind of idiot uses a
fish as a weapon?
Iwamoto: Every time you lash out in anger, Koji will hit you with the fish. Now,
I wish to ask you some questions so I can get to the root of your anger. Is that
OK?
Inuyasha: Whatever.
Iwamoto: OK. Do you have any love interests?
Inuyasha: THAT'S NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS!
Iwamoto: Koji...
Koji smacks him with the fish. Inuyasha grunts in pain as Iwamoto gets an idea.
Iwamoto: You wouldn't be seeing that Kagome girl, would you?
Inuyasha: She's too young for you!
Iwamoto: I know, but my son is about her age. She'd like him.
Inuyasha: NO SHE WOULDN'T!
Iwamoto: Koji...
Koji smacks him with the fish even harder than before. Inuyasha is face down on the
floor. Iwamoto smirks and jots down some notes into the book.
Iwamoto: So, you do like her. Do you have any family?
Inuyasha: No. They're all dead.
Iwamoto: Kagome said that you have an older half-brother.
Inuyasha: LIES! SHE'S--
Iwamoto: Koji...
Inuyasha turns and holds up his hands before Koji can hit him with the fish.
Inuyasha: STOP! OK, his name is Sesshomaru. I hate that jerk! Hey...if you
knew that, why the hell did you ask if I had any family?
Iwamoto: I like to toy with people. About your brother...is there any reason
why you hate him?
Inuyasha: Do you have all day?
Iwamoto rolls his eyes and jots down some more notes.
Iwamoto: No. My wife expects me home for dinner by sundown. How about
friends? Do you have any?
Inuyasha: Other than the guys that follow me around, no.
Iwamoto: You don't seem to like them.
Inuyasha: BAH! Sure, they help me. But that's only 30% of the time! The
other 90%, they're making fun of me!
Iwamoto: That�s 120%...oh, never mind. Moving on...I noticed how angry
you got when I brought up Kagome. I admit she's a pretty young lady. She must get
her fair share of admirers.
Inuyasha: One in particular really annoys me.
Iwamoto: Do tell.
Inuyasha: He's a mangy wolf-demon named Koga! I HATE HIM! I WANT
TO TEAR HIS--
Iwamoto: Koji...
Koji hits Inuyasha with the fish twice. Inuyasha has two big lumps on his head. He
staggers to his feet and looks harshly at Koji.
Inuyasha: If you smack me with that damn fish one more time...
Iwamoto: Koji...
Koji swings the fish and knocks Inuyasha through the nearest wall and into the next
room. Inuyasha is out cold. Iwamoto sighs, writes a few more notes and closes the
notebook.
Iwamoto: I don�t think we made a breakthrough...maybe we did. He "broke
through" that wall! HA HA HA HA HA HA!
Koji: ......
Iwamoto: Heh...sorry. Lock him in the dungeon. I don�t want him to get
away. Tomorrow, we begin the next stage. He knows Koga, so this should be
interesting...
TO BE CONTINUED