'What should I wear?' The age old question had returned to bug Kerry, but she welcomed it. As she rifled through her closet, she realised that she hadn't asked this question in years, at least not precisely in this manner, as she prepared for a date. She and Ellis had spent the majority of their time here at Kerry's house, and as for her husband...Kerry shuddered and put that out of her mind. Tonight was a night for the future, for mending the damage the past had done to her, not dwelling on it.
Eventually she settled for the classic. Black. Loose black pants and a clingy black top, with a high-ish neckline. She knew how important it was to Kim that they go slowly, and she knew it would take all her self control to remember that tonight. Kim still drove her crazy. Just being in the same hospital as Kim drove her crazy, knowing that the woman she loved so much was just a few floors away. And when Kim appeared for a psych consult, and looked over to smile at Kerry, Kerry positively glowed. She'd been incredibly careful to keep her emotions covered up, however, as she wanted tonight to be a genuine surprise for all concerned. That she was anxious was undeniable. She knew she felt ready to do this, to go out in public with Kim, but still...coming out. She glanced at her image in the mirror with a wry smile. She'd thought about this, imagining different ways it could be, but she'd never imagined that bittersweet mixture of fear and finally being open. Yes, she was afraid, but still her head buzzed as she was filled with a bizarre sense of happiness for what she was about to do. Abruptly, she broke away from her train of thought, and slipped on her shoes. She took one last look in the mirror and satisfied with what she saw, slicked on a last coat of lipstick. She slipped a plain jacket on and smiling stepped out of her front door, full of joy, anticipation and peace. Joy at finally winning back the woman she loved, anticipation for the banquet and one of the momentous occasions of her life and peace because her life finally felt balanced and, well, right.
*************************
'Damn' thought Kim as she heard her doorbell ring, 'she's here already'. She quickly applied her own lipstick, and checked the clock, noting with a grin that Kerry was a little early. Kim was not surprised at the usually together Dr. Weaver's momentary loss of poise. If Kerry was anything tonight, reasoned Kim, she was nervous. This was the first time Kerry had really been out in public as a lesbian, and Kim could well remember the slightly sick feeling of anticipation. Determined to make this evening as easy for Kerry as it could be, she raced down the stairs to her front door. She gathered herself briefly and opened the door, smiling widely.
"Hi."
"Hi."
They both laughed nervously, then their eyes met. For a moment they just stared, drinking in each other.
"Come in, I'm nearly done." Kim broke the silence, and the stare, by standing back from the door to let Kerry pass. She barely managed to stop herself from gasping out loud. Kerry looked stunning. So simple, yet so...elegant, so captivating. All woman, and just as Kim remembered her. Kim is lost for a moment remembering how Kerry looked as she lay on Kim's bed, her body limp and her eyelids drooping after an orgasm more powerful and intense than Kim had ever experienced from one of her lovers...if only Kerry knew the effect she was having on her partner, reasoned Kim, they might never make it to the banquet hall that night. Kim just hoped she could remember to take it slow, for Kerry's sake. She wanted them both to be ready for each other, but right now Kim would be quite happy to take Kerry here on the hall table. She blushed again as she remembered a night she had done just that. Kerry had arrived after a long day, had walked in through the door and fallen right into Kim's arms, her head turning upwards for a kiss that had threatened to overwhelm Kim with it's intensity and animal desire. She had quite literally torn Kerry's clothes off as she'd backed the older woman up against, then onto the table...
Kim shook her head in an attempt to physically dislodge the thoughts that continued to flit through her head and slipped her shoes on, calling out "Kerry, are you ready to go?". Kerry, unaware of the musings of her once and future lover, had wandered into the kitchen for a glass of water to calm her nerves.
"Yes, coming. And Kim...?" Kerry paused, unsure. She too had her recollections of this house, and found being back in it an intense experience. Everything she saw seemed to remind her of an aspect of her and Kim's life...the couch where they had read the paper together every Sunday morning, the table where they'd eaten dinner together so many times, the sexual tension crackling in the air as Kim had run her foot up Kerry's leg as she tried to eat that memorable night when they'd never actually made it to the bedroom at all. They seemed to have gotten all over the rest of the house that night, though, thought Kerry, a faint blush rising on her cheeks. And underpinning it all, the incredible connection Kerry had felt to this woman who had come in to her life and turned it upside down while creating a security Kerry had never thought possible.
"Yes?" Kim filled the resulting silence, giving Kerry a moment to collect her thoughts.
"I just want to say how happy I am about all of this, how right it all feels, being with you, going out with you in public for the first time, everything. I can't say I'm not nervous, but I know this is right, that it's time. I love you Kim, and I understand that it's important to you that we start over, take it slowly, and I'm ok with that." Kerry breathed a huge sigh of relief. There, she'd said she'd take it slow. If only she could trust her body to remember that commitment, everything would be fine.
Kim tried not to grimace at that last sentence, barely succeeding. "Me too. I'm happy too. Now let's get going, we're late."
********************
In the restaurant, the other members of staff were chatting as they waited for Kerry to arrive.
"Hey, how come if we're just waiting for the chief, there's two places set?" piped up Dave.
"Didn't you see the sign-up list in the lounge?" said Luka, amusement showing in his voice. He had a fairly good idea who the other place was for, but had diplomatically decided not to let the others in on the chief's master plan. After all, he still wanted a job come Monday morning. He continued as the others waited impatiently for whatever he might have to say. "It said 'Kerry + partner'. "
"Plus partner? You sure?" asked Dave, intrigued.
Luka nodded as the others mentally ran through the possibilities.
"Well, well, well. Could it be the amazing Ellis back again?" said Dave with a smirk as he voiced what several had been thinking. The rest of the assembled staff sniggered. Dave had been as shocked as any of the fairly recent arrivals to learn about this particular piece of the chief\rquote s past from the others, the longtimers. And none of those who had worked in the ER at the time had missed Kerry's sudden change in demeanour during those few weeks. John still claimed to have overheard snatches of a phone call that had left the ER reeling.
"No, Dave, it's not Ellis."
Dave jumped. He'd forgotten how quickly, and quietly, Kerry could sneak up on him. "Evening, chief" was the best response he could squeak out as he frantically looked around for signs of a dinner partner for Kerry.
"Everyone, I'd like you to meet my partner, certainly for the evening, and hopefully a lot longer." With that simple sentence, Kerry beckoned towards the door, and smiled as jaws dropped as first one person, then the next, caught sight of Dr. Kimberly Legaspi walking across the restaurant to their table.
"I think most of you know Kim, from psych," said Kerry with a wicked smile. "Did you sort out the parking, honey?" asked Kerry as she turned her attention, and her body, towards Kim and kissed her briefly on the cheek. The two shared a grin at the other's reactions, both amused at the total shock evident on the faces of most of Kerry's co-workers.
"Yeah, all done. Evening everyone." Kim's focus switched to the table as a whole as she and Kerry took their places, edging their chairs together in a gesture no one missed.
The others had recovered just enough composure to greet Kim, and as the food was being served, no one could resist sneaking glances at Drs. Weaver and Legaspi. Their love for each other was plain to see - they had eyes for no one else - and an enchanting sight for those present, who had never seen this side of the chief before. Throughout the meal, the pair were constantly touching, whether to tuck an errant strand of hair behind an ear or whether to use a napkin to wipe a smudge off a chin. However it manifested itself, the depth of feeling these two had for each was unmissable, and they found it noticeably difficult to turn their attention to others at the table. Every few seconds, they would sneak a glance at each other, as if to check that they were both still there, that this wasn't some kind of crazy dream.
********************
As the meal drew to a close, music started to play and Kerry and Kim moved on to the dance floor, partly to give the others some room to discuss the evening's events, partly to be close to each other away from the obligation of having to make polite conversation. On the dance floor, they could focus exclusively on each other. Kim also loved to dance, and Kerry found that Kim's presence was sufficient to make her relax enough to be able to forget her awkwardness and simply move to the music. She was here. She was with the woman she loved, and that was enough for her.
Back at the table, the others discussed this latest turn of events.
Dave was first to chip in, as the others just sat and took in what they'd seen in front of them for the last hour or so. "So..." Then he paused, not quite sure how to phrase what he was desperate to have confirmed.
"Yes, Dave, she's a lesbian" sighed Luka, wearily. He'd seen Kerry and Kim together more times than either of them were aware, as they'd grabbed a few moments alone in the middle of a busy day. He knew how much Kerry loved Kim, from that day in the ambulance bay. And he was genuinely happy that the two of them had found their ways back to each other again.
"Well, it sure looks like it. Have you seen the way she looks at Legaspi? And we know that Legaspi's gay, she's made no secret of that, so Weaver...Weaver must be, I suppose. Anyway, that's love all right, whether we give it a name or not," added Jing-Mei.
"Guess so. Who would have thought it though? The chief and the hottest dyke at County?" mused Dave, already lost in thought.\
The others just shrugged, happy for their chief. Yes, she could be harsh, even cold sometimes, but they knew that she genuinely cared about medicine and her ER, staff included, and that she deserved to be happy. After all, didn't everyone?
************************************
Just then, the music switched to a much slower song, and as the other couples on the dance floor moved closer together, Kim made to go back over to the table. Kerry, however, pulled Kim back towards her and murmured in her ear, "I can see they're talking about us, and I don't care. Now let's give them something to talk about." With that, Kerry reached one hand up to touch Kim's cheek and drew her face down until the two were barely millimeters apart. They stared at one another for a second, each taking in the beauty of the woman she wanted so much. Then they were kissing, and as the kiss deepened and lengthened, neither missed the jolt that shot through both their bodies.
Eventually they pulled apart and just stared at each other, captivated. Both had felt the connection, both knew that what they'd had before was still very much there, and both knew exactly what they wanted from the other.\par \par Kim spoke first. "Kerry, I know you said you wanted to take it slow, but...I don't think I can. I love you, Kerry Weaver, and right now I'm ready for you, and I want nothing more than to..."
"Hush." Kerry put her finger over Kim's lips, who then slipped her lips around it, running her tongue over Kerry's fingertips, as she watched for the realization to hit the woman she loved so much. "I thought it was you who wanted...but you thought...it was..." Kerry stammered slightly as she verbally processed what Kim had just said.
The unfinished sentence hung in the air as the realization hit Kerry. She looked up at Kim, her eyes shining in anticipation. She withdrew her fingers from Kim's mouth, and slid her hand round the back of Kim's head, intertwining her fingers with the long blonde hair she loved so much. But the two didn't move to kiss again - what was transpiring between them went beyond mere physical action. It was a reconnection of spirits, as they stared yet again deep into each others eyes, relishing the closeness they'd missed so much.
Again Kim broke the silence. "Your place or mine, Ker?" She smiled down at her lover, as they silently confirmed that this was indeed what they both wanted.
"Yours. It's closer. Now let's go." Kerry spoke decisively, turned and, taking Kim's hand began to walk back over to the table as a sudden urgency took hold of her.
********************
"Dave, you need to get your mind out of the gutter. I won't be able to get rid of that image for days," said Abby, chuckling. Dave had, true to form, been speculating on what the night could hold for the chief. "Anyway, they're coming over. Shut up."
Everyone smiled at Kerry as she arrived back at the table, trailing a grinning blonde behind her.
Kim helped Kerry to get her jacket on, lingering slightly as she smoothed the fabric down over Kerry's waist. As Kim slipped her own jacket on, it was Luka who asked, "Leaving so soon, Kerry?"
It was Kim who replied. "We wanted to stay, but I'm having trouble keeping Dr. Weaver here under control."
With that, Kerry lifted her hand to Kim's face and pulled her down for a brief yet intense kiss that left the younger woman reeling.
"As you can see," finished Kim, when she regained control of her body. Each time Kerry kissed her, it felt like every molecule in her body was being rearranged, which made rational speech somewhat difficult.
Kerry continued to gaze at Kim as she shook her hair out, and out of the corner of her eye, caught sight of Dave staring at her.
With a wicked grin, she turned and, raising her voice slightly, barked, "Dave!"
"Yes chief?" he replied, shaken out of his reverie.
"Sorry to disappoint you, but you're not invited to this party." Dave had the decency to blush as he remembered the original source of a similar comment.
With that, Kerry and Kim walked out of the restaurant, hand in hand, bursting with anticipation, hopes and dreams for the future, both long and short term. They had found each other again and they moved with an unmistakable rhythm, an undeniable 'togetherness'. They had finally connected again and their worlds felt complete, in a way that few ever experience. As they left the restaurant that night, they stood and gazed up at the stars, just standing still, body pressed against body, drinking in the beauty of the night sky. As Kerry slid her arm around Kim's waist, Kim turned and smiled at her, her face conveying more love than either of them ever thought possible. Both realised that this was the start of something that had already rocked both of them to their foundations and simultaneously linked them inextricably for the rest of their lives. With that new-found sureness to carry them, they turned and walked across the parking lot to Kim's car, each ready for what ever the future might hold, knowing that they would face it together.