"What's up?" asked Minion No. 7 curiously.
"You know Darcy left Seventh Heaven?"
"Yeah?"
"He's been replaced."
"What?"
Crouton glanced back at the jewel encrusted gates and said, "Depp and Bloom aren't the only ones there."
"Who's the other one?" asked Flower, interested despite herself.
Crouton shrugged, "No idea."
"But we've only got two creators and they're only allowed one god each aren't they?" objected Flower. "Where'd the other one come from?"
"Noggin," said Minion No. 7. "Noggin's back, the higher powers must have created a new one for her. Plus Darcy forfeited his godship when he married a Creator."
Crouton nodded, "Everyone forgot about Darcy after Noggin left. Gremlin and Cretin banned anything remotely related to her for months."
Minion No. 7 grinned, "You remember the wedding? They sat in the front row scowling all the way through it."
"Yeah. Maids of honour aren't meant to do that." Crouton frowned, "Gremlin even refused to drink the milk."
"Yep, and Cretin didn't even try to covert the glittery wrapping paper."
"They must have been really upset," said Flower reflectively. "Either that or jealous."
"Are we going to ask them or not?" asked Minion No. 7 suddenly.
Crouton nodded, and they trudged up to the star studded entrance before hauling on the silver bell rope. The glittering doors swung open slowly and a man with short brown hair stepped out to greet them.
"Yes?"
"Who are you?"
"Shouldn't I be the one asking that?" he frowned.
"I'm Crouton the High Minion, this is Minion No. 7, that's Flower and you should already know that. Aren't you meant to be omniscient?"
The man looked around shiftily. "I am?"
"You're new aren't you?" said Flower, hovering in front of him.
"Yes..."
"Right well, the other two are omniscient so I suppose you must be. What's you're name?" asked Crouton.
"Alan."
"Do you know who you creator is?" asked Minion No. 7.
"Someone called," the man consulted a scrap of paper. "Lady N. Darcy."
"Is she allowed to have two gods?" whispered Minion No. 7 to Crouton who shrugged.
"I guess she must be. Interesting... I wonder what would happen if Cretin and Gremlin married their gods but refused to leave..."
"What's going on here?" asked another man wearing a trilby who had just strolled up.
"You're supposed to know that apparently," said Alan. "Why did no one tell me I'm omniscient?"
"You're supposed to know," answered the hat wearing god. "Hello Crouton. What do you want?"
"It's Cretin's birthday, you're overdue a visit and we're broke."
He laughed, "I take it Orlando's coming too?"
"Unless we want Gremlin to sulk for a couple of months, yes."
He grinned went to fetch the other god, leaving them alone with Alan who looked at them nervously.
"I suppose you'd better come too," said Crouton, "I wonder if Noggin knows about you..."
Cretin, Gremlin and Noggin sat at the plotting table discussing party food and arguing amiably as usual.
"Fine! I'll go get the rule book and show you!" shouted Gremlin, running up the stairs to fetch it.
Cretin and Noggin were silent for a moment then Cretin asked, "Where are the gnomes?"
"I told them to start digging a couple of pits outside. It seems to be keeping them occupied."
Gremlin tumbled into the room and held up the Minion Rule Book - Volume 1, triumphantly. "See! You have to serve milk at every celebratory function or else you shall be thrown into the pit of doom."
"The pit of doom? I don't remember that one," said Noggin.
Cretin shuddered, "I do. It's horrible."
"Why?"
"It's got pictures of the king of demons himself pinned up all over it."
King of demons...? "Oh! You mean Jon-"
"Don't say his name!"
"What? Jonathon Ross?"
Cretin screamed and fled from the room just as someone knocked on the door.
"I wonder who that could be?" frowned Gremlin, pulling the lever that opened the secret door at the base of the tree.
A few minutes later the mysterious knocker knocked once again on the entrance to the main room.
"Who is it?" asked Gremlin frowning.
"It's me. Minion No. 6."
Gremlin grinned and opened the door.
"It took you long enou... Oh, who's your friend...?"
