Derfy:Hey Melvin! What's wrong man? We've only been here for 10 minutes and you've downed 3 beers and you've picked up smoking too.
Melvin: I don't give a shit anymore. I'm having a little change in life.
Romeo: Oh yah, change is always good. Whatever it is, we'll always be behind you 100%.
Melvin:(surprised & relieved) Really? You guys are the greatest!
Thanh: So you want to tell us what's going on?
Melvin: Well, I guess so, since now I know that you guys will stand by me through thick and thin. It's such a relief to know, you'll always have people supporting you. Well, here it goes. I'm gay!
Romeo:(in shock and dismay) Gay! You mean a fruity little bitch? What about your girlfriend? Does she know?
Melvin:I think she suspects something. Last week she found my dildo and it still had my crap stains on it.
Romeo:Holy mother of lord, get out of the freaking way!
I'm going to upchuck!
Thanh:Someone get me a fucking drink, thanks Sebastian. That's better, now what were you saying? You like it up the ass?
Melvin:Since we're all brothers, I feel very comfortable showing you this new side of me.
Thanh:(freaked out) What in the name of Satan! We don't want to see your freaking cornhole, man! Hey, hey, hey, get the fuck away from me, you fucking gaylord. Your not raping me, you fucking homo.
Thanh/Romeo:Derfy! Watch out, gaylord Melvin's going for your ass.
Melvin:(in despair) I can't help it. It's so plump and juicy looking, in those tight jeans.
Derfy:(outraged) So that's why when we're on our motorcycles, you always want to ride behind me and my ass ain't that fat!
Romeo: Oh man, let's ditch this Richard Simmons wannabe. We don't need no assplug hanging around us.
Melvin: (confused & on the brink of insanity) But I thought we were friends until the end? You guys said we would be friends no matter what. I thought we were brothers.
Thanh:Well, we were, until you told us that you were a fag. We have a no faggot clause. Sorry man.
Romeo:Oh my goodness! Look guys, Mango caught homo disease from Melvin.
Mango:(sobbing yet relieved)I can't stand it anymore, I love him! I'm sick of holding my cock.
Thanh:Jesus fucking Murphy, I think Melvin is having an orgasm. Holy shit, they're coming for us, run!
Thanh:Juan, who the fuck do you think you are? The freaking Marlboro Man? Quit posing and let's get the hell out of here!
Derfy: Tonto, how are you getting out of here?
Tonto: I don't know but I got to get my whiteass faraway from those 2 flamers.
Kiwi: Tonto!! Over here!
Kiwi: Whatever you do, don't look back.
Tonto: Ok. What the hell you doing here Kiwi?
Kiwi: Don't ask me, it's not my damn webpage. But I can tell you one thing, these rapid waters ain't good for my hemroids.
Derfy: What about me guys? I have no transportation out of here!
Tonto: Sorry man, there's only enough room for 3 bodies on this raft.
Derfy: But it's only you and Kiwi on the boat.
Tonto/Kiwi: We need room for our flat of beer. Sorry Derfy, I'm sure you understand, bye.
Juan: Shit, I think they got Romeo too. Melvin and Mango have him ready to be penis probed.
Thanh: Hey look, your horse just took a big dump. Oh my god, it's still going. Tonto, Kiwi, what are you guys doing here? I thought you guys were long gone.
Tonto:(drunk and disoriented) We were, but we decided to turn back when we saw a white, fully loaded, 1998, Mitsubishi Eclipse GST.
Unidentified voice: What a nice car, eh!
I think there is a moral to this story. If your friend turns gay, he wasn't your friend to begin with. He was just scheming to cork you up the butthole.
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