| FOOM MAN BOOM DUDE |
| Versus |
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| (Note: Before You Read This Story Make Sure You Have Read Foom Man's Entire Biography) |
| As our group of heroes yet again came to meet in the confines of the Burger Monarch fryer, there was little turmoil amongst them. Recently defeating Cosbot, a Cyborg incarnation of Bill Cosby bent on protecting the Jello Company Bill Cosby represented, they were ready to sit in for a wee rest. As Club Bearer, Fast Guy, and Mono waited for the others, they began a light hearted conversation. "Looks like your socks need a wash Fast Guy," Club Bearer began. He pointed out how the tips were red as the rest remained lime green. "Piss off you ignorant asswipe," Fast Guy quickly replied. "The tips of the fast socks are colored differently because they hold by far greater fast powers-" "Blah, blah, blah. I didn't ask for your life story shithead," Club bearer interupted. Fast Guy then threw a spatula at lightning speed at Club Bearer. Club Bearer tried to bat it away, but Fast Guy was too fast for him. Club Bearer got knocked out and fell to the floor like a sack of bricks. Just then Homeless Man walked in. "What happened to him?" Homeless Man asked, motioning to Club Bearer who layed on the floor. Fast Guy and Mono exchanged a look. "He uh... just got off an eight ball. He'll be out for a while," Mono replied. There was a brief silence. "Works for me," Homeless Man said as he sat down at his milk carton. "You see Space Toaster and shit kicker yet?" "Uh no, I haven't seen Space T and Foom Man," Fast Guy said as he picked up his spatula off Club Bearer's body. "Damnit... where are those two?" Homeless Man said in anger. WHHHHHHHHAMM!!!!!!!! Just then, Space Toaster and Foom Man came flying in through the uh... ceiling of the fryer room, crashing through. The crash would of killed any normal man, but Space Toaster has the ability to fall from vast heights. As the dust settled, the rest of the group watched as the two stood up. "Man that hurts like hell..." Space Toaster said, holding his head in great agony. He then retrieved ten advil capsules from his belt and swallowed them instantly. Foom Man wobbled back towards a corner, and tripped over Club Bearer. "Where were you two?" asked Fast Guy as he flipped several burger patties. "Just testing a theory Mono here told us about," Foom Man replied, shaking his head. Homeless Man and Fast Guy looked at Mono. "Well I had to do something to get them out of my hair..." Mono whispered to Homeless Man and Fast Guy. "I told them that Foom Man could fly, and that only at specific heights. I told them I knew it psycicaly... go figure." They all nodded, as the two recently landed heroes regained their balance. "We've tried tons of various heights, no fixed rate though. We keep falling and stalling... one day though... we'll find one," Foom Man said as he collapsed onto his trash can. "My god we're a sad group of super heroes..." Space Toaster mumbled to himself. "So whats the order of buisness today?" "Well," Homeless Man said as Club Bearer crawled to his milk crate, "We have a new enemy. He's the newest addition to the Massholes. Here." He then reached into his shopping cart of infinite volume. Several minutes later he revealed a photograph and placed it on their coffee table. "His names Asshole. Smartass initiated him into the Massholes last Tuesday. He has the power to take an item's kintic energy and transfer it to energy so potent, it creates an explosion." "Hey," Club Bearer said, "He sounds kinda like that guy Gam-" "NO! HE'S COMPLETELY DIFFERENT!!!" Homeless Man yelled. "Now then, he acquired the name because he weapon of choice is dog feces." Silence filled the room. "How does that match up to my Foom powers?" Foom Man asked, trying not to laugh. "Well look, " Homeless Man said as he yet again reached into his shopping cart, to retrieve his remote control for their 5" television. Forty minutes later he revealed it, and turned on the WMYZ news. The group huddled around the set, now all wide awake and concious. "Well it appears the Massholes, a super arch villan gang of freaks and gifted humans have reaked havok on a local highway. They destroyed a bus by forcing it off a cliff, seen here." The image on the TV went from the female caster to a video of a bus heading up a highway as Asshole stood infront of it. Asshole pulled some dog feces from his bag-o-crap, held it for a moment, and hurled it at the bus. The explosion then flipped the bus over and sent it sliding off a cliff. "200 people were killed on that bus..." "GOOD LORD!" Space Toaster yelled. "How do you get 200 people on a bus?!" "...And we only wish someone could stop them. Our police force simply cannoy fight back with their weapons, and we need a team of top notch heroes to defeat them. "Too bad we're the only heroes in town," Mono spoke. |
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