| Too Late by Silver Orbs �Leslie! Hello!� My lips curved into a fake smile as the girl greeted me. Sighing softly, I made my way through the crowd, stopping every second or so to flash a meek smile to the numerous people who seemed to find pleasure in saying my name. I finally stepped out into the sunlight and took refuge in a secluded spot in our campus. I leaned back on the tree and finally let the tears fall. These feelings have been locked up for so long and I finally got the chance to let them out. People say being beautiful is so wonderful, you lead an easy and comfortable lifestyle. You have no problem at all in matters of love, studies� or whatever. You can easily manipulate anybody to make matters manageable for you. After all, nobody will be able to resist you. Funny� why does it seem the exact opposite for me? I don�t live a comfortable lifestyle. The life I lead does not even come close. Yes� I have been gifted with such an exquisite face and though it is possible to control anybody to make things easier for me� I choose not to. But it�s not that makes my life complicated. It�s him� he is the one who makes my sole existence in this world become so miserable. People say I�m attractive� that I can have anybody I desire. But why can�t I have him? He�s all I want and yet he is still not mine. The soft wind shook me out of my reverie as it gently caressed my cheek. I stood up, resigned to spend another night agonizing over my secret love. I stood up, regained my composure and started the long walk towards my home. My eyes remained heavy and the burden in my heart did not lessen in spite of the fact that I have poured out all of my emotions. Why? Why did I ever fall for someone I can never have? My eyes roamed the campus, searching for any sign that he might be there. But it looks like there was none. I felt the hot sear of pain working its way into my eyes. Everywhere I looked, there were happy couples everywhere and it added to the ache I was already feeling inside. I turned and saw the sparkle in the guys� eyes as they looked at me. Sure, it was true that I could easily pick any guy in this school but the guy I wanted just wasn�t that easy to get. I was about to give up hope when a familiar stance caught my attention. There he was! My heart caught in my chest as I looked at him. He looked so� damn. He looked so damn fine. The way his silky brown hair fell into his eyes and framed his face. God� how I would�ve loved to run my hands through those soft locks. But I knew I couldn�t. Now I would be content in admiring him from afar. My lips formed into a benign smile as I continued to gaze at him. His curiously intense violet eyes were alight as he continued to pore over his nose. At first glance, you would think that his eyes were a light blue because of the glasses that were always glued to his face. But I knew better. As I stared at him, my mind formed a determined decision. Let�s try my charm on him. Just one more time. It wouldn�t be such a loss for me, wouldn�t it? I cautiously walked towards him, ignoring the turning heads that were looking at me as I passed by. Finally near enough, I stopped, pasted a smile on my face and tapped him on the shoulder. �Hi. Uhrm, I was just wondering�� I took a deep breath. �May I borrow your notes?� The hand that was writing furiously suddenly stopped. He turned and fixed his gorgeous eyes at me. A blush slowly crept to my cheeks but I held my composure. He blinked many times, as if it was his first time to be spoken to- �Come� come again?� I let out the breath that I realized I was holding. I gave him another stunning smile. �I was just wondering if I could borrow your notes.� A timid smile formed on his lips. He looked so darn cute that I wanted to kiss him right then and there. But instead, I patiently waited for his response. �Yes�� he said softly. �If you would really want to.� That was a month ago. Carl easily became my friend. As our friendship grew stronger, my feelings for him got deeper than ever before and it was taking so hard to restrain myself from blurting out the whole truth. But I guess� I don�t know� I still had my pride. That was something that wasn�t very easy to discard. Even though I was madly in love with him and I wanted so much to tell him how much I love him� my pride got the better of me. I was not about to stoop that low just to have him for myself. The reason was there was still this nagging thought that he would not accept the feelings I had for him. Carl was very different from the other guys I knew. He was special. �Leslie, hey, are you still there?� I snapped out of my reverie and my eyes fixed on Carl�s gentle face. A light smile found its way to my lips as I gazed at the sight. He just looked so damn gorgeous. �Huh? Oh, sorry� I was just� I got lost in my thoughts�� his eyes bore through mine and I could see myself reflected in his eyes. A sudden mix of emotions crossed my entirety. It was different this time. My intuition told me that it was now or never. This was the right time. I should not let it go. �Leslie� my parents want me to go back to the-� �I love you.� His voice faltered a little. �-to go back to the States. I�ll� I�ll be finishing my studies there.� My world suddenly shattered and I felt as if I had been slapped hard across my face. I had lowered myself just to tell him how I really felt but it proved worthless. �I said� I love you.� I said forcefully this time, my voice starting to break. He placed a gentle hand on my jaw, making me stare at his stunning eyes. There was a sudden burning, stinging feeling creeping into the corners of my eyes. I did my best to fight them back. I tried to avert my gaze from his but he held my face firmly. There was no other choice but to gaze painfully back. �I heard you the first time. But we cannot change things,� he removed his glasses and stared imploringly at me. �I�m sorry.� I couldn�t hold them back any longer. I suddenly broke down. Why can�t I stop these fucking tears? I hastily wiped them away but to no avail. A new wave of tears followed just as the first ones were gone. I leaned back on the wall and buried my face between my knees, my heart bearing the heavy load of pain inside. A cry of anguish escaped my lips as memories-bittersweet memories came rushing back. In my hand I held a crumpled sheet of paper. It was one of the reasons why this ache was filling me inside. It contained so much truth and so much bitterness that I found it hard to ease the hurt I felt. My dearest Leslie� As you read this, I am long gone and on my way to San Francisco. Please don�t shed those tears for me. I�m not worth crying for. And you know� I cannot bear to see you cry. I am greatly sorry for causing you so much pain and I know you deserve to know the whole truth. At least, these silent confessions may clear your mind of how I really feel. Yes� I admit. I am in love with you too. Shock was an understatement for what I felt when you blurted out those precious three words to me. But then� you made me see the light. I didn�t have to hide it anymore. These whole feelings of fear were cast away as I stared into your eyes. But then� it is too late. We cannot prevent the inevitable-I tried my best but I could not do anything to stop myself from leaving you. I�m sorry. Perhaps it wasn�t meant to be. But I� I still can�t get over it. I love you. Carl See? See how much it hurts? We both know that we were meant for each other. But the fates have a funny way of bringing together two souls. They let it be, then tear it apart. Just like that. And it becomes too painful. Too hard to take. Yes. We did love each other. But there were a lot of emotions that held us back. Fear, pride� so much emotions. And by the time realization took place� it was too late. |
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