'Well now that's all sorted, I'll see you both tomorrow morning. Have a nice night, ladies'. With a smirk, Romano turned and left his office, leaving one very stunned doctor behind him.
'You...told him,' ventured Kim, with an air of disbelief. She'd hardly known what to think when she'd received the call from Romano's secretary, virtually ordering her to get to his office right now. Then to walk in through the door, ready to give the little prick the telling-off of his life, and to see Kerry Weaver sitting there...time had stopped for what seemed like an eternity. Kerry Weaver, who'd given a new meaning to lack of support, Kerry Weaver who could have done so much, yet did so little. Kerry Weaver, who she'd tried so hard to detach from her life. Kerry Weaver, who she still loved with a passion that scared her. Kerry Weaver, who she still wanted desperately.
Kerry turned slowly to face her, something new shining in her eyes. She knew she'd failed Kim badly, and still felt desperately ashamed. The letter had been a last, desperate attempt to explain everything to Kim, but it had come to no good. When Kim hadn't contacted her, she'd finally decided to try and move on, but she couldn't. Her every waking moment was filled with thoughts of the beautiful blonde psychiatrist. Her smile. Her eyes. Her hands...god, her hands. She swallowed, hard, and attempted, once more, to explain to Kim, to try and make her understand, make her see the person she'd become since they had parted so abruptly after their last, disastrous meeting with Romano. 'Kim, I had to. I couldn't live with what I was doing to myself, and to you. I know that this is who I am, and I couldn't bear that my denial of it would cause you to walk out of my life.' Kerry bit her lip and looked around, searching for a point to focus her attention on. Eventually she settled for the bright blue eyes that seemed able to pierce to the very core of her being. 'I meant everything I wrote in that letter, Kim. I've never met anyone like you before, and I love you so much. You...when you're not near me, I feel like something's missing, and I don't ever want to feel like that again. I know I hurt you badly, but believe me, I am truly sorry. Just give me a chance, Kim'. Then Kerry stopped, suddenly unsure. Kim had made it so clear she wanted nothing more to do with her, so how could what Kerry had to say now make any difference.
'Kerry-' began Kim.
'No. Let me finish.' Kerry' s confidence returned in a rush as she determined to give it one more go. 'It's the ER banquet next week, and I'd like nothing more than for you to come with me as my partner. I want us to start over.' With that Kerry looked straight at Kim, showing her with her eyes all she was feeling.
Kim just stared at the older doctor, taking in the openness, vulnerability and honesty she saw in the face she knew so well. The face that she'd been unable to forget, and God alone knows she'd tried. She'd hoped Lori would help her move on, but that had ended abruptly when one night Kim had called out Kerry's name over and over as she and Lori made love. Unwilling to be the rebound girl, Lori had left the same night. Kim knew then that no-one could ever replace Kerry in her life, but until this moment, she'd been unsure as to whether or not she could risk opening herself up to the petite redhead who now stood in front of her, waiting. Then, as she looked in Kerry's eyes once more, she knew, and it was all Kim could do not to take her in her arms there and then and kiss her thoroughly. The sudden rush of love she felt threatened to overwhelm her, but as her slightly more rational side began to clamor for attention again, she knew that would be a big mistake. If this was to work out, they had to start over from scratch. Go back to the beginning, and relearn each other. Well, maybe not right back to the beginning...Then Kerry's last sentence registered on Kim's overwhelmed brain.
'You want to start over?'
'Yes. Yes, I do, more than anything.'Kerry knew this was what she wanted. She'd enacted such conversations in her head so many times, but now it was actually happening, she seemed unable to find the eloquence that had flowed in her daydreams. 'But this time I want to get it right. I don't want us to have to hide behind closed doors anymore, so I chose the banquet on Saturday. Before, I was so afraid. I was afraid that people could see my love for you anytime you stepped into the room, like there was some huge neon sign above my head. So many times, I wanted to just kiss you in the halls, but I was scared. I couldn't face being in love - it wasn't just that that love was with a woman. For so long, my work has been everything to me, my life, and then you walked in and suddenly all I wanted at the start of each shift was for it to be over so I could see you again, and that frightened me. But I know it's what I want. I want you and me to have a real relationship, not one that ends at your front door every morning. I want to grow old with you, Kim Legaspi, and wake up next to you each morning for the rest of my life. If you want to take this slowly, that's OK. I just want this to be right, Kim. I couldn't stand to lose you again.' Kerry stopped, took a deep breath and waited for Kim to respond.
The silence seemed to last an eternity.
'Oh Kerry,' was all Kim could say. She was literally speechless. She was overwhelmed by the depth of feeling Kerry had expressed, and by the chord it had struck in her. Her entire being literally resonated with the truth of what Kerry had just said. How could two people be so in tune?
Kerry understood perfectly everything Kim was saying with those two words, and as she smiled up at the beautiful blonde, she simply said 'I'll pick you up at seven. It's smart dress, but nothing really formal.'
Kim nodded, and they turned and walked out.
Later that evening, Kim sat at home trying to take in the day's events. She'd got her job back, she'd got Kerry back, and her world finally felt complete in a way it hadn't done for many weeks. She was filled with respect and admiration for what Kerry had done, and for what she was willing to do. She knew this would not be easy for the older woman, but she vowed silently to support her every step of the way. She realised with a jolt how much Kerry must love her, to be willing to do all this for her, yet she knew it was the only way for the feisty redhead she loved so much. Dr. Kerry Weaver was not prone to approaching something stealthily. That was not to say she lacked tact, but she certainly believed in tackling things head on at work, so it made sense that the same rules which applied in her ER would apply in her private life. Kerry tackled life head on, and the ER banquet was just about the most head on way Kim could think of.
As a smile tugged at her lips, she realised she couldn't wait for Saturday night. For more reasons than one.