Man it always happens. I go through a bunch of my old high school stuff to get depressed. You might be wondering why i get depressed after looking at stuff that happened soooo long ago? Well I really don't know. I guess a lot of it has to do with Kolleen and my past with her.
I have been divorced from her for about 4 years now. That is a long time. But let me tell you something that I truly believe. Love never dies. She will be someone who will be in my heart my whole life. I can never forget about her.
The thing with Kolleen is it ended so damn quick. I mean I knew we had problems, but I didn't expect our marriage to end over the petty problems we did have.
I cant believe I'm rambling about this right now. I was going through all the old stuff and ran across a bunch of pictures of her and I. We were so young looking. I also found a picture of christy my other high school sweetheart.
I found a picture of us at one of the dances we went to. I was a damn good looking guy back then. (if I don't mind saying so) :o) I found a picture of me when I was in the hospital with my little skateboarder bangs kickin.
Yes I was a hard core skateboarder in high school. I wasn't really good but I had the punk look down really well. We were the little punks of our high school. Memory lane is what I need to call this entry.
I had to call my dad today and ask him to borrow some money. That is something that I REALLY didn't want to do. Until I can get another job that pays a lot more money I am screwed! I don't know if he is going to loan me any money or not.
I had a feeling he didn't really want to. I have a feeling that my dad thinks that I spend all my money on stuff I don't need, or I go out and party it all away. I spend all my earnings on bills. I cant even afford to get my oil changed on my car. It is well overdue.
I work 7 days a week. I rarely get a day off. You cant say I don't work my ass off. My neighbors shake their head at me because I'm always on my way to one of my jobs.
People at work were driving me nuts as usual. But I'm not going to bore you with another story tonight. I do have one to tell though. :o) Maybe another night. I am reading Scotty's World archives right now. He is a pretty funny guy.
He sounds like he has a lot of the same problems I do. I just need a new job. One that pays ohhh about 50,000 a year. Am I dreaming? I think so. But it is good to dream once in awhile.
My room looks like a tornado went through it. That is how it usually looks. I am probably one of the biggest slobs. I wish I could change that. But it is so easy for my room to get unorganized. Well I guess I will be going. I have to work at the restaurant tomorrow. YUCK! I really hate that job, but it is money that I so desperately need right now. Talk with you soon!
9/28/98 1:16:44 AM
As you can see it is 1:16 AM. Sorry i havent written in the last few days. I have really been crashing all this html stuff in to my head. I have got to learn this stuff and quick. My finances depend on a new job really quickly.
I learned quite a bit of stuff tonight. Mainly the easy way to get your images with transparent backgrounds. Wait... Why am i boring you all with this stuff. Like you are really interested in that sort of thing. Lets start talking about something a little more interesting...
I got off work tonight and ran home to get an envelope that was left on my doorstep for cyn. I took her the envelope and borrowed a tape of last weeks season premier of "Friends" (I love that show). We then took a drive to get some ice cream.
We caught up on what was going on in our lives. She looked nice and it hit me that I really missed her. I was really trying to not tell her that. For some reason whenever i tell a girl my feelings it backfires. (guys you know what im talking about right?)
So we sat and ate our ice cream then took a drive back to her apt. I parked outside her apt and we talked a bit. It happened. I told her that I missed her. She then replied that she missed me too. She kinda opened up to me right back so it is cool. We hugged and that was about it. I miss the hell out of her, but in the same sense i know that it really wouldnt work out between us right now.
Our schedules are sooooo messed up. It would be like "OK I have 1 hour on Sunday night I can come over. Is that ok with you cyn?" Her reply, "I can't, I have to get up early for work. I have an important meeting on monday." And so on and so on. That is how it is between us right now.
I strongly beleive we both love each other. I dont think we are over. But we definatly need to get things straightened out first. My main thing i have to straighten out first is my employment. Hell no I dont have time. Working 7 days a week kinda takes a bite out of your social life. Plus I work 2nd shift she works 1st. Are you kinda getting the picture here???
Well it is getting late time to go and watch that friends episode. Later on!!