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20 July 2004
Argh bugger it! I had a big, exciting long entry for yesterday, and I just deleted it.
I was sure I COPIED it and then deleted it. Obviously I did not copy and just deleted. Bugger-arse-crap.
Anyway, welcome to the now FIRST entry to my blog. The first is lost forever. I'm sure if you could recover it, you could make THOUSANDS on Ebay .
Anyway, I shall recap the last weekish I have had for your amusement.
"Amoose-bush?" Monica
"Well it certainly is amoosing" Chandler
Anyway. Let's see.
- Monday: Can I remember back this far? I should be able to...it's all the Coke I drink, it's killing brain cells. Haha, Homer when he stopped listening to the Vocab builder - it went something like "Marge, whats that...metal...dealie...you use...to...dig...food" - "A spoon?" Good times.
Ok, so back to the point. Monday was my first day back at Uni, oh what fun it all was. I rejoiced. No I didn't. Man my brain really isn't functioning - I had Monday off, so I spent Monday sitting at home playing the Game Cube that Sam's friend brought over. Resident Evil Zero=rocks.
- Tuesday: Um, er...Uni! I'm doing 'Popular Music Studies', 'Auteur Studies', and 'Media in New Zealand'. Wicky. They don't suck completely yet, so that's a plus. Tuesday was also the anniversary of Vertigo filming - two years ago today I was tearing out my hair and wishing death upon all my friends. *Sigh*, the memories.
- Wednesday: No idea. Probably uni. Who knows.
- Thursday: See above.
- Friday: Heres where the memory comes into focus. It was raining, I was annoyed. I could write a deep and meaningful poem about that.
It was raining.
Drip, rain, drip.
Splatter on my head. I don't care.
Rain. Drip. Rain.
Well, that sucked, but its the kind of up-your-own-arse-bollocks that wins awards. I know nothing about poetry.
Anyway, it was raining, I was annoyed. I had a tut which sucked because when I got there, I had two black cheeks from my mascara so I had to go mascara-less for the day which made me feel naked. NAKED!
But the afternoon was good - Katie, Bones and I bought tickets for Puppetry of the Penis , then came home and hung out watching TV. It was Rachel's birthday too, Happy Birthday Rachel.
- Saturday: We WENT to Puppetry of the Penis in the evening. I think I slept for the rest of the day. Penis show - so so so funny, but so so so gross. I actually spent a fair bit looking utterly confused as to how on earth they could stretch it that far. Bones & Katie were scared too.
- Sunday: MY BIRTHDAY! I turned TWENTY! Now I can make fun of teenagers! Oh, the joy! My flatmates woke me up at 9ish, and they had decorated the lounge with streamers and balloons. I had to sit in a special chair (the Birthday chair) and they made me breakfast! Fancy coffee and scrambie eggs! I wasn't allowed to do any dishes the WHOLE day, yay, and we went out for a great dinner with a cake (mmmmm cake). They also bought me a clock that I wanted. Props to the flatties. Sorry Sam for saying 'props'.
- Monday: Cleaned my room. For some reason I neglected to do so the day before because it was my birthday, AND I moved balloons in. So it was a huge, scary mess. All tidy now though. I also learned all about gay marriages on Ricki Lake.
That was my last weekish.
Today I went to uni which was both utterly boring and exciting, all at the same time. This girl fainted in my film class when we watched The Big Shave , which featured a LOT of blood. It was cool.
Utterly boring was the rest of the film class. But 'Popular Music Studies' was fun, we listened to 'Sugar Sugar' about three times, then some MC5 who were funny. Not intentionally so.
Tired now. I might go watch Newlyweds, but don't tell anyone.
So long, farewell, auf weidersen...etc.
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21 July 2004
So far so good...no deletion of anything.
I have a massive attack of hiccups. I'm also watching Buffy season 2...where everything was big hair and bad clothes. It's fun. And MMMM cheese vienna from Woolworths...so very tasty.
So, right now, that's how I'd sum up my life. Um... there must be something exciting...I saw Belinda today in Media class. We are in the same tut, so yay, I have a friend in my tut! That's exciting.
And mmm hot guy that looks like a cross between Eric Bana, Colin Farrell & the hot one from Zed...I didn't do a lot of work today. He's nice to look at.
I also got two new Empire magazines - one I got new from the bookstore, another arrived in the post (an old one - Jan 2003). I have told some about my life plan, but I'll put it here anyway. Note: this is ONE OF the life plans I have.
I move to Australia and eventually become the editor of Australian Empire magazine. I get some blonde highlights and some designer black boots and become the editor of the British Empire magazine. When interviewing (insert name of current favourite freebie, at the moment it is Eric Bana) they fall madly in love with me and we have a wildly passionate affair. Bones has made some adjustments to this - when I interview Angelina Jolie and Eliza Dushku I introduce them to her. She is very strict on this.
Perhaps I'll put the other life plans up in the Writings section. Maybe they belong somewhere else. Dunno. Well, until then, I'll let you download them from this page.
The first was co-written with Kim in sixth form. It centers around Edward Norton, Matthew McConaughey and the Oscars. It's rather porn. The second was co-written with Bones, Sam, Dian & Carly last year (03). It's very funny.
Download the first one
Download the second one
I'm thirsty. And I should be doing work. All I've managed to do today that is worthwhile is set my clock to the right time and do the groceries with Katie & Bones. We also watched this horrible thing about little creatures that live inside you. Me and Bones felt all itchy for a little while after.
I'm feeling itchy again now.
I'm reading this book 'Three Men in a Boat' that Sam lent me. It's all old. And I love the language. Old but it makes sense. So, for some reason, I've started speaking like that. I had coffee with Carly today and said, without thinking, "How dare you place your Coke upon my magazine?"
She laughed for about half an hour. Stupid Carly.
Anyhoo, time to go and watch more Buffy and possibly do some work. Or paint my toenails. Or perhaps just the latter. Ta ta!
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22 July 2004
Humph. Edward Norton got rid of the mullet (hurrah!) but has replaced it with this confusing, frightening, fluffy, feathery, old man hair. Feathery. So feathery that it reminded me of a bird, so I set to make an Edwardbird picture.
Witness: A bird whose body is made from Edward Norton's current hair.
The original I messed with .
Don't you miss the good old days? I am talking about these days .
Sigh.
Today was rainy and horrible. I hate this girl in my tut, shes all gestury and has vivid teeth. I will illustrate on a picture of some teeth I found
here .
VIVID TEETH!
Apart from the vivid teeth girl, nothing much else happened today. And because it is freeeezing I am typing in gloves, which is annoying. So I will sign off.
Bye!
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23 July 2004
Ok, so maybe I skipped all my classes today.
I had good reason! Excellent reason, even.
First it was HAILING. Not raining hard, not really windy (well, both of those, but not only those) but HAILING. Pieces of ice hiffing themselves at the general public. Not my idea of a good time.
Anyway, so the weather was arse. I was going to go have a shower and on my way there Katie stopped me for a chat about the weather. Don't we sound like a great flat? We stop each other for chats about the weather! In reality, it isn't as...um...whats an awful adjective...neat! as it sounds. This morning it was Katie grumbling about the weather and me making annoyed noises. That's it.
Hmm, I had a point. Oh thats right. Ok, so the weather was bad. Katie was upset about it. Yet I was still planning on going to class. Awesome student am I.
But during my mmm-toasty shower, I began to have doubts. Hail is cold and painful, you see. Inside is warm. I also did not have suitable rainwear. And I hate vivid girl and I don't know if I could handle seeing her when it was hailing. I might vomit on her or something.
So, back to the shower. I'm washing and whatnot, you know, shower stuff. I sign my name on the steamy glass. Apparently this isn't normal, I should be doodling, but I just love the way my name looks on steamy glass...sigh). It was nice in the shower. Outside was bad. So, I decided to stay home.
But once I got out of my shower the hailing had stopped. I was outraged! I had spent all that time in the shower making up my mind to stay home, and the weather had done a 180 on me! Just to teach it a lesson, I decided to stay home anyway. Sam said that if I went to uni I would be changing my mind too much, which is bad. Stick with a good thing, he said. So I did. I sat at home till about 11.30 then I caught the bus to town and went SHOPPPPPING.
Me, Katie & Carly (a combo that might sound dangeresque to those who know the involved parties, but it worked out OK) had Mr Bun, and went shopping, and had coffee at Katipo (which is a great place, I like it a lot). Me and Katie did not stop making fun of Carly until we left, which was fun for us but probably not for her.
It's now 1am on Saturday, so technically this blog is in the wrong place but I'll be damned if I'm moving it. I've just put all the pages & pics and whatnot into folders, which took hours and now my eyes might be bleeding.
Argh! I cannot see for the blood!
Wahtveer wlil hapepn?
Apologies: I haven't slept for many many hours and I am exhausted. That was a bit nonsensical.
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24 July 2004
I'm typing in gloves again.
Which means this might be short and sweet, or it might be longish, but rambly and boring. I think it will be longish and boring by the fact that I'm discussing how long this will be instead of getting to the point. But then again, I know that I have no actual point, no destination, so it could be very short indeed.
My day was rather uneventful. I got up at 9am despite not going to bed until 3am. I've had annyoing headaches all day, which could be a sign of a GIANT BRAIN TUMOUR or perhaps just overtiredness. I think its the GIANT BRAIN TUMOUR. In Caps Lock, naturally.
Won't it be great when I marry Eric Bana? The only problem is that I sometimes call him Eric Banana, and that would not go down well once we are wed. Though I probably won't be calling him by his first and last name if we are married, I'd use some hilarious nickname like 'Eric'. Or something. On a somewhat related matter, the man looks GOOD with a beard. Unlike every other male I've seen in my whole life.
I'm watching Buffy season 2. Its bad but good at the same time. Another thing that is bad but good at the same time is my clothesline in my room - it looks fun, my clothes get dry, but its annoying.
Carly came over today to have a shower. She has no water so she spent 1/2 an hour PLUS, walking and bussing to use ours. Oh well. Me and Katie tried to reason with her, but it didn't work. It's like Butops once said,
"It's like arguing with a talking shit"
Nah, just joking. Sorry Carly. You are not talking fecal matter.
I had a really good snack before that I am still thinking about. It was toast with peanut butter, marmite and cheese microwaved for thirty-odd seconds....mmmmm. Katie had a bite and was disgusted - apparently the cheese and the peanut butter did not work together. But its nowhere near as insane as the sandwiches I used to make in 4th form - which contained, in full: peanut butter, marmite, honey, 1 processed cheese slice, colby cheese, corn chips & marshmallows. Then I'd put...wait for it...dairy whip (cream in a can) on the top once it had been microwaved. Unbelievably good. I'm craving one of those right now, really bad.
Buffy is all upset that Kendra is dead. But lets be honest, she hated her. Didn't we all?
I think that will do for today. Turns out today's entry was a short one. Who knew?
One more thing - check out this revolting jumper on this man that I saw out of my window today. Ick.
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26 July 2004
Can't be arsed writing much today. So instead I will share a letter that Bones and I penned for Mr. Eric Bana...
Dearest Eric Banana,
In your next movie you should play a cowboy. Because you would be a really hot cowboy. Have a bit of stubble though. Not a clean shaven cowboy. Cause then you�d look like James Van Der Beek in that crap cowboy movie, and that would be gross.
After that you can be a fireman. Smudge of charcoal essential. Wearing just the straps (no coat) and perhaps, sometimes, a black shirt underneath. This is optional. More stubble. You look good with stubble.
Do you know Eliza Dushku? I�m sure you do. You are both brunette people, who tend to associate with each other. In the esteemed opinions of two or more people, you are both very attractive. HOT. Please inform Ms Dushku that accommodation has been arranged for her stay in the wonderful city of Wellington, New Zealand. I hope she doesn�t mind sharing a bed. Tell her to contact Bones when she is ready to visit, and we will put out a guest towel for her.
You are welcome also. I don�t know if we have a spare towel for you, but you can drip dry. Naked. Around the house. I would like that. Bones wouldn�t, please only do so in my room. Yes.
Love Kate
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27 July 2004
Well it would appear that the thing that I find most interesting at the moment is writing pretend letters to celebrities.
It is a sorry state of affairs when I find my letter to Eric Banana (sic) - above - one of the funniest things ever. It's my own joke! I've become one of those horrid people that laugh at their own jokes!
But I digress. I think that 'but I digress' means 'I've gone off topic'. To be honest, no one has ever explained it to me, I'm assuming it means 'I've gone off topic'. It could mean, 'I farted', or 'I'm a moron', but hopefully it doesn't.
I'm digressing again. Anyway, after that hilarious letter to Eric Banana, I thought Edward Norton would appreciate one too. Check it out:
Dear Edward Norton,
May I call you Ed? Ok then.
Ok, so Ed.
The reason I am writing to you is your hair. It must stop.
I beg you, watch Fight Club. Look at that hair! That instantly makes you SOO much hotter. Perhaps, subconsciously, that is why both I and Salma Hayek fell for you. You have great hair.
But then the worst happened.
Either you just forgot to get a hair cut, or you decided that a mullet would look really good on you. Heads up: it doesn�t.
But even worse than that, you got the mullet cut into an even worse�situation.
It�s feathery. It�s fluffy. It�s like a little bird sitting atop your noggin. Why, Ed, why? You are spoiling the hotness with that horrid abomination.
GET A HAIR CUT. Dye it back to proper brown, no blonde highlights. Wonder why Jenna Elfman picked Ben Stiller in �Keeping the Faith?� Look to your blonde hair. Love killer.
Hopefully this has been beneficial to you.
Love Kate
But seriously, I have actually been doing something worthwhile with my time. Like watching the Big Brother finale last night - it ended exactly how I thought it would, so that wasn't really too exciting. We also saw 'Fahrenheit 9/11', which was very depressing but very powerful. I like that the IMDb Message Board for the movie is filled with political opinion. LOOK OUT, it might be my movie of the week if it's not careful...
I've also got my eye on this guy in my film class. He intrigues me. Seriously. He could be gay, or a serial killer. Probably not both. For some reason, the idea of a gay serial killer doesn't quite gel with me. Male serial killers, anyway, Katie brought up Aileen Wuornos (I hope I spelt that right). But anyway, I'm digressing again (am I?). I'm building up a small list of guys-I-have-my-eye-on, which is bad, because at some point I'm going to get them mixed up and think the not-serial-killer one is the serial-killer one, or even worse, vice versa, and be KILLED. Hopefully that won't happen. But my fascination with this guy began when I realised that he had great hair...Edward Norton Fight Club hair. *Sigh*
I'm watching Letterman. That show is great. I heard that to get tickets you have to answer trivia about the show, which troubles me. What kind of trivia? I know some basic info (from watching it almost every night for months now) such as:
1. The host is David Letterman
2. It is on...late
3. It's a show.
Haw haw, I'm one funny mofo.
I have a tut tomorrow, yippee I get to see vivid teeth girl. It sucks that you can't convey sarcasm over the internet. Cause I'm being sarcastic. In case you couldn't tell.
I've been playing Resident Evil Zero...which is scaring the crappers out of me. The stupid dogs are too hard to kill, I can't aim my gun properly cause I'm a big moron. Bones sat and laughed at me while I walked INTO the evil dogs, fired my gun at the roof, then walked on the spot while the dogs ripped my arms off. Then I realised my gun had run out of ammo, but instead of running away, my controller DID NOT LISTEN and instead I stood there while the dog wrestled me to the ground and (I'm assuming) bit off my face. Stupid dog. I'm annoyed now. Then the game thought it should point out the obvious and announce, 'You Are Dead'. Yeah, cause usually people survive from having a zombie dog bite off your face. Well...to be fair, I don't know if there are a lot of examples to choose from here. Haven't really heard of it before.
I really have to go to bed and sleep. I just typed out "haven't really heard of it saying", re-read it, and didn't find a problem with it. Sleep needed.
Ta ta, etc, what have you.
Kate
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29 July 2004
How neat. Soon I'll have to put all of these bloggies into an archive and start on the *glint* new month *gleam* of AUGUST!
Wow, August is going to be the best month ever. Well, maybe not. But I do get to go home and visit my family & friends, which I'm looking forward to.
I skipped Uni today. I didn't mean to. The story this time isn't as exciting as the time that it hailed. Today it was raining, I REALLY wanted to play Resident Evil Zero, and I was going to be late to a Media tut. I decided that I'd rather be absent than late. Because late is embarrasing. Absent isn't.
No one wants to buy the rat cage! I think Styx cursed it when we moved him to his new home. I was so sure someone would want it, but apparently no one does. Grumble.
I'm watching Extreme Makeover and it's kind of creeping me out. These three sisters got their makeovers and now they're kind of porn. But old. Old porn=not good.
I'm too tired to come up with anything even halfway amusing/witty/interesting. I could do a stream of consciousness type dealie - that might be fun.
I'm wearing my new white top which is really fun, I like it heaps, yay for Nana giving me a Farmers voucher. I hated working at Farmers it was so horrible and this old bitch was really mean and she had no chin. Just like a cliff. And Mrs Robertson had no chin either, which was funny but scary when she laughed and it wibbled. When me & Katie played this racing game she kept saying her car was wibbling and I thought she was crazy but it turns out that your car really does wibble. I heard that Lindsay Lohan is dating Wilmer Vanderama (can't spell it - but Fez from That 70's Show) and I find that to be interesting trivia. I find it scary though that I neither approve nor disapprove, I just don't care, which means I'm getting crazy in my old age because five years ago I would have had a very insane opinion on the whole matter. Me and Bones had this big fantasy about our freebies (not in a porn way) where they got delivered in freezer boxes. It was weird. And then what was even stranger was that they were wearing the same clothes - I had mentally put Eric Bana in jeans & a black tshirt and Bones had put Eliza Dushku in jeans and a black singlet. She said it was Glassons, but not bum Glassons, nice Glassons. Or something to that effect. We all talked about horror movies tonight at the dinner table, Katie hasn't seen The Exorcist and we all recommended it to her. Scared the crappers out of me & Bones, Sam wasn't scared. Though he may have been doing his "I am man. I like to lift heavy things. I hate flowers" type thing. Like that time in Friends when Joey & Chandler walked in and said "Men are here. Men make fire". Then they said something about peeing on the fire and not getting invited back, but I can't really remember the words verbatim, so I can't quote it. You've gotta wonder where Spike from Buffy is more like Billy Idol or Sid Vicious.
Whew, that was exhausting. But strangely theraputic, I recommend it.
Aren't you glad I used punctuation? Would have been a nightmare without full stops.
Time to go watch Black Books.
Aztec, corn chips, made the natural way
OLE!
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31 July 2004
I'm watching 'There's Something About Mary'. This movie is awesome. Recommended to all. What comedy!
Before I forget, I also recommend this:
http://www.angryalien.com/0604/titanicbunnies.html
It's 'Titanic' reenacted by bunnies in 30 seconds. Takes a minute to load but its worth it.
This blog is being typed slowly - not that you can realise that by reading it - but perhaps to sympathise you could read it really slow.
The reason why it is going slow is because Carly keeps yapping even though she was the one that requested this blog. I think that this is an good time for a quote - something like 'she's biting off her nose to spite her face' is probably appropriate, but I prefer 'Potato, potahtow'. Sure, it's not a popular saying, but it works.
Po-tay-to, po-tah-tow, to-may-to, to-mah-tow, let's call the whole thing OFF.
I'm disturbed. Sam and Tristan are in Sam's room drinking cheap wine and singing. When I say singing, I don't mean just sort of humming along to a song, I mean singing with apparently no music. No, wait, they're clicking their fingers and stamping around - does that count as music? Me & Katie have to live through the nightmare (Sam's room joins to both mine & Katie's) and she's on MSN saying "arrghhh kill it". Haha, good call Katie.
I've been drinking water like it's going out of fashion.
I like proverbs. Maybe I should make a proverb reservoir. Reservoir was the absolute wrong word to use there. Perhaps I could make a page of words that don't belong that are fun to use anyway.
My fingers are sore. I spent a large portion (read: 80%) of my day playing Buffy on XBox. The Game (deserves capitalisation) is awesome. I have found my true calling: to beat up and kill vampires. Such a good rush.
Carly's been finding some good internet sites. My favourite is Big Truck Love , which is about the forbidden love between a man and someone else's truck. I actually think it's kind of cute. Unlike Dolphinsex.org , which is disgusting and should NOT be visited by anyone. Link only provided so the small portion of you that are close by to some sort of vomit receptacle can see it. Does that word fit? Is it spelt right? I just typed respectable and then changed the 'b'.
Why do you build me up? Buttercup baby just to let me down?
I should tell you a story about that song. We were all out drinking in town, as you do, when we thought it would be an excellent idea to go to this old people's pub where they do karaoke. Me, Rachel & Bushfire (was it Bushfire? I can't remember. Shows what alcohol does). Anyway, so three of us were on stage at this old people's pub with two microphones singing as loud as we could when I realised that I can't sing. At all. But we pressed on, and sort of half fell of the stage, and ran out of the pub. It was weird.
I recommend writing on your hand 'You Can't Sing. Don't!' before you go out. Which reminds me of another story.
It was New Year 2002 and I was seeking revenge. Only months earlier Bushfire had told some goateed man that I put out, which is defamation of character, or something. How rude! So I wrote on my arm in black vivid, 'Bushfire Puts Out', with the plan that I could just wave my arm at people then point at Bushfire. I only did it the once though, and they thought I was crazy, so I didn't really get my revenge. And then the vivid wouldn't wash off for days, and people thought I was crazy again, so really I got anti-revenge. Bah.
Anyway, fingers sore and I need to pee. Sorry for the too much info.
Opposite-of-hello, KATE!
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