S2c

         As they plumeted towards the Earth, Boom Dude and Foom Man were helpless, attempting to fly as Mono the Psycic Guerilla had told Foom Man they could. They fell staring directly at one anotherin rage, poised in a Superman-like flying position.


          "How could I possibly be losing!?" Fast Guy yelled as he tripped, running from the insane Chesus after he had run a great distance from the fight, and was in great need of rest.
          "I'm gonna gitcha! Gonna gitcha!!" Chesus screamed as he held his cans of Aero-cheese high in the air. His towel for a cape swayed with the wind as he, somehow, caught up to Fast Guy. As he grabbed Fast Guy's shoulder, Fast Guy spoke.
          "How the hell did you catch up to me?!?" Fast Guy screamed.
          "Your arrogance has made you soft Fast Guy! Yes, you may be fast, I'll give you that. But you're not too fast." With that Fast Guy's eyes filled with rage. He then pushed Chesus away, and went at full speed into him, tackling him into a tree with much force and speed. WHAM! As Chesus laid at the tree's base badly bruised, Fast Guy laid on top of him, sleeping.
          Nearby, at a exporting/inporting bay, Homeless Man was having his own troubles, dealing with two opponents: Tax Man and Asshole. As the two closed in on him, cornering him into an alley, things were looking grim.
          "Well, it appears you can run for a long time Homeless Man..." Tax Man spoke dryly. "But how are you at fighting?"
          "Seeing as this is our first fight in quite some timeTax Man, I think we will both be surprised," Homeless Man replied. He then quickly retrieved his street special (a sock filled with marbles for the ignorant)from his overcoat and smashed Tax Man and Asshole across their faces. They fell like rocks as Homeless Man fleed and climbed up a fire escape. When he got to the top, he saw Club Bearer have a difficult time dealing with Smart Ass.
         Smart Ass was in one of his prized mech combat suits, the Wipe 9. It beared dual gattling guns and reverse jointed legs. Club Bearer was stooped on its back, smashing away at its plexxiglass cover which shielded Smart Ass.
          As the machine batted Club Bearer away, Homeless Man proudly revealed his magic flashlight. Fearing it held actual productive abilities, the Wipe 9 shot the magic flashlight instantly. It was obliterated into many various pieces as Homeless Man dropped it in reaction.
           "Crap..." Homeless Man muttured.
          "Well Homeless Man, it appears you hjave failed once again," Smart Ass spoke through the Wipe 9's intercom. "Any last words before I blast you into your well deserving hell! Muahahahaha!"
           "Sweet sassy molassey!" Homeless Man said as he witnessed his flashlight reconstruct itslef before his very eyes. When it was finished, and very quickly I might add, it shined brightly at the Wipe 9's visual unit.
           "Gah!!" Smart Ass yelled as he vered away from the blinding light. As he moved backwards, Club Bearer smashed him off the building. As he feel a glorious ten feet, Homeless Man and Club Bearer high-fived one another.
           "Let's go help out Mono and Fast Guy," Homeless Man said as they ran to the edge of the building.
           "What about Foom Man and Space Toaster?" Club Bearer asked as he descended the fire escape casually.
           "Screw em," Homeless Man replied with ease.

           As Space Toaster fleed from Dark Space Toaster, whom he had just tripped, he ran into the new face in the Masshole gang, Asshole. The two met up in an alley that Space Toaster was tryng to activate his weapons from and Asshole saw him. Asshole quickly darted down the alley in hot pursuit of Space Toaster. Being valiant, Space Toaster did not budge an inch from his standing point.
           "Take this you unnaffective moron!" Asshole exclaimed as he threw a paper bag filled with four week's old dog crap at Space Toaster. Space Toaster quickly dodged his attack, and smacked Asshole upside the face. As the bag-o-crap exploded, Space Toaster placed his hands on Assholes hands, heating them up to extremely high and dangerous temperatures.
           "Unaffective?! I'll show you what I, SPACE TOASTER, can do!" he exclaimed as he burnt Asshole's palms. He then leapt to his feet and witnessed Asshole clasp his hands in pain. His skin had been burnt badly, and Asshole couldn't bear to touch anything but his own hands!
            "Well at least I cannot blow myself up..." Asshole muttered to himself. Space Toaster then smiled, grabbed his equipment, and retreated to a better location to restock his weapons.

             In another alley (gosh theres a lot of em here), Mono was in battle mode, hiding behind a dumpster. As Mono stealthily hid in the shadows, he stalked his prey. Whom is his intended kill you ask? Yes, you guessed it.
             El Presidente Super Retardo... aka George Bush. He posseses the abilities of a Spanish wrestler, featuring a tootoo. He also has the power to summon Dick Cheney for backup. Bush was standing around, prepared to unleash his wrath of ballet-related moves. Mono watched him, preparing his next strike. As Mono hunched back preparing for a tackle, EPSR heard him make a small patter on the concrete.
             Mono then quickly leapt in an effort to take EPSR down, but EPSR was ready. EPSR quickly turned around and smashed Mono's face with his elbow. Mono quickly hit the ground, dissoriented from the hit. EPSR then quickly smashed him into the dumpster, several times. When EPSR tired from his bashing, he walked back a bit, and took a breather. Mono was badly bruised, and was nearing a cuncusion.
             "Fool..." Bush spoke quitely. He then kicked Mono in the ribs and backed up even more. "I now shall summon DICK CHENEY!" He bellowed as large, dark omonous clouds gathered above him. Bush then spoke "Cheney... AWAKE!!!" With that final incarnation statement, Cheney exploded from the dumpster, shoving the lid up. Cheney roared, then slowly stepped out of the dumpster. He then stood up, heaving his breaths. He then clutched his chest, and feel to the ground, suffering a fatal heart attack. There was then several seconds of silence
            "Uh...I'll be right back," Bush said. He then dragged Cheney's corpse out of view. Mono sat on the ground, waiting for Bush to return.