S2b

     "Well, I guess we better get going then," said Homeless Man. Apparently everyone else thought no.
      "Can't the Justice League handle it?" asked Space Toaster.
      "Or Ultra Man?" asked Fast Guy as he continued to flip burgers.
      "Or Batman?" nagged on Foom Man.
      "Or perhaps the Ghostbusters," said Mono.
      "The Justice League is already fighting the Alliance of Evil Thingees, Ultra Man can't because Space Toaster jacked his jet in a poker game, Batman doesn't live in Crackton, New Jersey like us, and the Ghostbusters are in their late forties, and can only harm ghosts," Homeless Man quickly replied. "Now stop your bitching and lets roll!" With that the group slowly rose to their feet, stretching their backs from the long wait of Homeless Man's retrievings.
       "Now, to my Ultra Jet!" announced Space Toaster. The group then ran outside, and hopped into the gigantic harrier as it laid in the Burger Monarch parking lot. The jet was taking up several handy cap spaces, and due to that four people whom were disabled lay in pain on the pavement as the group stomped over them to jump into their super duper jacked jet.
       After the twelve minute startup, the jet lifted off the ground.
       "Everyone have their breathing apporatous on?" Space Toaster asked as he sat in the front ready to fly. Everyone replied with a "Check." "Braced for dramatic speed increase?" Space Toaster asked. "Check" everyone replied. "Here we go!" Space Toaster yelled as he jammed the throttle. The jet than went BOOOOOOOOOO- and abruptly stopped a whole 1.4seconds later at the highway. "Okay, let's go."
       The entire group then exited the plane, ready for action. (Wondering when the story will turn to Foom Man versus Boom Dude?)
       The Massholes were already laying in wait, poised for a fight.
       "Like my newsest toy?" Smart Ass spoke in his usual arrogant tone. He pointed towards Asshole. Asshole threw a small piece of crap at the group that exploded, making them all jump back a small bit. Smart Ass laughed diabolically at the Ultra Acquaintances brief moment of fear. It would have been perfect, but Smart Ass had to bend over to speak and look.... so he looked rather comical.
      "Nice new contacts Smart Ass," Foom Man spoke in his super duper heroic voice. "What color are they, red eye?" The entire UA group then snikkered as Smart Ass turned red in rage.
      "ENOUGH!" Smart Ass yelled.
      "Alright everybody, time for intros!" yelled Club Bearer. In a Pokemon fashion, everyone then leaped up.
      "Fast Guy!" yelled an Asian commentator quicikly into his microphone, "No one can run as fast as he can-he Fast Guy, Fast Guy! The fastest ma-"
      "Who the fuck are you?" Tax Man asked, The Asian commentator stood silent, then gathered up his microphone and speakers and walked away.
      "Alright, forget intros, lets go!" yelled Chesus. He quickly sprayed Fast Guy in the eyes.
      "Gah!" Fast Guy yelled in agony, "That really sting man. Jesus..."
      "Hey Homeless Man," Foom Man whispered to Homeless Man,"I would like to blow them up now, may I?" Homeless Man shook his head.
      "Mmm hmm," Foom Man spoke, clearing his throat, "FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!" As the blast sent a bus of school children off the nearby cliff, the Foom blast also sent the entire Masshole gang flying away, all that is besides Boom Dude, who was unaffected by the Foom power!
      "Ha, you fool!" spoke Boom Dude. "Neither you or I are effected by the Foom and Boom powers. You cannot harm me!"
      <Then logically you can't hurt him either,> Mono replied. There was several seconds of silence.
      "Uh........... BOOOOOOOOOM!!" Boom Dude yelled. The entire UA group went flying away, except for Foom Man. The wind blew by slowly, as the two sized each other up.
     "I knew it would come to this..." Foom Man spoke dryly.
      "How so Foom Man?" Boom Dude asked.
      "Perhaps you haven't heard the title of this weeks episode, 'Foom Man versus Boom Dude.'" Foom Man scoffed.
      "Hey, up yours!" Boom Dude yelled. He then ran up to Foom Man and tackled him. the two rolled around until they came to the nearby cliff. Boom Dude was the first to slip off as Foom Man layed on the ground directly on the cliff. Foom Man held Boom Dude's hand, Boom Dude's only hope of not falling.
      "You know.... I could just kill you now," Foom Man spoke face to face with Boom Dude. "But I won't... cause that would kill the plot."
      "Plot, eh?" Boom Dude said. He then yanked Foom Man over the cliff. They both then began to fall.
      "GAH!!!!! WE'RE GUNNA DIE!!!!!!" the two yelled at the top of their lungs.All of the sudden, Foom Man began to attempt to fly, relying of Mono's earlier advice. Boom Dude, seeing Foom Man try at it, laughed.
      "If you can fly, so can I!" they both plumeted towards the Earth, aiming upwards, one hand forward in a fist, the other tucked down.
      A nearby family witnessed them falling. "Daddy, it's a bird!" said a small boy.
      "It's a plane!" spoke a small girl.
      "It's a plane ol' bird, now get in the GODDAMN VAN!" the father yelled at the top of thier lungs.
      "GAHHHHHHHH!!" the two explosive freaks yelled as they plumeted at exponential rates of speed.