"When you do something,
you should burn yourself completely,
like a good bonfire, leaving no trace of yourself."
~Shunryu Suzuki
_______________________________________
WHEN HAWK SPEAKS
BY Mark two spirits
"When Hawk Speaks" was written for the winter 1998 issue of
ACCORD journal of the Council of the Magickal Arts on "totems, familiars, & companion animals". A "pagan" magazine, the issue is filled with a variety of Stories, and tributes to different animals honoring them as loved family members/guides/spirits assisting us on our journey here on the Earth. After reading an issue and observing the way in which the contributors regarded subjects/topics of a, to them and also to other traditions, Sacred I felt very comfortable in contributing to them as well. In the hopes that each in their way according to their traditions finds the way back to the Grandfathers, or whatever they wish to call that place. To honor all the ways as the different languages that they are.
Its actually been 10 yrs, almost to the month, since Hawk first spoke to me. I had just moved into my first apt. (without roomates), right next to one of the most beautiful cemeteries I have ever seen, Garfield Cemetery (where former Pres. Garfield is buried).
It is an expansive park with hills, winding roads, and hundreds of varieties of trees and shrubs, a couple of ponds, always occupied with ducks and geese. Lush and serene, Filled with wonderfully sculptured markers and monuments to huge egos gone by. My Grandparents and brothers remains rest there as well. At the top of the hill that this is built on, a half mile away, is a "hip strip", a neighborhood of apts., "new age" shops, and restaurants. You know the place This was where the coffee shop (before they became fashion), my morning hangout was. Walking through the cemetery was the short cut to get there, which was a nice way to start the day since rarely were any humans there in the morning.
Usually I would stop at the pond and do Tai-chi, or just sit and "be" before walking up to the shop, reading the paper, having coffee and walking back home. I did this virtually everyday for a couple weeks. Then one day, I'm walking near the entrance, the morning sun unobscurred by clouds, when it suddenly seems to disappear from the sky, a huge shadow covering me. I look up and on a branch about 10 feet above my head, a Hawk, spreading its wings flies off into the sky.
It was awesome!! I'd never seen a Hawk in the city, let alone so close! I had to see this again.
Assuming the Hawk lived in the cemetery, I decided to look for him the next morning, and after tai-chi saw him soaring way up in the sky. Sometimes while walking through in the afternoon, I'd see him soaring and whistle to him, and he would respond by screeching out and circling overhead. After a couple more weeks of this I noticed that I had to walk off of my regular route and take more time to find him. It was like playing hide and seek. I soon started to use the extra time as a tool, to bring myself back to my center, stilling my mind and focusing on being open, to see if I could 'sense' where he was. I began to get good at sensing and finding him anywhere in the park.
One day after about a month of this, I notice its taking much longer to sense the Hawk. I try harder, but still I feel nothing. I stop at a tree, sit down to clear my mind and try once more before giving up. I sit for about 10 minutes with my eyes closed and come to a quiet inner place, when 'something' tells me to open my eyes. I do, as look up. Sitting on a branch about 25 feet over my head is the Hawk. As soon as I look up, without flapping them, he spreads his wings and just glides off the branch, across the clearing to a group of trees directly across from me, and lands on a branch in the midst of them. At this point I am dumbfounded and awed by what has just transpired, and for a minute or two just sit at the foot of my tree and watch this great creature.
Now the Hawk is perchedat a point in the trees where the larger branches under, above and behind himcreate a circle around him. As I stare at him, the smaller branches inside the circle begin to make patterns, like some organic mandala. I am falling deeper into tis as it unfolds before me. After a few minutes the mandala slowly begins to spin around the Hawk, still in the cente. Soon I am somewhere else, time has stopped, there is nothing excccept me and Hawk. Hawk then starts to speak to me, to my mind, not in words but 'picture words'. Images and some language I am not familiar with, yet seem to understand, flow through my mind.
He calls me "two spirits", and tells me why he calls me this (because of my work with both music and bodywork), tells me we are brothers, that he speaks to me for my grandfather (who was Cherokee/Seminole) who is with me when he is. That we are now connected, he tells me the story of creation and more, my mind spinning at all he is imparting to me.
After what seemed like a life time yet was only about 20 min., the spinning 'mandala' begins to slow until it stops completely. I then return to the world, barely aware of it or what just happened to me. I finally regain focus and notice that Hawk is still there, perched on the same branch. I think to myself, ' did that just happen?' and as I do the Hawk takes flight out of sight. I gather myself together and go home still dazed
Many seasons have passed since that day, that moment in eternity, and once in a while things still come to me that help me put together this puzzle of who and what I/we are, but still much remains a mystery to me. It was this that began my journey to rediscover my heritage, to find my grandfathers and grandmothers (Choctaw) people and traditions. These people who could tell me what Hawk told me of.
As I grew and learned to listen to and work with the Hawks spirit in everyday life, the Bond between us became stronger and my growth increased. My other relationships benefitted from this as well. Wherever I am, the sight of Hawk in the vicinnnity warns me to be alert to myself or my surroundings, to use 'both' sets of eyes. The keen,intense, unflinching focus of attention that is the power of Hawk has forced more honest observations of issues and habits that were easily ignored previously. Hawk also gives me the courage to accept "flight", not to be afraid to release the branch and soar without losing that all important focus. Vision. The wisdom that flgiht without focus is dangerous! But most important, this relatonship has opened me to the 'inner teacher', or that within me that knows.
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